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Old 06-01-2007, 05:02 AM   #1
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Escapade HB User
Dealing with anger

Hello, i've not posted here for a while. I'm still waiting for my appointment with the tdoc to try and work out what's wrong wtih me (oh the joy!).

I was just wondering if you had any ideas of how to communicate to a parent that when i fly into one of my rages, its not something i can control or mean to do. At the moment all my mum does is have a go at me and tell me stop acting like a child. Then when I hurt myself (I punched a wall at an odd angle this morning and appear to have messed up my wrist somewhat), she just blames it on me and tells me that she's told me before not to punch things, so she wont help.

I'm just having such problems explaining to her that i cant help my mood swings but she just wont listen and starts crying whenever i try and talk.

anyway, any suggestions would be welcome please

 
Old 06-01-2007, 05:18 AM   #2
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AussieTam HB User
Re: Dealing with anger

Quote:
Originally Posted by Escapade View Post
Hello, i've not posted here for a while. I'm still waiting for my appointment with the tdoc to try and work out what's wrong wtih me (oh the joy!).

I was just wondering if you had any ideas of how to communicate to a parent that when i fly into one of my rages, its not something i can control or mean to do. At the moment all my mum does is have a go at me and tell me stop acting like a child. Then when I hurt myself (I punched a wall at an odd angle this morning and appear to have messed up my wrist somewhat), she just blames it on me and tells me that she's told me before not to punch things, so she wont help.

I'm just having such problems explaining to her that i cant help my mood swings but she just wont listen and starts crying whenever i try and talk.

anyway, any suggestions would be welcome please
Hi there ... our wonderful bipolar rages can certainly be somewhat trying on our loved ones, I've certainly had my share of them! Firstly, if you are having them at that severity, you should be talking to your pdoc. A stable bipolar shouldn't be having bouts of anger that severe (mine have lessened in intensity since the meds). Secondly, I take it your Mum isn't familiar with bipolar disorder, judging by her reaction? I would strongly suggest getting your hands on as much literature and pamphlets about bipolar that you can. There are a lot of great books and stuff out there aimed at both bipolar folk and their loved ones to help both better understand the illness.

 
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Old 06-01-2007, 06:02 AM   #3
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Escapade HB User
Re: Dealing with anger

Thanks for the reply. No, she's not aware of it really. The only things she knows about it are from watching Stephen Fry's documentary back last year. Thing is, I haven't told her that that's what I've got, because I'm not entirely sure it is...

(Edit for 1st post: I'm waiting to see my *p*doc in July - I see my tdoc once a week, more when necessary). I was diagnosed with bp in April by the pdoc, but then they decided that they weren't sure that's what it was, so I'm going to the senior pdoc for the area for further assessment in July. I've spoken to my tdoc about my anger before, but it's all psychodynamic, so it's trying to find out why I'm angry (the answer to which I dont know), rather than finding ways of controlling it, which (from what I know) I think CBT could help with.

I just don't want to tell my mum that I've got something which I don't, cos shes really stressed as it is cos my parents have just got divorced, and I can't cope with having to try and calm her down when she gets really upset.

 
Old 06-02-2007, 04:56 AM   #4
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yorslady HB User
Re: Dealing with anger

Talk to your Mom, tell her how you are feeling even if you are not 100% sure of the diagnosis. In my case, my Husband is BP, he was just diagnosed a few weeks ago. Knowing the diagnosis is not a cure all but it has explained some things for me and I don't feel quite so lost. It makes it a bit easier to deal with the situation when you know root of it is. It will also give her the opportunity to learn more about what is going on and that will make it easier too. lady

 
Old 06-02-2007, 05:54 AM   #5
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AussieTam HB User
Re: Dealing with anger

Quote:
Originally Posted by yorslady View Post
Talk to your Mom, tell her how you are feeling even if you are not 100% sure of the diagnosis. In my case, my Husband is BP, he was just diagnosed a few weeks ago. Knowing the diagnosis is not a cure all but it has explained some things for me and I don't feel quite so lost. It makes it a bit easier to deal with the situation when you know root of it is. It will also give her the opportunity to learn more about what is going on and that will make it easier too. lady
100% agreed - you should talk to your Mum - waiting on a confirmed diagnosis of bipolar can be VERY stressful too, so you need support from your Mum whether you realise it or not. Also, she needs to understand where you're coming from - she may even be secretly blaiming herself (re. the divorce) for your anger. Communication is key when it comes to dealing with our loved ones.

 
Old 06-02-2007, 11:53 AM   #6
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Escapade HB User
Re: Dealing with anger

Thanks for the advice. I will try to talk to her, it's just very wearing. She's really anti-mental illness, and just says I'm being pathetic and that there's nothing wrong with me or that I'm just acting like a teenager and that it's my own fault and I should snap out of it. Whenever I am upset, she shouts at me for being ungrateful, and just says things like "when are you going to realise that there isn't anything wrong" or "why cant you be happy about ANYthing?"

I find it difficult to talk to her because she spends all her spare time on the phone to her boyfriend, and even when I tell her I need to talk to her about something, she never has the time and so just sortof shoves me out the way.

Have you got any ideas on how I should approach her.

 
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