Why does talking not help and what should a psychiatrist do?
In a previous thread I described a fairly recent diagnosis of Bi-Polar and its effects on me. In particular an incident of Mania with depression triggered by stopping medication and a susequent episode of over-reaction because of a situation between my wife and a work colleague which I felt (still feel) was inappropriate.
My wife left me - well I was highly abusive and violent in shoving her through the front door. Thankfully she has returned after a week away and for a few days we were comfortable together. We talked about the things that we would do help spot triggers in the future. Although these were never actually started - mistake I know.
In the last couple of days I have returned to the manic state. I am taking medication, I am trying to talk about how I feel. The problem is that whenever I start to tell her that I feel depressed, unwanted, I want her to show me affection and show how she loves me. I know its hard for her to show this because of the hurt I caused her. But this only leads me towards the anger and manic behaviour again. This is a vicious circle. I want to talk, I need to talk but when I do it simply makes matters worse for me. I don't want to be manic - I'm severely depressed at the moment. Struggling to even get out of bed every day. I have an appointment with the psychiatrist tomorrow but she's been asking me to bring it forward. She called him yesterday and he tried calling me but I missed his call until too late. I know this shows she cares, but in my totally warped mind I'm now embarrassed by this. In a fit of sanity I've invited her along to tomorrows session - though I think she'll be surprised how little he really does other than talk to me and tell me that this is really just a symptom of bi-polar that may be helped by changing medication.
What expreience should I be expecting from the psychiatrist? Why does talking degenerate into a feeling of being unwanted when clearly that's not the case. Even now, I sit here before going to work. She's left for work already and I'm suffering anxiety.
Sorry for babbling on.. I guess this board is really strange because I read threads that are all similar to mine, yet I feel more content after venting. I have only this week confided in a few close friends about my condition. They are very supportive but I don't feel like burdening them with my daily / hourly problems. Yes things can change in minutes during this episode.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.