newly diagnosed bipolar manic type persona - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

Thefaint423 · 07-29-2007, 04:23 PM

i've been recently diagnosed a manic type bipolar, apparently they think i'm manic now, onlu thing i can really tell it's very hard for me to get to sleep unless i take 10 mg valium, non prescribed, got them off the internet. anyways i swear god sometimes i think am sociopathic. there are very few things i have ever been remorseful, the thing i guess i can say at for now is that i don't think i have something called fear, and well i'm not saying remorseful about everything my mom has alzheimzers and it makes me sad, but all the bad things i've done to her. Believe me i have done enough bad things never pop up in my head when i get depressed about her. I wouldn't really say i can just kill a dog and not be remorseful but, whatever i feel like doing, i never get remorseful at all. Somebody please respond to me about this. i know that some people might say just because i'm saying this it means i'm not. But richard kulunski (big time hitman) said he wasn't proud of the things he did. It's just when he said he was sorry it was probably different from waht most people meant. BTW i had a horrible childhood growing up. one more thing i'd like to know if any of you people replying ever went through the same questioning i did, at least for extended periods of time. questioning whether or not they are sociopathic or something.

marshmallow · 07-29-2007, 07:25 PM

I don't have any idea of an answer but just wanted you to know someone has read your post. I know there are many that can probably give you a better answer than I am.

Angie92283 · 07-30-2007, 01:34 PM

I was also diagnosed recently with bipolar disorder after claiming that it was like I didn't have a concience at some points. I cheated on my boyfriend and was horribly mean to my family and didn't feel bad at all. But there were also other times where I felt like I was a horrible person and didn't deserve to live anymore. Do you go through these types of phases? If you haven't ever felt remorse at any point in your life you may have antisocial personality disorder that a lot of criminals have. Not antisocial in the sense that you don't talk to people, but in the sense you don't trust anyone, and its almost like an emotional void. All you have to do is search for it on the internet and see if it sounds like you.

jendg28 · 07-30-2007, 01:55 PM

I know exactly how you feel. I have bipolar 1 and I have felt the same way in the past. Fortunately, I have been stable for over a year now. What you were describing sounds like typical Bipolar cycling. WHen you cheated on your boyfriend, and were mean to your family, you were probably manic. Have you had times of depression?

I have often wondered about being antisocial as well. I have wondered about a LOT of things. When I'm manic, my mind goes everywhere and I become almost hypochondriac.

When I'm manic, I don't fear anything either. I believe your symptoms are very popular for someone who's manic. Have you told your doctor everything you posted here? It's very important to tell your doctor everything if you want to be properly diagnosed. If you are not comfortable telling your doctor everything, try writing it down and giving him/her the paper. That helped me. It was better when I didn't have to actually say it out loud.

Thefaint423 · 07-30-2007, 07:46 PM

thank you very much all, i'm 17 by the way, so it's very confusing. I feel absolutely no emotion at times and i feel almost like i can walk up to a 12 year old girl and kill her and feel nothing at all, i wouldn't know if i am manic or not, doctors think i am, but i am guessing i am based on intelluect i am, i was prescribed ambien today... I also got pulled over by police for screaming at parents threatening to hit them with a baseball bat, i feel no remorse for it... I feel empty and everything. If u ask me i think i am thinking to much... i dunno if it's possible to be depressed when im manic but i feel depressed thinking about this. i've felt remorseful for things in the past... 6 months now i really dunno...