how do I act - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

beaupete · 09-13-2007, 10:17 AM

My fiance has mood swings. Happy or depressed. She don't even talk when depressed. How do I responde?

She also has anxiety attacks.

beaupete · 09-18-2007, 07:47 PM

Thank you mudhound. I care very much for her. It hurts me when she hurts. Somedays I don't think she cares for me but she does ask me to bear with her. God Bless You Too!

goody2shuz · 09-18-2007, 07:54 PM

Alot of times this is something that has to be worked out on her own. Give her time and space but let her know that you love her and that you are there for her no matter what. Alot of times they are unable to worry about how this affects you in addition to how it is affecting them and that is a heavy burden to bear.

Give her hope by telling her that you know that things will get better and that it won't be this way forever. And then give her space....eventually she will ride it out and feel so much better knowing that you are still there.

She is lucky to have somebody who wants to help out like you do. I am sure that she allready knows that.

~ Goody

beaupete · 09-21-2007, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goody2shuz

Alot of times this is something that has to be worked out on her own. Give her time and space but let her know that you love her and that you are there for her no matter what. Alot of times they are unable to worry about how this affects you in addition to how it is affecting them and that is a heavy burden to bear.

Give her hope by telling her that you know that things will get better and that it won't be this way forever. And then give her space....eventually she will ride it out and feel so much better knowing that you are still there.

She is lucky to have somebody who wants to help out like you do. I am sure that she allready knows that.

~ Goody

Thank You, She has asked me to bear with her and that she needs me to be there for her.

arvc · 09-22-2007, 06:36 PM

I think it is great that you want to help her out! She needs you to be understanding and patient. Not enough people want to be patient. I admire you for seeking help and advice. Please understand this also, you need to stay her fiance for a long time before you get married. You need to fully understand and realise what life can be like with a bipolar person. There will be good days and there will be bad ones most likely maybe even good weeks and bad weeks. I was married to a bipolar and I could never love enough, understand enough, try hard enough, be there enough, be patient enough to help him through it. The first few years were okay then the the next 10 not good, 3 kids later did not make it all better. With that said understand that I have a teen son who is bipolar and I love him with all my heart and would die for him, but I can never love and understand him enough to change him either. It is difficult to watch the child I gave birth to be distant, unloving, and difficult at times. I just thought I would say that so you would know that my attitude with my ex is not just because he's not blood related. My son is my world and it hurts 10x worse with him and to see him feel lonely and isolated no matter how hard I try. Please, love her with all your heart and be patient, but don't rush into marraige until you know for sure you can handle it for a life time. I hope this makes sense and doesn't seem cold. I think everyone on this site has a great heart when giving advice and mean well, but reality is reality and love will never change someone with bipolar if it had I would still be married and my son would be cured. Take it slow and know that what you see now is probably what you will always see!