Hi, welcome. Yes I know those kind of days, when everything seems so difficult. I hope you are able to see a doctor soon. For now, this board hopefully will help you. The first time I was here, I saw that I wasn't alone, that by itself made me feel a little better. It is good to be able to speak to others who understand what you are going through.
I hope you feel the same way. And when you feel alone and down, you can always reach out through this board.
I'm sure you have already called your insurance and asked about the Psychiatrists in your area, correct? If that doesn't work, do you have a County Mental health System in your area? I have gotten help from them before (long ago) when I could not find help anywhere else.
Hope this helps