Trying to learn all i can about this BP stuff! - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

teresa2007 · 10-25-2007, 01:17 PM

Im trying to figure out if its BP or if its just ME
I can be okay for awhile get involved in things, kids activities, church, even working and then i can go for quite sometime and not want to do anything or be around people.
Now, i have read a few of posts that sounds like Bp but does it last for awhile it seem like im down more then im up and i was just wondering if there was anyone out there that was like this and if they are, do they work a job and how do they do it? I want to get a job but i cant seem to stay stable or consistant

tony72 · 10-25-2007, 01:29 PM

Theresa,

That is me to a T. I used to get exactly that way. I thought it was normal. I never had any extreme symptoms, but I had all the mild ones.

My husband called it the Black or White symptoms - All or nothing type activities.

I was an engineer and when I was up - I couldn't be beat, I'd pull all the extremely creative solutions and WoW everyone. When I was down, I could barely get emails answered. I was "sick" alot. After one of my up seasons (which varied in duration) I would just shut down. I didn't want to talk to anyone, go anywhere, do ANYthing except sleep and be in my bed.

Somewhere in the middle of my ups and my downs, I was a real grump- yelling, unhappy for no reason, just really irritated and angry inside.

Example during up times: I would throw myself into ANY activitie that excited me at the time - ignore every responsiblity and person other than my "mission".

During this entire time I was being treated for depression, but not diagnosed as BP. Now that I have been placed on a mood stabilizer - I see the difference coming around the corner.

I really hope this helps...sounds just like what I experienced.

BTW, I would also overcommit during my up times. I'd volunteer for everything at Church only to feel guilty when I came down -- letting everyone down. I can look back years and see where I've done these similar things.

Tea

teresa2007 · 10-25-2007, 04:41 PM

Hey Tony,
Man that sound just like me! In the up times i will throw myself into something that excites me like im on a mission and ignore everything around me, im real bad at that

And in this last 4 to 6 months ive finally realized that i cant volunteer for anything b/c i let people down, its so dishearting.
Its really hard to function in everyday life but whats worse is trying to explain why i cant be involved in things and i have triggers so sometimes i feel like i just cannot do anything, does proper medication solve these problems or do you still have to deal with them? Tee

bio_tribe · 10-25-2007, 06:11 PM

When you felt like not talking to anyone for a while, would that switch back on it’s own? Were there any “normal” feeling periods in between your mood shifts? As you guys have probably read, that’s what my friend is doing now and I’m trying to figure out how he feels.

teresa2007 · 10-25-2007, 06:24 PM

Hey Bio,
Yes, for me i would eventually be okay. Sometimes i will go 2 weeks where i dont want to be around anyone then for like a month i will seem to be "normal then it seems like i get a real high before i go down again then ill be normal for a little while then up again so on and so forth.
Then in the mist of all those cycles i hit a trigger and boom i get a rage

I hope that makes sense

But yes for me it seems to switch on its own Tee