i found this msg board because i felt i needed an outlet so I can take the burnden off loved ones. "adrift" is the only word on my mind at the moment. i was convinced that if my girlfriend left me, Id be in the hospital. I havent been in years. instead, i seem to have weathered both the pain ive put her through and the pain ive caused to myself. i cant die. i cant get ahead. im stuck here.