Hello fine and friendly folk!!! I've been feeling horrible ever since this month started. August and February are almost always bad for me... Reading this board has helped me so much. It's nice to see supportive people posting kind words to those in need.
Which brings me to my subject.
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. I'm 28 and my girlfriend is 22. We've been together for 2 years and those 2 years have been practically problem free. I've never seen a psychologist but always knew it was in the cards. Recently I've been feeling "under the weather". Old depressive feelings and tendencies resurfacing. (I thought I was finally over it)
My girlfriend is wonderfull and takes my moods ok, given she seems to be the trigger for all my moodswings, but it's hard because she doesn't understand. I guess she's "one of the lucky one's" that don't have to worry about feeling and acting a way contrary to "reality". She tells me "just stop being sad", or "just be happy", and worse of all, "just get over it". She rolls her eyes and treats me like a child throwing a tantrum.
Furthermore, I always feel like she was right once I calm down. Thus making her feel like acting that way is ok, and it seems to only make it worse. I just feel so bad for freaking out on her. I don't know how to explain what I'm going through so she will understand me.
I've read the boards and my symptoms seem to fit in with bipolar 1. When I'm really upset I think I can hear everyone's thoughts. Not audibly but more of a feeling they all hate me or think I'm a joke. Later I get really upset at myself because it's obviously impossible and I just end up setting a sullen and irritated mood for the night.
GOOD NEWS THOUGH!!! I finally took a stand with my insurance company and got a call back from a Doctor!!! Unfortunately it's going to take at least 2 weeks and by the time I see her I'm afraid the month will have pretty much passed by and I won't want to go because I'm only really messy in the head August and February.
I want to ask you fine and friendly folk if you have any advice on how to talk to my already brushing me off and rolling her eyes girlfriend.
And ask you for support to get through the 2 weeks until I see a Doctor and to actually go once that time comes. I'm sure there's a reason I haven't gone as of yet. But I see this ruining my wonderful relationship. I cannot and will not let that happen.