I didnt know where to turn and then discovered this board.
I didnt want to come on a winge and whine but I think Im probably going to end up doing just that.
I just dont know what to do anymore.
I havent had a low like this for a while now and quite honestly I just want to throw myself off a very tall building or something.
I live in Tenerife and whilst I love living here I have reached a low point where I cant pull myself out of.
I feel as though nothing is going right for me. My relationship is not good at the moment anyway. I cant face work. I would sit in the car and force myself to go. Its my own business and there is no reason that I would be unhappy in it other than my mental state telling me I am.
I dont sleep. It gets to about midnight, 1am and my eyes are like saucers. Its impossible to sleep. I dont even bother trying anymore. Last night I managed to nod off at about half 5 in the morning.
My mind races with thoughts, and they start to swamp my brain.
I dont want to eat, cant communicate with people.
I just dont know what to do. Just curl up and cry.
In the UK I was prescribed anti depressants which I took and no longer take. I know that I probably shouldnt have stopped them but I felt ok for a while. But these past few months its been getting unbearable.
I dont know how I would go about getting help over here, but I feel ashamed of whats going on with me. I cant talk with my mum and dad, I feel like its a taboo subject. I am in my 20´s and feel completely and utterly alone in this.
Please if someone can help me I would so appreciate it.
I am not bp and I live in the states so I don't know if I can help but I just felt your pain and wanted you to know someone is here. I know there are many here that can help more so don't go away someone will respond. Do you have a pdoc? I thought an antidepressant alone is not good for bp that it can make you manic? Don't feel ashame you are reaching out for help and that is a big step. Talk to your parents about it too. Lots of people here know about the questions you asked.
I dont have a pdoc,I wouldnt even know where to start over here to be honest.
I guess I have always felt like this is kind of a taboo subject and even when I was going to therapy I felt ucomfortable talking about it.
I am not from the UK (I am guessing that's where you might be) but I know that you can go to a hospital where ever you are and get help. So do that immediately. What you have is as serious as a broken leg, so treat it that way, go to the emergency room of a hospital and explain to them how you feel.
Welcome to the board. I learn something new every time I peek in. Now I know were Tenerife is, as I looked it up after seeing your post.
I gather you have not been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. From your brief description of how you are feeling, the racing thoughts, agitation, insomnia are all signs of hypomania. If you were to just take an antidepressant at this point, it very well might flip you into a full-blown manic episode. In order to begin to feel better, you really need to seek out a mental health professional who can make a thorough evaluation of your condition. There are many new medications out there that can return your life to normal, reduce the episodes and the symptoms you are feeilng. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to get your situation under control. So please seek some help.
Having bipolar disorder is nothing to be ashamed of. It is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain that effects the part of the brain that controls thought process and emotion....just as Alzheimer's disease and Parkinson's disease are brain disorders that effect memory or movement. People wouldn't think less of you if you developed Parkinson's disease. You did nothing to cause it to happen. The same is true of bipolar disorder.
Of course, only a qualified psychiatrist should make this diagnosis. Other well-meaning doctors may prescribe medicines for the "symptoms" but often they do not really understand what would be appropriate neuropharmaceuticals that would allow the patient to manage the BP. They can make the symptoms worse by prescribing the wrong medications.
I hope that you will be able to find help where you live. Try not to be discouraged. You are feeling bad now, but there is help for you. Also please keep posting with your questions and comments, or if you just want to know there are others around the world who feel or felt like you do.
Yes, Toshl said it all. You are in a hypomanic phase right now and you need a mood stabilizer. There are many to pick from but your psychiatrist will decide. I have read enough of these posts to know that your country has all sorts of great help for your disorder. You need/must tell your parents if they are footing the bill. Otherwise just call 911, you are in such a state where calling 911 isn't unheard of. We've been there and it is rough. Coming down will probably be worst.
You are not alone. There are so many people like you who have no idea what is wrong with them, and who do not seek help. It is sad, because this is a very treatable "illness." I'm sorry I do not know anything about the health care situation where you are...but I do hope there is some sort of mental health facility and that you can go and be evaluated. Just don't let them give you an antidepressant by itself. We have a tendency to think of the word "mania" and think of those wild feelings of euphoria, etc. This is only one symptom. In hypomania, people do not feel euphoria. Rather it presents as agitation, irritability, rage and anger, inability to sleep, etc. And you can also be feeling sad and depressed at the same time...so if this describes at all how you are feeling, be sure to mention bipolar disorder if they don't bring it up themselves!!
I am an American that is currently in the UK and learning about the system here. I was initially given anti-depressents too which put me into a hypomanic state like what you are currently experiencing. I am just about to start the proper antipsychotics.
I don't know how Tenerife/Spanish health system is but I can relate to you with how it's scary to be in a foreign country where you don't know how the healthcare system works. I'd suggest seeing a general doctor first to see if they must recomend you to a psychiatrist? Or is there a mental help line you can find out about?
Last edited by moderator2; 04-05-2007 at 09:17 PM.
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