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bipolar AND OCD? anybody obsess about thoughts?

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Old 03-29-2008, 02:30 PM   #1
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KHW9783 HB User
bipolar AND OCD? anybody obsess about thoughts?

My friend said she finds it interesting because it doesn't make any sense. Maybe that's why I can't let it go...I'm constantly trying to make sense of it in my head and searching for new ways to explain it, as if by explaining it perfectly and finding someone who can understand I will find relief. So here is the obsession:

I can't listen to songs that are performed by male artists, deal with themes that involve men, or are produced by men. I can't read books written by male authors, with male characters, with women characters who think about men. I can't watch movies directed by men, with male characters. I can't watch tv because I obsess about the fact that I am obsessing about the maleness of certain characters. I can't watch cartoons because I obsess about the male voices.

The reason that I can't is because I'm thinking that I can't. I'm thinking that I can't because there was a time when I couldn't (whole other story) and I became worried that I would think that way again. The worrying that I would think that way again became the worry itself that I was worried about having. When I say I can't watch movies with men in them (all movies), I mean that I can't enjoy them. I can't enjoy them because I'm thinking about whether or not I can enjoy them in light of the thoughts about gender. This translates to I can't enjoy anything because everything relates to men in some way.

Even if I could find something that didn't it wouldn't change anything because I would still be worried about why I'm having these thoughts when I don't really have a problem with men. There must be a way to explain this. There must be someone who can understand. There must be a way out. When I look at a book with a man on the cover, I think "I can't enjoy this" and I can't because I am thinking that I can't.

I started thinking the thought "I can't" because there was a time when I couldn't and I worried that if that time repeated itself I wouldn't be able to thus I started having the thought "I can't" because the thoughts themselves fulfilled the prophecy. It seems silly but not being able to enjoy anything and not being able to rest your mind because you're constantly trying to make sense of something that is basically nonsensical is a big deal. When I hear somebody mention a man, as in, "Well, we'll try to get it back to him" my mind spins and I feel alienated because I have "the man thing" when the man thing is itself just worrying about having a man thing. I know this is convoluted, but does anybody relate to my way of thinking at all? I know I am sick..I just don't know where to go for help. Can anybody help me with this?

Oh yeah, and this obsession has completely killed my libido. I guess that would make sense.

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Old 03-31-2008, 06:53 PM   #2
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Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA
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cronuslord1984 HB User
Re: bipolar AND OCD? anybody obsess about thoughts?

It seems to me that this isn't OCD. It seems to me that it's some kind of repressive mental defense mechanism. You said that there was a time that you couldn't, and that there's another story as to the reason why. I'm thinking that the trauma triggered this in the first place, making things bother you on a subliminal level. I think it would be to your benefit to describe what happened to make it so you couldn't handle publications by/of males, because it seems to me that your reason and solution is in that.

Old 05-08-2008, 03:03 PM   #3
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laminarflow HB User
Re: bipolar AND OCD? anybody obsess about thoughts?

(sorry I don't think i gave you good advice originally; as the other members have said professional advice is best)

Last edited by laminarflow; 05-09-2008 at 04:23 PM. Reason: removed my post

Old 05-08-2008, 09:34 PM   #4
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seaturtle HB User
Re: bipolar AND OCD? anybody obsess about thoughts?


Have you been evaluated for OCD- or told a professional exactly what goes on in your mind? I am by no means a professional, but to me it sounds like typical OCD ruminations and endless analysis, an obsessive circle.

It's great that you're aware of it. Whatever it is, I am sorry you're having a rough time of it - is sounds like an enormous amount of constant anxiety.

Keep us posted. There's also an OCD board here, maybe helpful to describe it on there.

Old 05-09-2008, 06:26 AM   #5
Join Date: May 2008
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missflip HB User
Re: bipolar AND OCD? anybody obsess about thoughts?

Hi. I had a similar experience once and I found a great therapist that helped me to work pass it. Of course, I saw several therapists until I found the right one. But she helped me to work it out by re-training my thinking. I am so indebted to her. I don't have any problems with it anymore and that was years ago. Have you tried therapy? I know that it doesn't work for everyone but you could try anyway. You will make it through this!

Old 09-05-2008, 06:14 PM   #6
ange 72
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ange 72 HB User
Re: bipolar AND OCD? anybody obsess about thoughts?

hi I'm always obsessing thoughts in my head over and over to the extent i get bad headaches,cant help analyzing situations and reasons why something has turned out a certain way,wished i could just accept sometimes there just isn't an answer.

ange 72

Old 10-03-2008, 01:13 PM   #7
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vinton33 HB User
Re: bipolar AND OCD? anybody obsess about thoughts?

I also have obsessive thoughts..I figured it was OCD as I have ADHD..

Old 10-05-2008, 01:57 PM   #8
ange 72
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ange 72 HB User
Re: bipolar AND OCD? anybody obsess about thoughts?

Originally Posted by vinton33 View Post
I also have obsessive thoughts..I figured it was OCD as I have ADHD..
hi vinton33. i dont know much about links between ADHD and OCD, but i do suffer at times with obsessive thoughts, these can make me very anxious, at the moment ive got these thoughts going on in my head, about this man i met and had a brief fling with, i cant seem to get this person out of my head, although i really try hard to, i find this a bit freaky at times, as ive got other people in my life that should be who im thinking about like my kids, this often makes me feel guity. i seem to have a fear of people coming into my life then losing them again, to the point its obsessive, not sure if this is linked to my bp or not.

ange72 x

Old 10-09-2008, 07:14 AM   #9
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brit5467 HB User
Re: bipolar AND OCD? anybody obsess about thoughts?

I don't know how helpful this will be, but after being screwed over by a man (in a very unhealthy relationship), I found myself contantly replaying things in my head. I know this isn't the same thing as you're experiencing, but these thoughts (about what he did, how dare he, how could he, etc.) took over my life. I had access to checking his bank account and did so on a daily basis, to see how much money he was spending even tho he was long gone out of my life. And I didn't even want him back, but still, I obsessed.

We were both seeing a counselor prior to him leaving, so I continued to do so. And I agree with the other post that spoke of therapy and "retraining" the brain. I know my therapist really helped me with that. Since this was so long ago, I can't remember HOW, exactly, she did this, but it wasn't hard and didn't take long.

But what I DO remember distinctly was that she labled this behavior as having 'intrusive thoughts'......thoughts that got in the way of daily living.

So I'd start with finding a therapist or shrink who is knowledgable about your conditions (and as someone else asked, have you been actually diagnoised with those?) and find out if they can help with 'intrusive thoughts.'

It DOES sound like your original experience (with a man/men/or whatever initiated this in the first place) has led to what the other poster said, about it being a defense mechanism.

In fact, you've said that, more or less....that you don't want to feel the way you did before. So now you're protecting yourself. If I 'heard you' right, you originally reacted to an experience by feeling bad when you did these things. When you did these things, it caused you pain. So now you obsess about and avoid doing these because you're scared you'll fall back into feeling that way again. You obsess about protecting yourself from these things to as to not risk having to have those same (bad?) feelings that you did before.

So maybe, and this is just my opinion, you need to work thru whatever you previously went thru and by doing so, closure on THAT would help you. Kinda like going backwards to the beginning, to when this whole situation originated????

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