Well long story short about 5-6 months ago my doctor told me he thought I had anxiety and bipolar disorder. I blew that off and just kept doing what I was doing...eating right, working out, etc etc. This last month of so I started really having bad mood swings and was very irritable and not sleeping so I went to a different doctor, who told me the exact same thing...bipolar. She put me on Kalonapin for the time being to see if that helps my mood and helps me sleep. So far is has worked a little, but I can't stop thinking/worrying about things that don't really even matter!
Like....when is my girlfriend going to call? why hasn't she responded to my text (even though I know she is at work or school)? Why hasn't my boss given me the feedback on that project? I don't have anything to do tonight...what am I going to do??
These things seem to send me into a downward spiral to where I can't concentrate on anything productive. My work is starting to suffer, I snap at people around me and feel like I'm starting to sabotage my relationship. I am looking for a therapist to go see, but with my current situation can't really afford much right now.
Any ideas on how to curb this excessive worrying and thoughts and turn them into something productive? Inside I know my girlfriend is going to call...I know my boss will get back to me....I know I will find things to do...but my brain just won't accept that! At least I'm sleeping a little now with the medication, but before that I was lucky to get a couple hours a night and I just chalked that up to stress.
You might need to talk to your doctor about getting on some more of different meds.
You sound manic, and paranoid (a disorder not an insult). When you're manic you don't sleep, when you don't sleep you are manic.
If you don't know what the term mania means go on google and look it up, and see if the description matches your behaviour.
Not having the right medicine can cause problems (severe in some cases) eventually.
so talk to your doctor about everything that's going on so you can get on the right mix of medication.
For me it has come with experience. I am a worrier as well and it is easy to be consumed by them. I started to write things down. Keep a journal, date it and right down what you're worried about. THe interesting thing about it is you get to see the thing that are consuming you. It is totally different when you go over the last month and see the pattern. It makes it easier to realize yes, this is pattern, this will happen but I will deal with it and it won't consume me.
Sad but true, the best lesson is experience. The longer you ave the disease the more tricks you learn to bypass the things that would have debilitated you years ago. The more you learn about this disease and how it affects you personally the better able you will be to cope.
Good luck, I hope some of this made sense and things will get better.
