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Bipolar Disorder Message Board
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Old 10-14-2008, 10:41 PM   #1
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BP runs in my family, not sure if i have it too...

hello! so, i was watching a commercial the other day for BP disorder and i feel like i could have it. i know that some of my family members are "manic depressive" and/or BP so... i guess it runs in my family. These are my basic symptoms:

-I have no urge to go to sleep at night. if i wake up at 7:00am, I can stay up til 3:00am with no problem. i have to FORCE myself to go to sleep, and even then, i lay in bed for hours sometimes and think about anything and everything.

however;

-when i have a day off from work, i will sleep til 2 or 3 in the afternoon. i always have these huge "to do" lists that i make myself, and when i finally get a day off, i dont get anything done because i CANNOT wake up.

-i feel disconnected from people. i was popular in high school/college and had lots of friends. i was able to relate to just about anybody, but i recently find myself not liking anybody i meet. when someone is telling me a story, i am usually very uninterested and have to force myself to act interested. most of the time i'm not really even listening. i feel horrible but i cannot control it most of the time. (i grew up in a big city, and i just moved to a small town, and feel like these people are nothing like me....)

-i do not really like to go out anymore. in college, i would count the days til the weekend. now, i think i want to go out, but usually feel too tired or uninterested when the weekend arrives.

-i used to think i was an attractive girl. not necessarily the most beautiful person in the world, but i was comfortable with my appearance. i used to get ready quite quickly but now it takes me much longer because i feel very unattractive and feel like i have to work much harder to look presentable. i never want to be in pictures anymore because i feel like i always look ugly in them.

-i have days at work when i am extremely sluggish and unproductive, and then other days (generally on the same amount of sleep) i will be a maniac, running around, cleaning, talking to people, etc.

there are more symptoms, but those are the major ones...i will not bore you with the rest!
i have had some changes in my life in the past few years which may be causing this? i moved out of state when i met a guy. i have lived here for almost three years now with no family and pretty much no friends in this area. him and i spend every second together unless we are at work. i do not really get along with his family. they own a business and have money, so they act like they are better than me because i don't come from a rich family. i'm thinking that maybe the lack of friends and family here has caused me to feel this way... i'm not really sure what to think. sorry this is long... but can anyone help????

 
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Old 10-15-2008, 03:00 PM   #2
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CarenR HB User
Re: BP runs in my family, not sure if i have it too...

welcome,,,

since BP runs in your family, You should have it checked out by a dr. and he can refer you to the p-doc...psychiatrist


hugs, Caren

 
Old 10-15-2008, 05:27 PM   #3
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Re: BP runs in my family, not sure if i have it too...

Actually....your situation sounds like the one I was in. I used to be in a relationship that I thought was ok....but....I did not get along with his family. And, I was not in school....I was doing something I didn't want to do....and I had no friends around.

Once we broke up, I felt better. I think it was actually just the relationship.

But, since you said that you have family members with BPD....you should get checked out..just in case.

It actually sounds like you're making smart choices when you have days off and when you don't. Basically, the doctors say that people with BPD stay up all night...and get no to little sleep. But, you only get little sleep when you have a day that you're working. When you're off, you may stay up late....but you sleep late as well...because you know you can.
To me, that sounds rational. And, there's very little room for being rational when you have bipolar disorder. (or when you are showing symptoms of BPD)

You could just be extremely stressed...and probably depressed since you did a life-changing thing....and since you don't get along with his family.

Don't make a big deal about the fact that your family members have bipolar disorder when you go to the doctor. If the doctor thinks you have it, then he or she will see it when you describe your symptoms. Yes, because you have family that has it...you will be apt to have it. But, that's not always the case. And, sometimes doctors will just say "Well, it's obvious what's going on here..." and just slap you with the diagnosis without really digging any deeper.

Just..go see someone about it. Maybe it will make you feel better.

 
Old 10-16-2008, 10:31 PM   #4
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hugeworrywart HB User
Re: BP runs in my family, not sure if i have it too...

thanks so much for the advice. your situation was a lot like mine! i am 23, and still havent finished college...which is a HUGE goal for me. i only have three semesters left of student teaching and i'm done. i haven't been in school for the past two semesters because i didnt like the college i was at here, so i've just been putting it off, which is something i promised myself i would never do. my boyfriend is amazing, treats me really well, so i don't want to break up with him, but i'm just not happy here. i just made the decision to move back home and finish school and put myself first for once. i really hope that helps me feel better. i'm just sick of having on and off days. i just want to be happy all the time, or most of the time at least! maybe when i accomplish my goals and start an actual career i will feel better. thanks again! you sure helped

 
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