Why Be Normal - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

waftam · 09-14-2007, 08:18 AM

Why should people with BP be looked at as weird? Why should we have to take mood stabilisers if our manic episodes cause no harm?

I stopped taking the Epilum 7 days ago because I finally worked out that the never ending flu I had was from that. I feel great. My friends and Hubby all say I look and sound so much better the last 4 days. Depression is under control with the Zoloft. I can however feel the mania twitching. Takes focus to keep it under control, but why should I? I enjoy the highs, the work that gets done, the brilliant ideas, the speed to learn new things. I don't hurt any one or myself when up. Don't like the shakes much but can't have everthing. I didn't like the way Epilum slowed me down to a crawl and dulled my thinking back to a 2 year old stage.

The Doc was not happy. Can understand though. Have just been prescibed Zyprexa 10 mg. I really don't want to be taking these.

I reckon norms should be given pills so they can at least try to keep up.

Paige1989 · 09-14-2007, 09:17 AM

Uhhh....the only problem with not taking mood stabilisers is that the mania generally becomes worse and it won't just the hypomania you just described - it can get violent or seriously impend your judgement if full-blown mania hits. Especially if you're on antidepressants - that usually increases the odds of mania. I'd advise taking mood stabilisers. Just because Epilium didn't work doesn't mean that no med would work. It's trial and error...My advice is to give it a shot. Just speaking from experience and from what I've read...

~~Paige

JasonFMX · 09-14-2007, 10:19 AM

your post is the exact stereotype that is written about when describing people with mania. while in a manic phase you cant convince the patient they need treatment. like she just said, the mania gets worse, espeically when on an antidepressant. I cant believe your doc gives you that without a a stabilizer, he/she should of just said if your not going to take proper treatment then I can't treat you at all, because thats medically unethical

waftam · 09-15-2007, 05:36 AM

The first Doc i went to threatened me several times with Commitment when I told him what the Epilum was doing and I wanted to stop. He never really listened. The last time he made the threat was the last time I saw him. Had to find a new Doc for scripts as I was nearly out. This one actually listened an more importantly heard what I was saying. She understood why I stopped but should of talked about it before I did. The epilum did not control the moods, if anything made them worse. Turned me into a rapid cycler with no brain or feelings. The ups and downs were very short, maybe an hour long with the majority of time spent vacant. The paranoia was ever present and getting real bad.That is no way to live and I can't earn a living that way. The only way to be sure it was the drug was to stop it.

Started the Zyprexa last night. Feel a definate "slowness"? today. I feel calm, not drugged to the gills as before. My heatbeat is not pounding in my ears or trying to leap out my chest as before. My mind is quiet. This I can handle. But, if I end up as before then these I will stop taking these to.

waftam · 09-19-2007, 08:26 AM

It has been almost a week since starting the Zyprexa. I realized today that the noise of my heart pounding in my ears constantly for the past 3 odd years may not be normal. I still get the ocasional "Hyper" a few times a day. Last no more than an hour and always comes with the shakes. It is controlable.

It is quiet in my head. I have always had "Voices?" and constant noise in my mind. It's very strange not to have any sound there. It feels almost peacefull. It's very strange.

The Epilum had given me the most annoying twitching which has gone now.

My energy levels are back to where they were before. I can think again. I feel more like my old self. Even want to get back into the hobbies and sports I was doing before. But, is it the drugs or have I just leveled as part of some cycle? This happened straight after I started the Epilum, lasted a week or so (even the flu never really slowed me down) then got dumped again. Didn't even know it till after I had cleaned the mess up.