Is it normal to feel this way.
I have been seeing my reg md for like 5 years now. He has been doing my meds, since this all started for me in march. He has done them since I seen him for depression. Now with the BP coming around he has worked hard to get me stable. Well now I am at point where I am just not quite there. He says now it is time to see a PDoc. I was like lost for words. I didnt get it. I know it is for the best but I feel so rejected, like he is giving up. We did talk and I know it is for the best. My reg md, have a great realtionship, probally more than others but he is just like that, we talk about things in life not just medical. I know that I hate rejection and that from what I read is part of this. They also think I have borderline personallity disorder. He says he is not giving up that he will treat me, he just needs more to go on.
why cant I get it
I know how that can feel, and if you have Borderline, you're especially sensitive to rejection/abandonment issues.
You doctor is not rejecting you. If anything, he is embracing you. He wants to get the best treatment for you.
Most regular docs are not comfortable prescribing a lot of psych meds. They know their limitations, and they're not experts in the psych med field. He didn't say he didn't want you as a patient or that you should switch altogether to a p/doc, did he?
I wonder - would you feel rejected if he sent you to say, a podiatrist or a surgeon? I'd think not. If you have a therapist, perhaps talking this out and figuring out why the prescribing of the psych meds makes you feel rejected, as opposed to going to a "medical" specialist.
You don't need to hide or be ashamed of your illness. It is just like any other medical illness and has to be treated with medication, just like cancer or MS.
Are you comfortable enough with your doc to tell him how you feel, just for reassurance?
I think you do indeed "get it". But for us, getting it in our heads is one thing. It's our emotions that are out of rational control.
If it's any comfort, I can feel rejected easily, too. Recently, someone has been helping me build a fence. She's much stronger and skilled than I, and did much of the work.
(I was introduced to her by therapist, who said she wanted to work on a project and help someone).
She's a lovely person and we got along so well. I wanted to thank her in some way, and offered to get her something she'd enjoy (she wouldn't take money), or treat her to the theater. She turned me down and said that if I needed help on another project, she'd be glad to help
I'd wanted a friendship. Well, she didn't, for her own reasons. My feelings are terribly hurt, and I already miss her, since we were together almost every day. But it was only 2 weeks!
I have to work on putting myself in the other person's shoes. Maybe you can do that about your doc, too.
seaturtle and eye, I reach out and empathize with you both.
Eye, I agree with seaturtle and think you do get it. It is just hard to stick. Since he is still treating for other thigs I think over time you will feel better. It takes more time with people like us but you seem well-adjusted and self aware, both of which work in your favor.
seaturtle, I tend to turn everyone I meet into a friend instantly. I tend to invest more into friendships than most people do and usually end up getting hurt. Never worry, there is always someone out there to befriend and always someone who wants to befriend you. You just have to find them...also, you never know what she goes through. She may have a difficulty that you are unware of. When in doubt, blame it on the other guy...lol
First off love the name, I collect and love turtles.
what you posted is like the same conversation I had with my reg doc. how amazing. I do understand and we did talk about how I feel. He understands also. I have been through a lot of medical and mental things with him. I know he is my doctor, but I hate new. I dont feel like this needs me to go on to a specialist as with a heart or foot doctor, why I dont know.
I realize that in time I will not feel this way--hopefully.
Thanks for words of encouragement. It is so nice to be here on this board and know that I am not alone.