Hi Jaybee....as you know I have two daughter's with BP and it is probably a little easier to get them the help that they need than it is for you to do for your adult brother. But I am sure that you are just as concerned about him and wanting him to do something about it.
I don't have the same experience but do know how seeing a loved one struggling and not accepting the help that they need is so draining and emotionally exhausting. I do have two brother in laws in their late 40's who have been in and out of jail and rehab all of their lives. One is in jail again and the other is living homeless in Florida....it has taken it's toll on my inlaws as well as my husband but they have come to the realization that there is really nothing you can do for somebody who doesn't want the help. And I see that is where your brother is at.
IT's called tough love....your brother has a better chance of getting help if you take the cushion out from under him and allow him the chance to hit rock bottom. He has to be able to get to the point of picking himself back up and seeking out the help that he needs. Meanwhile, you need to take care of yourself. The time will come for him to realize he needs help and if not it isn't your fault. If he gets to the point that he is a danger to himself or others you can call the authorities who will have him involuntarily hospitalized....with that there may be a chance for him to get the help that he needs.
It breaks my heart to see my brother in laws struggling through life with nothing really to show for it. Since my daughter's have been diagnosed I am convinced that my brother in laws have BP that went untreated and unfortunately they have self medicated and are most likely beyond being helped. My youngest daughter wants to talk to them about her BP and see if she can convince them to get evaluated and treated. But first we must find out where they are and I am wondering if it would be a good thing for her to do since she may not take it well if they refuse the help that they need.
Anyway....basically how things go is really up to your brother. You can only do so much before a drowning person will take you down with them. You must save yourself and not allow that to happen.
Keep on posting....and when your brother finally starts talking to you again tell him that you love him and that he can get better but he has to want that for himself. And that when he does you will be there to help him get it.
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody