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Old 08-02-2008, 09:14 AM   #1
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justmeintx HB User
What is wrong with me

After my last suicde attempt the doc at the hospital diagnosed me with bipolar. SO I see the the county health department the physiologist tells me I am suffereing for a separation disorder, they psychiatrist tells me I am depressed but don't need any meds and the counselor tells me I have BPD . So may someone here can help me .






<edited off disallowed subject. Read the rules >






I am constantly depressed been this way for over 3 years now , I do not like to go out in public prefer sitting in a small room in my 2 story house and cuddleing a stuffed bunny rabbit that I have had since I have been 5 . I constantly think I am worthless and I have a big problems trusting people .

Meds I have tried lexapro , prozac, dektapro and even seraquil.
I just want these thought out of my head and my eyes to stop crying .

 
Old 08-13-2008, 04:42 AM   #2
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Re: What is wrong with me: OFF The Wall (Good?) Advice

Ok, let me start off by saying that I have never personally encountered an emotional situation that affected my life to the degree that this has influenced yours. I can however empathise with the circumstances you face in having to rely almost entirely upon the whim of whatever physician you happen to be seeing at the moment, most of whom are as baffled as the patients they treat, and of course free of the crippling symptoms which can turn everyday activities into almost unbearable tasks. So before I continue on to say what will most likely gather scorn from the masses I would suggest you try Nardil, it's a non selective MAO inhibitor so the dietary changes would be quite severe but it's been shown to succed when others fail (but you'll probably have to push hard to get it nonetheless).

Anyway, onto my somewhat controversial advice... if it's truly that bad and nothing else works then stop courting your brain with endless anti-depressents and mood stabilizers that may or may not work and go strait to drugs that ARE effective. Thats right, the potentially habit forming ones. Unfortunatly this means going from dr. to dr. and tell each one something new until you aquire narcotics i.e. percocet (endorphin systems), d-amphetamines (domaminergic and norepinephrine), and benzodiazipines i.e valium(GABA). Chances are that some combination of the above mentioned should provide some TEMPORARY relief of your depression. You see, the truth is that depression can be overcome by making drastic changes in lifestyle such as exercising more, eating better, socializing more, and most importantly NOT STAGNATING.

The difficulty with depression though is that these things are exactly what it wants us to avoid, thus we must turn to medicine to enable us to push through the dark cloud and emerge on the other side. And although I will undoubtetly draw critisism from all sides for this suggestion (especially for including narcotics) I have seen it done right and have seen it work, if one is careful and uses the window of oppertunity granted in the first few months to incorporate the above mentioned lifestyle changes (essential if embarking on this path) then in a lot of cases one will be able to become independant of the need for ANY medication whatsoever. Well... I guess I'm done, I just thought I ought to mention that if one is not careful and lapses into addiction then you'll turn out much worse than before, so avoid recreational doses and go no longer than 2-3 months.

 
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Old 08-13-2008, 07:31 PM   #3
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seaturtle HB User
Re: What is wrong with me: OFF The Wall (Good?) Advice

Hi,

I agree that you sound very depressed. Do you have symptoms of bipolar or BPD) (There a good stickies at the top of this board's page.

It sounds as if you need to see someone else who can diagnose you.

Telling you you're not depressed sounds...uh....odd.....

I cannot agree with the first poster about looking for narcotics and benzodiazipines.
Yes, percocet and hydrocodone can provide a few hours of a high, but they are depressants and also dangerous not only because of the addiction factor but because they repress respiratory system.

Also, I've known people who go "doctor shopping" in order to find narcotics and benzos, and they end up not being able to get much medication at all. These are controlled substances, and at least where I live, the pharmacy is required to keep a record (which is circulated to all the pharmacies in the extended area), so you'd be found out.

I can't imagine how frustrating it would be to get 3 different diagnoses - and no proper treatment. Can you go back to the psychiatric and explain what's happened and ask for some definition? I, too, must go to a mental health center and have been diagnosed with different things, but my symptoms are always the same.

I just kept in on insisting that they listen to MY needs, instead of their diagnoses.

I'm so sorry you're in this mess, but you can find your way out of it by speaking up for yourself and becoming insistent, I think.

Whatever support you can get from folks here will be there for you.

