Need to vent - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

2fast · 06-15-2007, 07:25 PM

Has anyone else done stupid crap like look at their bf's call log on his cell phone? I woke up yesterday morning and looked at it while he was in the bathroom. I didn't find anything, I knew I wouldn't. I just get REALLY paranoid sometimes and do stupid crap like that and then less than a second later I regret it. He's been pretty p'd off at me the last 2 days. He stayed at his parent's house last night. I just wish he could be inside my head. He doesn't understand and doesn't deal with it very well. He's told me that he really believes I have a "chemical imbalance" and that I don't do all the stupid crap on purpose, but then he'll tell me just act normal. I HATE it, probably more than he does.

emeraldeyes114 · 06-15-2007, 07:53 PM

2fast,

I can relate my husband and I have been married ten years now. He has issues with lying about stuff though it most of the time is small. After we first got the net recently I was looking for a pict I had misplaced. So I did a search and I didn't find the pict but I found some other stuff. So yeah I am constantly doing that checking when he isn't around. He isn't luckily too comp smart now so he has no idea I have done it. And yeap I end up feeling so guilty for doing it. So it has slowed down and finally stopped. I figured it was not the best way to build trust for either of us.

I wish my hubby could be me for a day or so. I am sure his outlook on some things would change greatly for the good and some for the bad. But since that wont happen I do the best I can do.

Eme

2fast · 06-15-2007, 08:01 PM

Eme,
I actually do A LOT more than just look at his phone calls, I go so far as to look at ALL THE PHONE CALLS MADE AND RECIEVED on the phone bill! I create scenarios in my head (the stupid racing thoughts) and react crazily even knowing deep down, they're not true. I think I'm going to change my cell phone bill from detailed billing to not. It's the only way to control myself. I can push things like that back and say I'm never doing it again, then like a crazed freak I do it anyway. He calls me "super sleuth", I think he's right. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention checking the cookies on the computer to see everything he's looked up online. I have been good about that, it's been a long time since I've done that one. All these things are stupid because I end up upsetting myself over nothing!

emeraldeyes114 · 06-15-2007, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2fast

Eme,
I actually do A LOT more than just look at his phone calls, I go so far as to look at ALL THE PHONE CALLS MADE AND RECIEVED on the phone bill! I create scenarios in my head (the stupid racing thoughts) and react crazily even knowing deep down, they're not true. I think I'm going to change my cell phone bill from detailed billing to not. It's the only way to control myself. I can push things like that back and say I'm never doing it again, then like a crazed freak I do it anyway. He calls me "super sleuth", I think he's right. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention checking the cookies on the computer to see everything he's looked up online. I have been good about that, it's been a long time since I've done that one. All these things are stupid because I end up upsetting myself over nothing!

2fast,

I do check the cookies and a few other things including emails. I luckily have been doing better about it but I still feel guilty as sin too. Luckily we don't get an itemized phone bill and we don't have a cell phone either. So that is a huge relief for me. lol Or else I would be a lot worse off. Yeap I know I am too really just upsetting myself over silly stuff then the mind kicks in with the what if scenario. I don't need anyone else to help drive me crazy

I do it all by myself.

Eme

2fast · 06-16-2007, 06:46 AM

Eme,

It makes me feel better that Im not the only one who does these silly things

. Not that it makes it ok, but, you know what I mean. Thank you.

2fast