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Old 02-28-2009, 10:34 AM   #1
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Someone Help Please.

Hello†††† I need other peoples views in order to help me process what has been happening in my life with my husband.† I know that something is different about him and I think that he is bipolar.† I have been married to this man since 2002.† He had been married twice befor me and lived with a woman.† He had several kids that he had little to do with.† He signed his rights over on one of the kids.† He never paid child support and one of the mother's got him on arrearages when she found out he was marrying me.† My husband had very little until me including no job.† He came across as one of the most caring people that I had ever known.† I accepted all of his excuses for his past for he made them seem completely believable.† Shortly after we married I started seeing things that made no sense to me.† He drank every day.† When we argued he would say things like I was using him, I make him drink, he never wanted any of his kids anyway, he did not like me, ect.† In the beginning I tried to help him and did not ask for much.† However when I started askinf him to help out and pay the bills he became angry with me.† He left me for a week then returned and started helping with the bills and accusing me of using him.† When ever we argued, and he was drinking way to much, he would threated to leave me.† He would sometimes wipe his hands and say I am done with you I wash my hands of you.† He has told me that he wanted complete control of every thing.† He left out out verses from the bible and when I looked them up they were verses about how the man should be head of the household.† He never went to church.† He had urinated on my dresser beore and my son's (previous marriage) ball bad.† I heard this and woke and and saw him.† When I said something to him.† He put on his clothes and just left the house with not a work.† He came back the next day.† I have noticed that sometimes his voice changes where he talks in a James Cagney like accent.† At first I asked if something was wrong with his mouth and he said no.† His anger can be frightening.† He gets a wild look in his eyes.† He says he has to yell at me because that is the only way he is heard.† My older son thinks his step dad is crazy and may go off and hurt us.† Sometimes may husband seems to think that we are a part of him. If he likes something we should as well. I have told him many times that I am not him and that I am a different person.† He believes that the spouse should come befor the children and it is not right to have to pay taxes or child support.† He is in an astronomy club and spent thousands for dollars on equipment. He is very implusive with money and his actions.† He is now in very much debt like he was befor I came into his life.† When he is one his astrony web sight, he talks to the people as if he were a different person than the one I know.† He sounds like a college professor.† He has never been to college.† He was thinking about calling one of the professors at our local college and telling him that their obsevatory was in the wrong place.† My husband is now an expert.† My husband has been physically abusive to me† in the beginning of the marriage and has started with mild pushing and name calling again.† I put my foot down last week and called the Sheriffs' office.† He left the house befor they came and now he has a D.U.I and a Domestic Violence order against him.† I told the judge I wanted him to get help.† He will be going to substance abuse† classes and domestic violence counseling.† He is anry with me of course because nothin is wrong with him.† I have the problen.† I have been in therapy of and own for two years trying to get help for my self.† We have athree year old together .† My husband did not want him.† I know because he told me so.† I drove my own self to the hospital to have the baby. My husband likes† our son now but when he was a baby, my husband would go for weeks without looking at the baby.† That does not seen normal.. Now he professes his love for the child. I was going to divorce him but I am waint to see what the classes will do for him.† He is angry and will not talk to me on the phone.† I am heartbroken.† He is like several people and you get pulled in with the good that you have seen.† The good part of him know seems fake to me I don't believe that he is can feel and loveor it may be the sadness in me talking.† I am very sorry to keep this so long.† I have goten help for all of us but I need support from others in similar situaions.

 
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Old 02-28-2009, 11:42 AM   #2
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chelsea88 HB User
Re: Someone Help Please.

Wow, I must first say that I am new to bipolar disorder and haven't even been formally diagnosed. But I have to say, from an outsiders point of view, I think to just about anyone, it is evident that your husband has a serious problem and could, indeed have some bipolar traits. I won't say anymore than that because I really don't know. But this is certainly worrysom to hear about. I really hope that you or someone can get him some help and that you and your son stay safe and aware, it is never pleasant to feel afraid of someone you know and love.

I wish you the best, and keep us posted.

Best,
Volatile.

 
Old 02-28-2009, 12:18 PM   #3
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: Someone Help Please.

Well ummm, whew let's see...I've been BP for 20 plus years. What you describe doesn't really sound like BiPolar since you never speak of any lows, just wierd abusive behaviour. Their definitely is something wrong, but thrying to guess what it may be would be difficult for anyone on this board. I think it would definitely be helpful to both of you for him to go to a Psychiatrist for an evaluation, but honestly from what you described, it doesn't seem like you could get him to do so. I'm not a doctor, but from what you describe the first thing that pops into my mind is some type of schitzophrenic disorder. And if he's an alcoholic on top of that...well it could be pretty bad.

I have to ask this, is there a particular reason that you stay with him? From what you say he is a violent, abusive, both verbally and physcically, tyrant of a man and it doesn't seem like you or your children are in a safe situation.

kat

 
Old 02-28-2009, 02:12 PM   #4
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dreams in neon HB Userdreams in neon HB User
Re: Someone Help Please.

I'm not a psychiatrist, but what you've described neither sounds like schizophrenia or bipolar to me. It sounds more like borderline personality disorder (BPD). At any rate, I would have him see a psychiatrist ASAP for a full evaluation.
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Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
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Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

 
Old 02-28-2009, 06:14 PM   #5
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Re: Someone Help Please.

I'd go with what Dreams said, she knows a heckuva lot more about other mental diagnoses besides BP than I do.

kat

 
Old 02-28-2009, 06:34 PM   #6
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Re: Someone Help Please.

Thank you all for your opinions. I forgot to mention that my husband does have times where he withdraws from people. He has no friends. Only us and his parents. He is staying with his parents now. I have begged him to get help and he says he has no problem. I hope the classes that the court orders him to go to will help him. He is ordered by the court to stay away from us for six months. Calling the law on him was last last option but I had to for me, him, and both of my kids. All help is very much welcomed.

 
Old 03-01-2009, 02:36 PM   #7
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kathryn00 HB User
Re: Someone Help Please.

it seems to me that you are ready to take a stand. if you want to wait to see how the classes go, i would put a time limit on him afterwards.

hope he is ready for some help. it will be a long road. just keep your foot down.

 
Old 03-01-2009, 02:47 PM   #8
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: Someone Help Please.

If it was me in your shoes I would still make it a condition that he had to go and get evaluated by a pdoc before he could come home. But that's just my opinion.

kat

 
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