 
Old 08-13-2008, 10:38 PM   #4
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justmeintx HB User
Re: What is wrong with me

Well I tried the no drugs at all thing didn't work to good was always depressed and didn't want to leave the house and I had tried to hang myself once back then ,



<discussion of illegal substance use is not allowed.>



moving to another state is out of the question.

 
Old 08-14-2008, 06:38 AM   #5
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: What is wrong with me

Hi just me,

First of all, try not to think of "What's wrong with me", your a great person in your own right and just need to get the right doc. I have BiPolar disorder with Suicidal Depression, so I think I might know a bit what you're going through. My last attempt was 1 month ago and landed me in the psych ward for a short stay. I have a great Psychiatrist and Psychologist and this makes all the difference. I think a good medical team is one of the most important things in getting us through these really dark periods. I also take a pretty large "cocktail" of meds: Seroquel, Lamictal, Topomax, Vitamin D, and Neurontin, but they work and I've been doing really well for the past few weeks. Unfortunately i am also a chronic pain patient and have to take several pretty potent narcotics, and like Seaturtle said I have to be very very careful because they do increase the depression, and I have to make sure all my meds work well together.

I hope some of this is helpful to you, and I sincerely hope that you can get through to your docs, or find a new one. Remember there is always a way out of this dark time, so please don't give up.

 
Old 08-14-2008, 11:03 PM   #6
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justmeintx HB User
Re: What is wrong with me

well I found out today that it will take me 4 1/2 months to see the doctors I need so I can get the right meds. was thinking I might take part in some clinical trail that take 8 weeks or so should give me enough time to kick my smoking habbit too. I am also a cronic pain patient had a car wreck and hurt my back and neck for my neck they done a nerv block as for back well you know how it is finding a good doc for back surgery everyone around here wants to do this outdated spinal fussion. But one day I will find myself a doc tto get it fixed until then I try to not take the loratabs on a daily basis .

thanks for everyones input and your warm welcome to this board.

 
Old 08-15-2008, 01:38 PM   #7
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: What is wrong with me

well it sounds like your handeling the doc.s telling you it will be a while pretty good. And the med study sounds like a really good deal for you t do right now you know? I'll be around to talk with you if it gets hard or you get down. I'm having major reconstruction surgery on my left knee on the 25th, so I'll be pretty much home bound for at least the first 3 weeks.

don't feel bad about telling me your troubles, it helps. And the time will pass will quickly and you'll be back with a good shrink and they'll get you on the right meds and you'll be feeling so much better.

 
Old 08-15-2008, 08:51 PM   #8
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seaturtle HB User
Re: What is wrong with me

I hope you can find a clinical trial and get started earlier.

Why that long for an appointment? You're in distress. Can they at least put you on a cancellation list?

For your pain, I'm sorry you have that. I also have some. Any chance you can get to a large hospital, preferably a teaching hospital connected with a medical school, and get the right treatment for your back and neck there?

Stay in touch, glad to have you here.

 
Old 08-16-2008, 11:29 AM   #9
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justmeintx HB User
Re: What is wrong with me

thanks for all your great support, first of the reason its going to take 4 1/2 to see all the doctors is because I am way out in the sticks next neighbor is over 1 mile closest store is 7 miles and that just a lil store .

I tried this before and ended up with 3 different diagnose and no meds so this time I am going to try a different county .



<deleted inappropriate comment>





I noticed my depression is not as bad when I am around other ppl but when I am alone the darkness comes .

But I have done one thing that seems to be helping I got this subliminal msg program for the computer and I have noticed that [I]am a lil more uppity then I have been but then that could also be because I finally got my car back so I can go to town when I get down and just walk around in wally world .I have started to


[edited: journal]


also to let out some of my emotions .Not sure how much that will help but I have been told by a counsler that it might help so I will give it a try anything is better then the dark place.

 
Old 08-16-2008, 08:14 PM   #10
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seaturtle HB User
Re: What is wrong with me

Hi again,

One thing that's helped me with depression and mood swings is taking Omega 3's every day. My doc told me that some people are maintained on very high doses of this for depression - it's not an Rx, and certainly worth a try.

I, too, find that being with others helps a lot. I live alone and am isolated often, and other people give me insight into their worlds, which so often are so much more difficult than mine. And I learn from them. Being isolated, I lack the stimulation of conversation and ideas, have to make my own energy field, and I'm trying to find ways to connect with more people.

I'm sure you can find a better doctor.
And we're indeed here to listen and support.

Best to you!
Seaturtle

 
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