I have been recently diagnoised as being bipolar, which for me, is hereditary and for whatever reason, no doctors in the past ever took me seriously when I said I had bad mood swings, where it literally feels like my brain has snapped. My mother was bipolar, or back when I was growing up, she was considering Manic Depressive, one minute, she'd be fine, next, she's be yelling, throwing things, hitting me, and then almost as fast as it hit her, she would snap back to normal. She took lithuim, but when she ran out, she wouldn't get her refills right away and so, the mood swings would happen. From my understanding, her mom and sister both had this as well.
Im 34 and since I was 14, I always had mood swings. Growing up, my doctor simply felt, I was reacting to my mother, so whenever she was upset, I got upset, whenever she was happy, I was happy, because you never knew what to expect. Loved my mom and she was a great woman (she passed away several years ago), and I don't blame her for anything, for I know, she was ill.
However, after she died, I went to a different doctor who said my mood swings were because of losing my mother. I tried to explain, I had a lot of the same things she did, the sudden outburst, the sudden change of moods, yelling, screaming, throwing things, threatening to harm myself, but was told, at that time, I was only in my 20's and too young to have mental issues.
Years later, my moods got worse. Suddenly I went from outbursts every week to almost daily. Everything and anything would set me off. I could be laughing one minute and the next crying or yelling. No one believed me when I said, I feel like I just snap and the older I got, the scary it got.
Well, I finally found a doctor who listens to me. I told him my family history, boyfriend and asked him some things and he diagnoised me as being bipolar. He said, I've probably been bipolar most of my life, just some doctors are still not sure of the signs. That some doctors want to think my feelings are all in my head and not reality. When in fact, they are reality.
I feel a mix of emotions. Am I crazy? Am I mentally ill? If I have children, will they have this too? I also feel relief in knowing, my outbursts are actually because, like my mother, I am ill. I don't mean to have the mood swings, but at least I know now, it wasn't like I could help it. I admit, I don't know why my boyfriend has stuck around all these years with me, going through this when he could have easily walked away.
I am on lamictal and celexa right now, he did mention in 2 weeks, after I have the initial lamictal started, he may also consider putting me on a 3rd medication, but not sure yet.
Does anyone have any experience with lamictal or celexa? I have taken the medications for a day now and I feel a bit dizzy, but that seems to be wearing off.
Thank you all for listening to me. I really have no one else to talk to about this and very happy I found this board.
Lamictal has worked wonders for me. I can't enough positive about it.
Good that you're finally diagnosed correctly. Now you can get meds to help you - and they do, so much. Go to a therapist?
Try not to worry about having children just now. Take it one thing at a time, and focus on getting stabilized. Once you're on the right meds, you can think about major life changes. For now, concentrate on you.
There are statistics somewhere you can find about the likelihood of passing it on to kids, too.
I just joined this board maybe a week ago and everyone here is very supportive and kind. It's been a god send since I find it hard to talk about my problems with my friends who don't really have any "issues". I feel like I'm just bringing them down. I just got prescribed a new med. Started on very low doses. I just took my first time tonight. I'm feeling calmer just knowing I've taken a step in a more controled direction. The doses are too low to feel and it takes time for them to effect you. But just knowing the future can be easier than my past has a theraputic effect. Along with this board I am feeling much better than I felt earlier. Glad to be the first to tell you "WELCOME!!!!" And I'm in pretty much the same boat. My "illness" I get it from my moms side mostly as well. ~~~~ Good Luck
Thank you so much. Today was my first day back at work and I did tell my boss and one of my co-workers whats going on. I figured, if something was to happen, at least they know what's happening as opposed to not having a clue what is wrong with me. My boss was great, told me the most important thing to do is take care of myself. My co-worker, I cried when I told her the news, but this may sound weird, I wasn't crying because I was sad over the news, I was crying because finally, there's a reason I do the things I do, there's a reason why I can be super hyper and super sad in the same day. There's a reason why I get angry easily and why I can have nonstop laughter for no reason at all. It was like, I feel mixed emotions, but mostly relief. Finally, I have an answer and finally I know, Im not crazy, I'm not going through some phase, but that I am bipolar.
I will probably come here a lot, as no one I know has this or really truly understands this. I admit, I am a bit scaried, but I'm mostly just happy I found a doctor who listened to me and is treating me instead of coming up with excuses why I have the epsoides I do.
I do have a question, I notice the Celexa seems to not cause anything, but the Lamictal seems to make me feel a bit airy. I'm not happy, but I'm not sad. I'm just in this limbo feeling. Is that normal considering this is only my
3rd day taking it?
I start taking Lamictal 2x a day tomorrow and then next Saturday, i start it at 3x a day.
How come in this rash I've been told about? Is it something that is very common or on the rare side?
Thank you all....it feels great to talk to people who know exactly what is going on and can relate. I don't feel like I'm the only one dealing with this, but finally there are others like me. Thank you all.