End of the road... HELP! - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

benny-T · 04-17-2007, 04:17 AM

I've been with my bi-polar girlfriend now for 9 months and I have had a gut full of the way she is so ungrateful to me and lashes out at me everytime she doesn't get her own way.

Just tonight she threatened to break up with me and get me killed simply because I didn't feel like going out!

When I first started going out with her I didn't know she had bi-polar and when she told me she did I said it was ok with me, not really knowing the road that would lay ahead of me.

I really want to make things work as I know in my heart I truley do love her but I can't handle her erratic mood swings which can't seem to be stopped.

The time we have had together has had alot of good times, but my god... has it had some bad times!!!! I've tried so much and put so much time and effort into this relationship but I am almost 100% certain I can't put up with this forever and now I think I have to end it but the last 2 times I did she tried to kill herself and I ended back with her out of sympathy I guess.

When I try to just be friends with her, it never works.

I know I am going to find it difficult... I honestly don't know what the right way is how to go about it... the last thing I want is her killing herself

But then at the same time I don't see our situation improving so I can't see any other choice

Can anyone here offer me any advice? I feel so damn confused.

Thanks

Ben

jgr01 · 04-17-2007, 05:17 AM

Ben,

is she medicated? I really feel sorry for you.
If she is unmedicated she is extremely selfish - in my opinion. Sure be unmedicated but do not expect others to stick around.
Do NOT bend to her manipulating emotional blackmail either - re suicide.
If she has a psych - suggest that you go with her next time. You can see what he's saying and get more involved with the knowledge of both BP and treatment.

BTW how old is she?

Juliet

goody2shuz · 04-17-2007, 05:31 AM

Hi....it really takes a special person to be able to truly understand somebody who has BP and the effects it has upon one's life. If you are feeling that you are not the person who is going to be able to be there for your girlfriend for the long run, it just may be in everybody's best interest that you do make some arrangements to end the relationship. When somebody has a health issue whether it be physical or mental, they deserve somebody who is able to support them through it. It really isn't fair to either one of you for you to stay just out of sympathy. You sound like a nice guy but just not the guy who is going to be able to be the one to be there for the long run and that is the bottom line of the entire situation here.

One question.....is your girlfriend on any meds?? And is she taking them as perscribed??? Does she see a psychiatirst and therapist n a fairly regular basis??? How about sleep....does she get enough of that and eat right as well as incorporate exercise and avoid stressful situations as much as possible??? I ask these questions because it is very important that your GF manage her BP properly in order to avoid any relapses or develop some coping skills that will make it easier for her to interact with others when under stress. It is possible that your GF is not stabilized with the right meds which may be contributing to her behavior. BP is a chemical imbalance within the area of the brain that controls ones emotions and thought processes. If the right meds are not in place then this will definitely have some effect on one's behavior and interaction with others.

In any case....my advice is that if you are 100% sure that you are not able to be in this relationship that you do get out of it. Prolonging things is just not going to help. It might be a good idea if you forewarn her support system whether it be a good friend or family member so that they are around to help her through any difficulties that may arise from your leaving the relationship. Is that possible in this situation for you to do that???

It is a reality that relationships don't always work out and it is a reality that some people are just not programmed to have a relationship with somebody who has a health problem or disablity. Like I said, it takes a really strong and special person to be able to do so and the longer you remain with her the less likely she will be able to find that person. You must be fair and honest and truthful.

I hope this helps you in someway. Everybody deserves to be loved whether they have BP or not. Your post does show that you do care about her well being but are lacking in the ability to be supportive to her when things are not going well for her. Acknowledging that certainly isn't an easy thing to do but the facts stand that you must do what is fair to both parties here by being honest and then acting upon it.

I wish you luck and if you have any further questions or concerns please feel free to ask.

~ Goody

mudhound · 04-17-2007, 06:25 PM

I have been to the end of the road so many times. I am married to a person who has bp and to say it has been tough is correct. If i had it to do over, i must confess that i would not choose to. This may sound harsh but this illness effect every aspect of one's life.
Now, i love my wife and care deeply for her. I plan on staying this way until death does us part. Being on the proper meds helps a lot. Staying in therpy helps too.
One must want help to get it.

benny-T · 04-18-2007, 03:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goody2shuz

One question.....is your girlfriend on any meds?? And is she taking them as perscribed??? Does she see a psychiatirst and therapist n a fairly regular basis??? How about sleep....does she get enough of that and eat right as well as incorporate exercise and avoid stressful situations as much as possible???

She has just started taking Zyprexa again as she wasnt getting to sleep till 4 in the morning. She is using it more for the sleeping effects as she has started a TAFE course in Business Administration.

She does have a psych she has been seeing for 2 years now.

Her diet could be improved i guess and she despises exercise even though she was coming to the gym with me for a while.

We have decided to go on a break for 2 weeks today, her call which came as no suprise as she is in a cold hearted mood at the moment. The breaks never last though... hopefully she is strong enough this time...

Just thought i'd let you know what is going on at the moment, everything is pretty much up in the air... hard times... maybe it will work out for the best....

I love her so much but