Okay, my friends....I have more to share with you. As you all know, Kait's evaluation is quickly approaching and the good Lord must KNOW that there is no time to waste. I have been keeping some tabs on Erin via her text messages and today I grabbed what I thought was her phone and read a text saying....."________, don't forget to bring the Adderall!!" I immediately realized that it was Kait's phone (they have the same phones only Kait doesn't usually leave hers lying around). I started shaking.....there is no doubt in my mind now that Kait is going to the pdoc hoping to obtain a perscription for Adderall. She had friends coming to visit who arrived yesterday, one of which is the one she had texted.
So what do I do??? I have some thoughts and would like to see if they correlate with any you may have.
I feel that this was a blessing in disguise even though it is something I am so very scared to deal with.
I await your thoughts knowing that they will help me in doing what is best for Kait.
This is a new one for me, honestly when I read yours and Tsohl's and Hope's and everyone else's posts who have children and are dealing with this, my heart really goes out to you. I can't imagine having to worry about my child the way I worry about my husband! I'm sure all of us who are parents biggest fear is for something to happen to our child, or for our child to be ill.
I think you answered some of your own question...pray for direction and strength to deal with what lies ahead with Kait. The Good Lord will give it to you, just as he is giving it to all of us to deal with our own individual situations! Others I'm sure will have much more advice coming your way...
You have been so good for me, I wish I had some help for you....can you intervene with the pdoc and give him/her a heads up? I know there is that patient/cllient privilege and fortunately Sara has never rescinded mine with her pdoc so he openly talks about her with me (thanks goodness!!) but Adderal abuse is serious and you may be saving some other kids' llife.
Our little BP kids are soooo manipulative, you'd think their pdocs wouldn't be so easily snowed by them, but they are, aren't they?? Over and over!! I am amazed, really. I know that talking with Kait would be pointless (I've read a lot of your other posts) ...so I will just say an extra prayer for you today. Maybe her pdoc will not give her any. ONe can only hope!
Thanks 4 for your support....I sooo appreciate it.
Tsohl ~ I am not a sleuth....I don't make a habit of searching everything where my daughters are concerned but only when I have a strong suspicion that something is up. Erin has been calling saying that her manager wants her to work an extra hour at McDonalds. "Al" goes to visit her on breaks and I just want to make sure that she is not leaving McDonalds and going off with him. So last night she called for the second time saying that she was staying on another hour. So this morning I went to check her cell phone and came upon Kait's text message instead. I consider this "Divine Intervention" when something like this happens....I was on the fence as far as Kait's motives here....did she really want help or was she manipulating the situation in order to meet one of her needs??? I was feeling scared because I didn't want to do the wrong thing and bring Kait into the pdoc if it was going to facilitate something dangerous. Thing is I know that Kait can go about getting the Adderall by making her own appointment with another pdoc so I have to be careful. I want Kait to get help....something is up whether it be BP, ADD, drug abuse or a combo of these. I need to figure out how to get her the help without backing her into a corner.
So I thought that I would put a call into the pdoc to discuss my concerns with him so he has a foundation in order to build upon while diagnosing Kait. She is signing a release for me to be able to be a part of her diagnosis and treatment and I am afraid if I confront her that she will deny me that. So I still have my concerns and would like to help her but know all too well that helping Kait will not happen unless she really wants the help. Right now I think that she is in it more to get her hands on the meds. IF he sees that perhaps she is self-medicating and also has symptoms of ADD then perhaps he will perscribe the Strattera to see if it helps. But if he KNOWS that there is a potential to abuse he may not even medicate her. But I need to inform him of my findings and then see what he comes up with. That is my plan.
So those are my thoughts....I don't want to disclose my knowledge of this to Kait....I will disclose when talking to the pdoc my concerns of Kait's drinking and use of weed and how he should take the into consideration when perscribing for Kait just as I was intending on doing all along....this is no secret between Kait and I that I know that I have my concerns regarding her partying so it wouldn't look suspicious when I bring this up.
So....that is my plan. Kait's friends are here and they all appear to be very nice. Is this stuff the trend and something that I shoudn't worry about??? I have no idea.
