i am angry today. i met with my psychiatrist to discuss treatment regime (i was just diagnosed as type 1, mixed states, a few weeks ago).
he wants to put me on valproate, and i'm afraid of all the side effects. but i'm also afraid of the side effects of all the other drug choices. i do not know what to do. i am feeling resistive to treatment because i am currently manic and feel nice. i am trying to remember what depression feels like in hopes that i will continue with treatment.
i really do not know what to do about drugs. i am so afraid of taking something long term that could be damaging to my health.
i am just so confused. if i didn't feel like such a lousy wife and mother, i would just refuse treatment all together. i am so irritable all the time, it feels like.
Hiya, please don't worry, your Psychiatrist only wants the best for you & I understand the concern, but i'm on Sodium Valproate & don't really get any side effects & hey, if you do it can always be stopped!
What has helped me is to take some control over the process. No, going without medications is not an option but that doesn't mean you can't be involved in deciding what drugs to try, what side effects you will tolerate and which ones you can't.
Encourage your doctor to give you as much information as possible about the medications to be considered. Always ask the questions "why are you considering this medication?" "what makes you think med. X is preferable to med. Y?" "Where can I go to learn more about my condition and treatment choices?" I believe this approach has not only helped me retain some control over a lousy situation, but that by working with my pdoc as a partner, not an adversary, I have ended up with better control over my bipolar as well.
Side effects suck. We all know that but most are easily fixed and never return. What is more dangerous? You getting medication and switching if you don't like it or you around your kids or even alone with yourself unmedicated. I was a very destructive person while not medicated and it feels so nice to be able to use the past tense. I was desructive and now I'm not. I have two wonderful children who deserve a real mom and not someone who couldn't even take care of herself, much less them.
I don't know your situation but if you feel you need helkp don't let the bp talk you out of it. It is a cunning monster and it will if you let it. Use this board if you need it. We are here to help and support.
I have only been working out medications for the last few months and I am on four different drugs and don't have any side effects. You could always try some of the meds and if their are side effects that you cannot deal with, just switch to another. It is my personal opinion that going without medication is far more dangerous that anything else. Find yourself a doctor that you trust and that you can talk to, and go from there.
Wishing you all the best and success on your journey,