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Old 03-21-2009, 03:35 PM   #1
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friend with mental illness

My friend is depressed, can never be wrong, is narcissistic,always angry, jealous, bitter, holds grudges. Is 70 years old with no friends. Her father committed suicide, her mother had been admitted to psych hospitals many times, and her son is diagnosed as bi-polar. Doctors have put her on anti-depressants(multiple) and anti-anxiety agents and nothing is helping. what could be wrong with her?

 
Old 03-21-2009, 08:27 PM   #2
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Re: friend with mental illness

What kind of docs are putting her on the anti d's and anti anxiety meds? If they are Psychiatrists what do they say is the reasoning for this?

 
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Old 03-21-2009, 09:01 PM   #3
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Re: friend with mental illness

Is this new in her, or has she always been this way?

Just from what you say, it sounds as though she is majorly depressed. Certainly she should be with a good doctor. Has she seen a psychiatrist, preferably one specializing in older people?

Has she been thoroughly checked out physically?

It's good of you to write on her behalf.

Seaturtle

 
Old 03-22-2009, 02:26 PM   #4
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Re: friend with mental illness

Psychiatrist. He says she is depressed. The anti-anxiety meds are for her stress.

 
Old 03-22-2009, 07:49 PM   #5
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Re: friend with mental illness

Those are behaviors somewhat consistent with depression but my guess is that it could be mixed with learned living as well.

Try not to fix her unless shes requesting your help or you might wear yourself out and ruin a friendship.

 
Old 03-22-2009, 09:44 PM   #6
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Re: friend with mental illness

hmmmm...if she's already under the care of a pdoc i'm not sure what else you're trying to diagnose and correct. It sounds like she already has a diagnosis. Like the previous poster said...it might be a better idea just to try and be her friend and support her through this hard time and see if things improve as she gets used to the medication.

kat

 
Old 03-23-2009, 10:55 AM   #7
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Re: friend with mental illness

She has been majorly depressed for years. there is a history of mental illness in her family. Her daughter died two years ago, she had cancer twice (two unrelated cancers), has a bi-polar son who ignores her and no friends to speak of. I cannot talk to her about anything because she explodes. Due to HIPPA I cannot even call her psychiatrist and she won't tell me his name. I think she hides facts from her doctor. I fear that she is suicidal.

 
Old 03-23-2009, 11:02 AM   #8
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Re: friend with mental illness

I think that is good advice. Thanks.

 
Old 03-23-2009, 02:12 PM   #9
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Re: friend with mental illness

even without Heppa, I would totally advice against calling her pdoc if you ever do get his name. I think she would see this as a major invasion into her privacy. The one thing that makes alot of us finally decide to go to a pdoc or tdoc is that we know that nobody will be privy to what goes on in that room. If we thought for a second that someone could go and find out what was said there, we'd stop going in a heartbeat. One thing you might do, if you learn his name, is maybe send him a letter just highlighting some things you think she may not be telling him, without the expectation of talking to him or receiving a return letter.

I really think that until she decides to relax some and share with you, you may just have to wait and just be her friend and hope that she'll trust you enough to confide in you. Hopefully once her meds work that will happen. She has been through a heckuva lot and just the fact that she's willing to get help and preserve your friendship.....she is one very brave and strong lady.

kat

 
Old 03-24-2009, 11:10 AM   #10
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Re: friend with mental illness

Yes, I agree with everything you say. I am worried about suicide as she is totally socially isolated and "not acting right" as we speak. I do know her primary care doc's name but have not done anything with that as I do not want to violate her in any way. I want her to get the help she needs but fear this won't happen as she doctor shops and no one ever gets to the bottom of her problem.

 
Old 03-24-2009, 12:00 PM   #11
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Re: friend with mental illness

Suicidal intentions are very scary to deal with, as my family has had to deal with them many times, I'm sad to say with me as the cause. If you really think that there is a possibilty of this then perhaps you should contact her GP. Why is she so isolated? Do you not see her often? that may sound accusatory I do not mean it to, just cound't figure out how to ask it...

kat

 
Old 03-24-2009, 01:11 PM   #12
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Re: friend with mental illness

Because, she has isolated everyone and has no friends or family. I am at home without a car. she won't spend the money for gas to drive across town. If I were to notify her primary that would be forever on her record and I don't want to do that. She hung up on me two days in a row. Yesterday because I said I was buying this condo and she said it wasn't a condo that it was a townhouse. I explained that "condo" which I am buying is a legal type of ownership. Because I did not agree with her she severed communication. This is why she has no friends. this behavior has been repeated over and over and now no one will talk to her. She said a few days ago that if she was going to die early in life she wished that it would just hurry up. She has no joy and no reason for being these days. This last statement is my statement as to how she is acting. She didn't say that but that is how she acts. This is a tough situation to deal with.

 
Old 03-24-2009, 02:12 PM   #13
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Re: friend with mental illness

Well honestly from what you said that doesn't sound like a threat of suicide...more of just a way to get a rise out of you. I know the type of person your dealing with, you could be describing my mother word for word. About the only thing you can do is try not to argue with her on the phone, don't give her the satisfaction. If she continues to to pick at everything you say, then just ignore it and go to a different subject. Hopefully she'll get the message that you aren't going to play her games. What we finally had to do with my mom, was finally just say, "I'll talk/visit with you, but you need to quit being intentionally nasty because I've not done anything to you." Not sure that will work in your situation. I do know that if she doesn't stop she will end up running you away also, you may say no, I'll never leave her, but my sister and I once said that about our mother also, and now neither of us have anything to do with her, for various reasons.

I'm sorry i can't give you anymore "proactive" advice.

kat

 
Old 03-24-2009, 02:48 PM   #14
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Re: friend with mental illness

Thanks. We'll see what fall out.

 
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