I did some research and they say that Adderall abuse is on the high with college kids. It also says that the side effects of Adderall abuse include marked aggression and irritability, hyperactivity, and personality changes.
Abruptly stopping Adderall after prolonged high dosage Adderall abuse results in extreme fatigue and mental depression. The most severe, though rare, Adderall side effects of Adderall abuse is psychosis. This Adderall abuse side effect is often clinically indistinguishable from schizophrenia.
Long-term amphetamine use has also been linked to abnormalities in brain development, similar to those found with long-term cocaine use.
Adderall, Tsohl, is an amphetamine aka as speed. That is why I am extremely concerned.
Are you planning on telling the pdoc about this message you found or just about the use of weed and alcohol? I wasn't sure from your post.
I think your plan is a good one. There is no point in telling Kait.
And, no, even if some kids are using these kinds of drugs, there is no reason to look the other way. Any of these drugs have the potential for addiction; she already smokes and parties more than is probably good for her. I would be very concerned that she feels like she needs this sort of thing for a pick-me-up so she can get through her busy schedule.
This sort of behavior just feeds on itself. The more activity you have, the more you crave it, and the more you keep doing things to make it possible to stay up longer and have more energy. It is a vicious cycle that leads to abuse.
When is the appointment?? How long are the friends staying?
It sounds like you are doing everything right. I would absolutely not confront Kait right now because she will cut you off. There are other meds the pdoc can prescribe other than Adderall. Zac takes Concerta and the pdoc told us it does not have the same addicitive qualities as Adderall.
The bigger question is - how extensive is Kait's drug use? As you know from your BP experience, substance abuse will mask or exaceberate any other symptoms.
Tsohl....thanks for your patience...I am just thinking outloud here and jotting things down.
I plan on telling the pdoc about my overall concerns before he meets with her....I will give him a short concise version of her use of Stackers with Ephedra (diet pills with a stimulant) at the age of 14, to progressive use of alcohol and weed . I intend on telling him this BEFORE he meets with Kait. When the time comes for us all to meet at her evaluation I will disclose my concerns as I naturally would have when he asks for my input and observations of what has been happening with Kait. Of course I don't know exactly what she uses, how much she uses and how often....that is so difficult to monitor being that she is away at school 10 months a year. I did come across some pictures on her camera of her passed out in bathtubs, closets, hallways....enough to concern me that she is partying more than I would like her to be....what can I do when she is away at college and 18....there is very little I can do unless she is living with me and even then I still seem to have very little control over her. I am scared and feel like a deer caught in the headlights here.....I need to tread softly here so that I don't lose the opportunity to be in the loop so that I can help her.
Thanks, Hope for popping in.....I agree, the pdoc can perscribe other things that I wouldn't worry about as much and I would be interested to see how Kait will respond to that....my instinct tells me that if she is really looking to get her hands on Adderall that she won't be too pleased with his perscribing something that she KNOWS won't supply her needs....and then again, if she really wants help her taking something as perscribed may very well help her. I have a feeling that if we play our cards right (me keeping tongue in cheek ) that we will soon discover exactly what Kait's motives are.
What I NEED to make the pdoc aware of is how concerned and scared I am about what is going on with Kait and plead with him to help me find out. The thing is her going back to college in another 6 weeks is going to throw a monkey in the wrench!!
Again I am talking outloud here and appreciate your hearing me out. I am not excusing what Kait is doing or choosing to look the other way but what can I do to help her??? How can I if she is away at college??? And even if I kept her here, how much will I be able to help her??? Her being 18 and her fighting me all the way....the only way I see Kait being helped is if she is totally honest with herself, her parents and this pdoc and I don't really see that happening here....do you???
Oh this is a nightmare....I am okay but I don't even know where to begin to get Kait the help that she needs.
Any and all ideas and suggestions will be appreciated.
Love ~ Goody
Last edited by goody2shuz; 07-18-2007 at 12:07 PM.
I just wrote and lost a post to you -- had a lot of things open and clicked right past it. Ok, I'll try again, but it won't be nearly as good.
I think your plan sounds good. Hopefully the pdoc will understand the extent of the potential for abuse and will help you out here!
