bpd_bipolar

Well.........I have BPD n Bipolar and you just gave me a read about myself. The BPD exaggerates everything emotional. I have had it since I was 12 and I am 32 now. I have finally found a great psych doc and been seeing him since '99. There is so much fun that goes with this wonderful disorder we have (not mean sarcasm here, want to make you grin a bit)..............I mean come on, we have our hypersexuality. that can't be a bad thing, right?? lol. Anyhow, I can hear ya screaming and I understand this ALL TO WELL. I am on Trileptal (900mg., 2x's a day), which is a mood stabilzer, I am on a new med, just started on the 2nd of July here, Keppra (500mg., 1 pill, 2x's a day) which is a technical anti-seizure, but is used for stabilizing mood as well, not sure how I like this yet, but to soon to tell as I am coming off of Topamax (300mg.). That gave me some horrid mood swings (the boyfriend hated that med for me even though it is a great weight loss thing, it also eats your memory)..........I take valium (10mg., no more than 3 a day) for anxiety, I take seroqueol (25mg., if I am having a lot of trouble, then 50mg.) n ambien (10mg.) to sleep, then there are the tiny things thrown in like the thyroid pill n the pain pills for the back n the cholesterol pill.............(yup, a walking pharmacy).

So, upon that all, I have the loving boyfriend who is ADHD n Bipolar. See, I have the best of both worlds as I get to live with it and deal with it at the same time, so I can see what it feels like to deal and handle a bipolar with the mood swings (a taste of my own medicine I call it......my ex-husband seemed like a saint as he put up with me n I could never figure why he did now I look back).........plus that ADHD, I think I can say I could do without that silly disease ever existing in my life as I hate it just as much as the b/f does. Anyhow, he takes 1200mg. trileptal (2 pills at once, they come in 600mg.) 1 time a day and topamax, plus abilify (25mg.) for good measure.......again throw in the trigycleride, nexium, cholesterol, back pain......pills n we have ourselves another person who is well taken care of here.

We do not abuse our meds, we are definitely as prescribed, but me, from being a kid way back when, I used to just wish that sometimes I could go back to then and be diagnosed correctly, you know???????? I was on anger meds, lots of Valium and then lithium was the all the rage, it didn't work, then these quacks I was tossed to throughout my experiences who gave me a bunch of other cocktails, then I met my doc, then started trying me out on the newer meds n we found out I was allergic to the SSRI's......ierozac, Lamictal, Zoloft (all the same properties in them),so doc n I got lucky with these that are hopefully the final cut.

Point of all the rambling: Some times it takes a while. For everything. As in relationships.......I can attest to the fact that No one will ever be good enough for me. They can be perfect. They can be be under my mind control, there would still be a flaw. It is the DISEASE NOT US. We have to learn how to except this and move on with coping, using skills and I will be more than happy to share some skills with you if you respond to this post and your eyes are not bleeding. {Smile}.

Good luck with things, hope to hear back and I really hope I didn't shove to much info in your brain as I do that to people without doing it on purpose. Heck, look at my screen name.