i know its hard n stuff having bi polar and other mood affecting illnesses. im interested in what people do when they are really up? it sounds strange but when im really hyped up i fancy myself as abit of a stand up comedian. i also love to polish cars.
When I'm feeling really euphoric, I like to clean the house from top to bottom, cook a full course meal, do home improvement projects, tackle 10 different tasks all at once, exercise on my treadmill, eat my favorite "junk" foods/drink caffeine and party (i.e. be the life of the party). Although it's alot of fun while it lasts, it isn't very long before everything starts to spiral downhill and I become agitated and depressed. My meds do a pretty good job of keeping me stable, so I only experience mild to moderate manic symptoms.
Clean obsessively (I'll completely clean one room absolutely perfectly, even if the rest of the house stays a mess), think of brilliant new ideas for my dissertation, put tons of effort into them, and afterwards realize they make no sense. For some reason I start diagraming--dissertation chapters, plans for talks, etc. A normal strategy, but something I only do when I'm hypomanic. Get really irritable and inpatient. Also, I am always very aware that I'm hypomanic, and I don't like it, so it tends to make me frustrated.
I take very long, fast walks, have to get everything done yesterday, clean, do any physical work I can find. I can't sit down, my thoughts are racing, one idea after another. I get extremely irritable and angry. I hate the agitation and irritability - I wish I could just sit down and read.
I also plan all kinds of projects, volunteer for lots of organizations, make plans with people...then have to back out of them. I talk very fast, feel that my mind is ultra-clear, remember everything, and go nutz if I can't accomplish everything on my list.
This can be something as small as "I have get some Post-Its NOW." Not tomorrow, not in an hour, NOW.
I either love or hate everything. I have no patience. I do everthing very fast. And I, too, will have ten things running at the same time, notes for a book, plans to make art, be a musician, take classes in four languages, become a veterinarian assistant, a famous writer...you get the idea.
It's very uncomfortable. And I forget it's hypomania often, I just feel sooo good.
I have learned, though, to tell myself not to make a lot of committments when I'm like that, because I never can keep them all.
Then there is the crash. And we all know how that is.
I tidy up and get all faux-organized (I think I'm actually organizing things, but in reality things somehow aren't more organized in the end). I clean a bit too, but most of my attention is on tidying things up and decorating. Rearranging stuff. I also sign up for all kinds of classes, activities, events - I will book my calendar nearly solid.
I'll stay up until 2:00 am (on a night when I have to wake up at 6:00) writing a speech that I have no reason to ever give, journaling, writing articles that I won't get published, doing crossword puzzles, crocheting beanies for babies, skimming through books (I never actually read them page by page, I just kind of look through them real fast). My big thing has been organizing my iTunes library. I can spend ALL NIGHT on that.
I also like to go "window shopping" which turns into a $500 unexpected and unneeded spree. I won't call friends or acquaintances, but I'll go into a store or an event or a class and be the most entertaining, witty, funniest person they've encountered all year. I cannot tell you how many times I've actually asked someone in a store, "So... Am I best customer you've ever had?" (or most fun, most entertaining, etc.). So I can totally related to the stand up comedienne comment. When I am UP, it is like I am on STAGE. And I sure can put on a good show when I want to.
The stand up comedienne thing is so funny because it is totally not a normal social interaction. Like in that phase, I'll talk non-stop because I'm spinning jokes and wit right and left - I keep people rolling the entire time we're talking. But I rarely if ever ask them anything about themselves. I don't give my audience a chance to engage and frankly; I could care less. Isn't that awful??? LOL
"The stand up comedienne thing is so funny because it is totally not a normal social interaction. Like in that phase, I'll talk non-stop because I'm spinning jokes and wit right and left - I keep people rolling the entire time we're talking. But I rarely if ever ask them anything about themselves. I don't give my audience a chance to engage and frankly; I could care less. Isn't that awful??? LOL"
totally agree! i guess thats why most of my friends dont get how i can be so down and have such massive swings of mood. they only ever get to see one side of me. beware the funny person.... lol
I talk fast normally, but I babbly non stop and slur my words so you can't really understand what I'm saying. I tend to crack jokes as part of my regular personality - but I usually stay with in my set group of friends. When I'm manic I'm more apt to venture out and befriend anybody.
