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Old 07-21-2008, 12:06 PM   #1
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Dating Woes of the Bipolar

I was just dumped last night by a guy with Bipolar I. I'm Bipolar II and really did have worries that the two of us may have some difficulty. And there was difficulty but mainly from his point of view. He decided that I could not communicate well and I think that he perceived a lot of things about me that were not true (he mis-interpreted my moods and such). I'm not sure if they were simply his projections or if they had to do with his cycling (I believe he may be a rapid cycler but we had only been dating about a month so I'm not exactly sure). The only medication he was on was Lamictal. He did have something that he could take to help him sleep but he rarely used it because he didn't like the side effects. He moved back and forth from being happy and agitated in quick succession. It was unnerving, I started to have lots of anxiety and the more that was evident, the less attractive I became.

I guess I am wondering if the relationship was doomed to failure. Are there Bipolar folks here who also date other Bipolars?

I know I have a lot to work on but I am pretty crushed that this thing that seemed to have such potential was never ever going to work out anyway. And now I'm replaying stuff in my head and getting more anxious and thinking I could actually have done stuff different but, in reality, he needed to take ownership of the problems he brought to the relationship. He had talked of us being in a long-term relationship which I suppose was a warning sign after only having dated for one month.

Nonetheless, I've got to move on but would certainly like to learn if this is something others have gone through. I need to at least learn something from this situation.

 
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Old 07-30-2008, 09:22 PM   #2
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Re: Dating Woes of the Bipolar

I'm not going to go looking for someone who is bipolar but I definitely would like to try dating someone who has the disorder. I just think it would be an awesome experience being with someone who can totally understand what you're going through. Understand the mood swings, the med woes, everything. I just think it would be pretty cool, but then again it could go awfully wrong and also our kids would probably have a 100% chance of being bipolar if that's how it works.

 
Old 08-02-2008, 06:35 AM   #3
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Re: Dating Woes of the Bipolar

Well within in that week he decided that he was being rash and wanted to give it another go since he has pretty strong feelings for me (or I should say we have strong feelings for each other).

I decided I would try it again but I have to expect that he is going to be difficult to deal with (I'm a much milder form of BP, so he really will not have to endure as much as I have to endure with him). It's been a week back into the relationship and things are working better but we both have to work at it. I don't think I've ever been in a relationship where I had to really consciously work at it every day.

As for children, we both recogize that our BP behaviors would not necessarily be the best thing for a child and have no desire to have children. I imagine as you said that it would be a 100% chance that the child has some form of BP. I decided a long time ago that children would not work for me.

I have no idea how this is going to work out...

 
Old 08-04-2008, 07:05 PM   #4
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Re: Dating Woes of the Bipolar

well me and the wifers are separted from my biploar. The only thing helpng me through this is massive amounts of Alkaline Trio, Minus the Bear, and the GEt up KIds.

 
Old 08-05-2008, 10:04 AM   #5
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Re: Dating Woes of the Bipolar

Sorry to hear about your break-up. I find music is my best medicine as well.

 
Old 08-05-2008, 06:25 PM   #6
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Re: Dating Woes of the Bipolar

Quote:
Originally Posted by MouseOnMars View Post
I don't think I've ever been in a relationship where I had to really consciously work at it every day.
If you have to work at your relationship every day in order to sustain it, it doesn't seem like it would be worth it.

 
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