Dating/ Bipolar issues - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

CarenR · 08-08-2008, 09:52 AM

WEll someone askeD me out on a date.. and I am afraid when I will have to tell him about my Bipolar.... sometimes I think it is better to stay single if I have to tell someone about it... I am a widow of 7 years.. so I have been married and I get lonely sometimes......

When should we tell someone about our Bipolar.?

Any opinion..s??

hugs, Caren Bipolar 1-- zyprexa

Starbaby77 · 08-09-2008, 07:28 AM

I feel for you. I have told everyone I know that I am BP. Why? I don't really fit the classic symptoms of this - meaning I don't have the raging mood swings. I do understand though that someone might want to run the other way when they hear that someone they are dating has this. I guess I am not really interested in dating enough to care. I guess its the butterfly theory - let them fly away and they will eventuallly come back on their own. One thing I wouldn't do is tell them right away. Let them get to know you well, so they can judge your personality on their own.

They can then see that you are not some raging monster and can form an opinion of this illness on their own. Besides, its just bad form to start emptying one's closet of skeletons right away anyhoo...

Good luck! Starbaby

Janl20000 · 08-12-2008, 12:26 PM

I am new here but i dont feel the need to tell my whole story. (So sordid) I have had BP for as long as i can remember, I am now 50. I have never been able to properly manage my life, my finances or my depression. I think its gotten worse in the last few yrs. Even thought I have been on meds of one kind or another. I used to be able to hold a job for 2-3 yrs. lately i have been getting fired because of my "mood swings" around 6 months - 1 yr.. I just got taken out on disability. again and now am looking into jobs that I can move around on so no one will get to know me too well.
I have dated many men and usually when you tell them you have BP they run like hell. The only way around that is to not tell them until they get to know me better. But problem is i get depressed and sometimes they interpret that as that i dont like them. I think we need to try to live with this ilness and that means going out on dates and trying...

CarenR · 08-12-2008, 02:03 PM

Thank you for your response..... I went out on a date with john, then he ask me for another date this friday I said yes , But i told him about the Bipolar 1.

but no details of what I go through. He still wants to date me even though I have this illness.....

We will see how it goes..

Caren

northstar15 · 08-14-2008, 11:15 AM

I would say there's no need to tell him until the relationship starts to get into a serious phase. You told him already and he didn't run so congrats! But really I feel like Bipolar is a personal illness that effects everyone differently. If you tell someone before they know you, then they're just basing their opinion off the stereotype instead of knowing you personally. My two cents is to wait a little bit but at the same time it's nothing to hide.