I think you are doing what you can. Even having her living at home this summer, you don't really know what she's doing. You've seen a few clues which were scary -- the treasure hunt, the text message, etc. Kait seems to be the kind of kid who will find a way to carry out her plans regardless of what you do.
The problem is that if Kait has bipolar tendencies and/or is using drugs, the behavior usually becomes more risky as time goes on...or the drug use escalates.
I'm way out of my league here, but I do think the pdoc should spend a fair amount of time reminding Kait that, just as being 18 gives her some new rights and freedoms, so do the associated penalites become much more severe. She is behaving like an out-of-control teenager, but in the eyes of the law, she is an adult and I think (but I could be completely wrong!) that there's a part of Kait that needs to be scared straight!
You are doing everything humanly possible to support her and give her the help she needs and she probably does have ADHD. But, if she is only going to use the diagnosis to manipulate and control, no one wins - most of all her!
Keep us posted and let us know what we can do to help you, Goody. As parents there is only so much any of us can do, but Kait needs to see that her wildness and defiance eventually is going to obliterate the good in her and all that she has going for her. There are so many wonderful attributes about Kait and she has gotten much positive recognition for them, but there is something driving her that is dangerous and she needs to figure that out before it hurts her.
Goody goody goody, will somebody please shoot us! Did you go on the addiction board? there is a thread going on there.
Kait is trying to bamboozle you and the doc..Listen, this is exactly what i would do..i have spoken to docs over the phone and they woudnt give me a 2nd thought beacause of HIPA crap. some will , others wont...I would either fax the doc a letter or leave a messege on his answering machine..so he can hear what you have to say without giving you any input at all about her..thats breaking the law..get it? he will listen and hopefully he will do the right thing by kait and not give her that crap if she doesnt need it. Do not let her know you are on to her..she is playing you, play her right back!
2 weeks ago i took my 18 yr old to doc and passed the nurse a note for the doc to talk to her about birth control..i have tried and my daughter is not comfortable asking me for the pill. anyway, it worked out great..doc spoke to her and put her on the pill and told her to talk to me about it...We did finally...i mean thats just an example of what im talking about..but you get it...
I feel for you, it is awful when your children are sneaky. i have been there
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I know you do not want to hear this, but I am concerned that Kait's drug use may be more extensive than you think. There is so much out there already that going to all the trouble to have you schedule an appointment to get these drugs seems pretty extreme. I think the combination of her past drug use, her need to be out and party all the time, the pictures you have found and this text message all point to the possibility of a more severe problem. I'm not sure how accurate a picture the pdoc will be able to get if she is partying almost daily.
I do think you should alert the pdoc to your concerns and then get his input. Although Kait is legally an adult, you are still supporting her so you still have a lot more input and clout with her. I know she is living in your house and you are helping her with school. Is she driving your car? We had similiar problems with our middle daughter and I can tell you from experince that she fooled us for a very long time and her problems were more serious than we originally thought.
One concern would be that even is she is given the correct dx and medication, you will have no way of knowing how effective it would be if she is abusing drugs and alcohol. It would be tempting to drug test her while her freinds are here, but I guess there is really no need since you know from the text that she would be positive if given the opportunity.
Oh Goody, I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I know you will do your best to help her but she will have to want to help herself also.
I plan on telling the pdoc about my overall concerns before he meets with her....I will give him a short concise version of her use of Stackers with Ephedra (diet pills with a stimulant) at the age of 14, to progressive use of alcohol and weed .
Love ~ Goody
Well, that sounds like a self medicating bipolar to me. This was exactly my husbands "cocktail" pre Lithium. She may or may not have ADD as well but the Dr needs to know. It would be dangerous to her heart and health if you didn't inform the him. Lithium and some other antidepressants help focus and concentration as well. I would explain to her that she clearly does not feel well and that is why she is self medicating and that maybe the Dr can help her to feel better so she doesn't crave self medicating.
Yes lucky that was the case with my son..once he started feeling better on his meds, and went thru the re-hab, all the drugs stopped..he says he has no desire at all for them now. although, i think he shoudnt drink the occasional beers, he still does. Oh its hard, i cant make him perfect.