Bipolar and off the meds
I am new to the board. I am bi-polar (and I am a guy with Fibromyalgia...). I was on Wellbutrin (for depression), Lamactil (for mood swings), Ativan (for anxiety), and Lyrica (for the fibro).
Late last year, a company I owned went under, so I lost my insurance...until I went out and got a real job. When the insurance went, so did the meds and the psyche doctor. I continued paying for the Lyrica, because it's great for pain...and gives me energy and is good for depression. It DOES, sometimes, bring on hypomania. I have relocated to another city and have just started the search for a new doctor.
Well...is it normal to really WANT the hypomania/manic phases. When I am in that state, I feel great, have energy, can think, etc. The problem, I do stupid things with money, say stupid things before thinking, all the things that go along with that. The Lamactil seems to keep me in the dumps!
Since last December, I have been off everything, but the Lyrica. There have been times I have gone without that and had withdrawls and really felt like I was gonna crack! In fact, right after my company went under, I really thought I was gonna end up in the hospital. My wife and others around me were really concerned. I cried, and in a couple instances, found myself going into a rage. When I say rage...I am not talking AK-47 type rage...just lashing out at people, things, etc. I really worry about my eight year old...that, some day I may find she is bi-polar. Like her dad, she is rather intelligent. Not trying to be vain, I have an IQ in the 150's for what that is worth...but, in school, I was on underacheiver...she is reading 2 grade levels higher than where she is in school. So, I see differences, but at times, when she gets upset, etc; I am like, "oh no"...but, she's probably just being a kid.
I know I have addressed more than one concern above...but, I would really like to know about anyone else's experiences, that have quit the meds cold turkey. How do you 'keep things under control' when you are manic? Any suggestions for finding a progressive/proactive doctor. I've moved from a city of 18,000 to a city of almost 300,000...so, there should be some good resources here. Your ideas are greatly appreciated!!