Depressed over going back to regular therapist
As some of you know 7 weeks ago my tdoc had to go on Medical Leave, so I started to going to my pdoc for therapy during that time. He usually just handles my med. mgmt. We all knew going in that this was a temporary arrangement, and I was fine with that, no big deal, or so I thought.
A little back ground, along with the BP I also have PTSD, and SI. The PTSD is from trauma from when I was a child, which resulted in some severe abandenment issues. So now it is time to change back to my normal tdoc for therapy, and my pdoc, tdoc and I are all working on a "transition" arrangement to handle this change as smoothly as possible.
The problem is I'm not sure I want to change, I'm not sure I'm able to do this and it is causing some major depression issues. A week ago I was doing good, and now for the last 3 days I'm back in my room not wanting to get out of bed, constantly fighting anxiety over this situation. I'm actually consideringr taking a break from the whole therapy thing, but a big part of me knows that shouldn't happen. I just spent time in the hospital 4 weeks ago for a suicide attempt, so I know I need to be in therapy, but I really just don't know if I can do this switch, it just doesn't feel right and I'm not sure why.
Has this happened to anyone else????