Malissa8

Hey everyone, very sweet of you to ask. As Marsh said I had been posting updates in "more harm than good". I had sent Kevin a really sweet card, and that set him off. Saturday night he let me have it. He said he hadn't wanted to be "mean" to me, but he was gonna have to. He said he has "struggled" with me for 3 years and that has left him empty. He made fun of my "theories" that this complete change in him had anything to do with bi-polar, and he said "obviously we can't be friends".... All of that is bad enough if it made any sense at all. But in all honesty everyone, I'll admit when things are bumpy and stuff, but if you could have known the Kevin I have for 3 years, you would see why this person is like a total stranger. He calls it struggling ? He was so full of love and happiness for those 3 years, he told me time and time again how we finally found our soul-mate. That I was the first person who accepted that he had BP and was willing to love him anyway. We never even had a fight before he ended it. Everything was great, and we were at the point of taking things to another level. Now he has made me feel like a complete fool for even thinking it may be the BP, heck I don't know. He has BP, he changed his own meds, he had triggers before this, BP is a mood disorder right? Is it so crazy for me to think it has something to do with his BP, seeing how he changed completely in just a matter of days or weeks? So yeah, I'm not doing very well at all. I just cry alot right now, I try to sleep but even that is hard when I wake up, it hits me all over again.

Thanks for asking guys. It meant alot to see this thread when I came on, I guess I have no place here now, but it gives me strength and helps me understand a few things about Kevin that I had trouble with. Even though "it isn't the BP" according to him.