Newbie::: My girlfriend loves me but seems to make me worse... - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

mud1ta333 · 08-11-2008, 09:34 PM

Hello fine and friendly folk!!! I've been feeling horrible ever since this month started. August and February are almost always bad for me... Reading this board has helped me so much. It's nice to see supportive people posting kind words to those in need.

Which brings me to my subject.

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. I'm 28 and my girlfriend is 22. We've been together for 2 years and those 2 years have been practically problem free. I've never seen a psychologist but always knew it was in the cards. Recently I've been feeling "under the weather". Old depressive feelings and tendencies resurfacing. (I thought I was finally over it)
My girlfriend is wonderfull and takes my moods ok, given she seems to be the trigger for all my moodswings, but it's hard because she doesn't understand. I guess she's "one of the lucky one's" that don't have to worry about feeling and acting a way contrary to "reality". She tells me "just stop being sad", or "just be happy", and worse of all, "just get over it". She rolls her eyes and treats me like a child throwing a tantrum.
Furthermore, I always feel like she was right once I calm down. Thus making her feel like acting that way is ok, and it seems to only make it worse. I just feel so bad for freaking out on her. I don't know how to explain what I'm going through so she will understand me.
I've read the boards and my symptoms seem to fit in with bipolar 1. When I'm really upset I think I can hear everyone's thoughts. Not audibly but more of a feeling they all hate me or think I'm a joke. Later I get really upset at myself because it's obviously impossible and I just end up setting a sullen and irritated mood for the night.
GOOD NEWS THOUGH!!! I finally took a stand with my insurance company and got a call back from a Doctor!!! Unfortunately it's going to take at least 2 weeks and by the time I see her I'm afraid the month will have pretty much passed by and I won't want to go because I'm only really messy in the head August and February.
I want to ask you fine and friendly folk if you have any advice on how to talk to my already brushing me off and rolling her eyes girlfriend.
And ask you for support to get through the 2 weeks until I see a Doctor and to actually go once that time comes. I'm sure there's a reason I haven't gone as of yet. But I see this ruining my wonderful relationship. I cannot and will not let that happen.

twisted71 · 08-12-2008, 02:54 AM

Hi and welcome to the board. I would say that you may have other tendancies towards bipolar besides just in the months of August and February. But only a doctor could tell you that. As far as going to the doctor, I would suggest that you do a mood chart until you can see the doctor so that she/he will know how your moods have been in the two weeks prior.

I know what you mean about your gf. my dh tells me the same things sometimes. He doesn't seem to understand that I can't help it. If you print some material from the internet about bipolar for her to read then maybe she would understand more. Or maybe even get a book for her to read. I hope this helps at least a little bit.

vanosterin · 08-12-2008, 04:42 AM

You seem to have more of a major depressive disorder than Bipolar.

mud1ta333 · 08-12-2008, 10:11 PM

well.... anything is possible. I was reading the symptom checker and bipolar seemed pretty right on. but i see a psychiatrist for the first time tomorrow. I'm pretty excited about it because I haven't had much peace with myself for weeks and I'm looking forward to talking to someone who can listen and understand me. I always thought I had depression when I was young, lately I've been told bipolar and when I read the symptoms I kind of accepted it. but it really doesn't matter as long as there is a way to move on and grow and understand myself better. I'm ready to start feeling safe in myself again. and feel safe to be around. insecurity really eats me up. Thanks for your imput. Why do you say that by the way?

seaturtle · 08-13-2008, 08:40 PM

Hi,

Do you see a therapist? If so, perhaps you could take your girlfriend with you and talk it about it there to create some understanding for her.

I'm glad you've got the doctor's appointment. Keep it! Just remember how bad you feel and that it's affecting your relationship.

Obviously no one here can diagnose you, but I do know that some people have reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder - they get depression in the summer instead of the winter.
Your difficultis are always seasonal?

I hope you do keep that appointment and explain exactly what's going on so you can get the help you need.