Senior Veteran (female)
Join Date: Feb 2006
Re: Still fighting to get treatment 46yrs and counting
hi-46 yrs!!! thats a loooong time! im sorry its been so long, its been 6 years for me and im already exhausted!
your story sparks a lot of anger in me, the pety stupidity of some people seems familiar. i live inthe UK and its safe to say that although there are a lot of good, decnt well meaning and competant mental health proffessinals i have met very few of them. in short the system sucks big time. help is extremley hard to get most of the time, it seems that if yo do not have clear cut straigtforward depression that can be lifted with a pill you try the first time and then your on your merry way then you are in for a big battle to get anywhere.it angers me that people most vunerbale have so much of a struggle, it is hard enough to live with an llness of this sort without having to argue and manage yor way to getting to see someone or getting listened to.
being sent to the wrong venue does not surprise me in the slightest, it i horrible to wait so long, be so nervous and feeling like the quality of your life or your life in general depends on it and then some idiot to just stroll out and tel you 'whoops your not meant to be here, oh well thats life' and then keep you hanging on longer like its nothing. for my first assessment, it was meant to be confidential, i was keeping it from my parents and still am, however, i told them several times and my GP also told them my refferal letter was to be sent to the healthcentre-not my home address were my parents live. did that happen-NO. it took months, even my GP rang several times to ask were my letter was. then one day she rang and found out that infact they discovered all of a suden after having had my address for some time that i was infact just outide their catchment area. i was then passed through 3 different hospitals were in the end they sent the letter to my home address not were i asked. it then left me having to explain to my mother who burst through my door waving a letter in my face saying i had a hospital refferal and demanding to know why(that was not easy to get around!).
i went, not once but 3 times, each time was useless. i found just like that you found-that it was life, that i was just being a moody teenager. not even my GP at times could understand how they came to the conclusion i was ok with a 4 yar history of self harm among other things that they reffered to as 'controlled'(suddenly that makes it ok), severe depression, emotional explosions and suicidal thoughts most days, i was failing school and had to quit my job but apprently i was fine. i found they mostly nodded, the first CPN i saw stood up from her chair and practically jumped on me and just demanded in a totally insensitive manner that i show her my harm like it was nothing-despite the fact i had a sexual abuse history on my notes right infront of her.
i went 3 times and seen several different people, some were ok but not what i feel they shouldve been. i ended up leaving with nothing but a post-it with the names of a counselling service for abuse survivors and a suggestion of an eductaional psychologist that my GP did not understand why and i was then never reffered to and here i am about to lave UNI net wek because i cannot do it anymore, its cost ¬£6000 and i have failed unless i freeze my studies and keave it until next year.
this created a lot of problems,not being understood once and having a muck up sets up a whole host of problems in getting further help, things are held up for months and it is incredibly slow.my GP soon gave up and i was taken off meds, told that was life several times, i was put on meds for 2 weeks and then taken off without an explanation as to why, ive had to go through another GP, then back and then to another for something else related and then back to my old one again, the people assessing you really do not realise sometimes the impact their decision will have on treatment-right now i have no treatment again, before i went i had treatment-what does that say about the system. right now, i was reffere for a 4th assessment in october because my GP has seen finally that i have made no improvments and what im saying and what the hospital said does not correlate, it does not make sense that the problems i am havng shoud equal im ok as it says on their notes.
so, i was refferd in october, i was told itd be a few weeks, by the begnning of december my GP ocne again was wondeing were the letter was. i had had to get reffered through my freinds address as its the only way i could be seen by another hospital with a different area code. in december id had no news, then on fine day some woman rang me and asked what my address was(despite my GP had sent it in the original refferal letter sent 2 months prior), i explained i had moved house and gave her my new address within the area code, i gave her this twice as i had to confirm a postcode. she then told me itd be there in a few days. a few days and here i am the middle of january and i have no letter. i went back to my gp 3 weeks after the phone call and she got the reception to call the hospital who said theyd sent it out, if they had my GP would have been notified anyway to say i had not replied by the date i was supposed to make an appointment by that or it was just lost in the post.so for the third time now my address was given to them and said itd be here soon.
then 2 weeks ago i went to my GP as nomral and she tells me i have now been moved hospitals, that my letter should be here soon, im now on my 5th week since i was passed to the different hospital but i should be on the same list and i have nothin then my GP looks and sees it may have either been sent to my freinds house from the last address, but that she 'thinks' its going to my house. my freinds post box is broken and wont open but i fished with my hands and it is not there. i still have no word.
if i was told it would take this long i would not be expecting it, but fact is it should have been here almost 2 months ago and the amount of mucks ups and flying all over the show to be is beyond rediculous. i am one person and its one experince, it scary to think of what other people may go through, those that are completley on the brink, not that days i havent been.
all the while ive been waiting, my counsellor has had to leave and i have non one and because of my last assessments conclusion i will not be given any meds and i think my GP has a hard time taking me seriously even now, ive dropped out of UNI, have lost any loans to pay for my house because of this and ive ended up twice in emergnecy appointments and talked of hospitalisation, harming is just normal now its the only way and my GP takes it as a routine, its just seen as 'what i do' or 'how i do things' now, this past year ive been on drink binges, freaked out on drugs, become suicidal even moreso and have very bad periods were im in big trouble, my counsellor has had to chase up doctors, ive spent days in bed not washed and burnt to 2nd degree burns yet still no one picks up and phone, it took until october for anyon to even suggest another assessment somewhere else, prior to that i was just told that was it. it is very true sdily what you say-you seem to have to kill yourself to get any help!(im not suggesting anyone does that!), my GP even once let slip last year that sometimes sadly that seems to be the way. i cannot even get a reffal letter from the hospital to my house in one go. no it seems for anything to go right it takes at least 3 attempts usually more and the end result ive found every time is RUBBISH so far.
i feel for you, im sorry i have no advice i just wanted you to know that i understand the frustration, it is not right and it should not be so hard, the systm is ubsurd when it coes to things like this and i pity those who dont have the patience or the time to hold out and wait for it. what that woman said to you incredibly patronising and i have had it also-that its life. no it is not life, if it was everyne would be at the hospital and i wouldnt have to much faith in them even then. my best advice is stick to your guns, know that you know yourself better than any of them(my counsellor told me that)and when there is something not right, no one has to live like this and you deserve help, theyre providing service and one in need of a serious revamp but we must work with what weve got. ive found pushing it is the best way to stay sane. i used to sit and wait about worrying over how long itd be, would it come and were it is and all the while i was bouncing off the walls but keeping my mouth shut feeling i didnt want to be a burden, now i give it a period of time and say to myself realistically if i havent received word by that time its time to sort it with my GP and ask for her help on it. fact is your there for help and theyre making it worse by being so incompetant.
like i said there are good proffessionals out there its just finding them. good luck and hope i helped a little .