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Old 04-01-2009, 09:54 AM   #1
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wilkdawg HB User
You Are Not A Disorder

Friends,

This is just a thought, hopefully a constructive one, that I keep coming back to as I read a lot of posts. I know it is conducive to easier communication to have abbreviations and shared glossary terms. However, it also really makes it sound as if you are limited or restricted to expressing yourself in terms defined by not just the illness but the even narrower scope of medicine and doctors. I see a lot of posts with long accompanying threads where it seems instability of health/treatment always comes up along with an almost obsessive focus on the disorder in a vacuum along with meds and doctors.

Try to remember these things. The tool used to perceive illness is the very thing that is ill. This is what sets our predicament apart from most others. Second, we are not the illness. The illness is part of us. There is nothing wrong with us. There isn't even anything wrong with our mind. It is the brain, the tool, the instrument, the organ, the machine, etc. Granted, this organ is tied to much of our existence. But it is JUST the tool and it is ALL that is disabled. Since we are led to believe that our brain is the center of life, it's being disabled easily derails our lives. However, is it really so hard to consider that perhaps our mind and/or our emotions are not exclusive to any thing or place on this physical plane. Im not suggesting or limiting this to any particular spirituality or philosophy. I simply think it is reasonable to consider ALL of our components when one is malfunctioning, ESPECIALLY if it is something so commonly placed at the center of everything as the brain.

Consider this: Our heart, the entity, has nothing to do with our actual heart, the organ. So, who's to say our mind, the entity, is tied to our brain, the organ. Once again, the brain is the tool which we use to perceive everything in our finite existence as well as anything infinite and beyond. It is limited and finite to begin with. No one can claim different, mentally ill or not. This perspective can truly remove this disruptive disorder from popping up everywhere in our lives to taking its own limited and REAL place in our lives. Take it from me, every day we wake up, it will try again to demand all of our attention, like a child. But our mind sires many children. All are entitled to our attention. You can tell this one to wait its turn. Trust me. I know it takes over our lives. But its YOUR life. Not the disorder's. You're the boss.

I was inspired to write this because in some way, I recognize patterns in people and in systems. A messageboard for people with bipolar disorder can be a highly effective weapon in the arsenal we all must build to fight this nuisance. However, if it seems to be serving the illness, we must step back and realize that that is just what the illness wants. It wants all of our attention and energy until we have nothing to give and start to lose whats left of our hope and willpower. Let's not ever let these boards be entirely taken over by fruitless dwelling on meds and doctors. They ARE a part of the illness which, like I said, is part of you. But just as the disorder is not you, meds/doctors are not the disorder. They are one facet. To survive and flourish, I have built quite an arsenal against my disorder and meds/doctors is just one of many weapons/tactics. It is my sincerest hope that any insight I have gained into this bipolar experience will take on its own flight into the worlds of others fending off similar demons. My support and best wishes to you all.

John Wilkey

Last edited by wilkdawg; 04-01-2009 at 09:58 AM.

 
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Old 04-01-2009, 10:42 AM   #2
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Re: You Are Not A Disorder

Do you have bipolar? The reason I ask is because it seems your not understanding the disorder. The purpose of this forum is to connect with others and share with others who experience the same things. It's been therapeutic for me to listen to others stories and to share my own. The mind and the brain are very much connected, and not giving attention to the disorder is called denial. Denying there is something wrong, and yes there is something wrong with us, only causes more harm. To get through this disorder, and to maintain a good quality of life, doctors and medications are needed. I'm not sure you fully understand what we go through, and that we cannot control our symptoms by simply ignoring them. I'm not trying to sound rude, as that's not how I intend this, but I don't think that your post is inaccurate for how much of us feel here.

Last edited by caitlin122; 04-01-2009 at 12:24 PM.

 
Old 04-01-2009, 11:32 AM   #3
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Llama HB User
Re: You Are Not A Disorder

This message board is supposed to be filled with many posts about people and their stories with bipolar disorder, the meds, and the doctors, etc.

I am not trying to speak for everyone but I know for myself and I am guessing a lot of the others, this is the only place where we can come to vent or even discuss the disorder with people who understand what we are going through. I'm not going to come on here and discuss my problems with my boyfriend or anything because that would not be appropriate to this board (unless my bipolar had something to do with the problems). That is why it seems like this board is skewed with people only talking about bipolar, meds, docs, etc. It is the only safe place many of us have to talk about this disorder.

 
Old 04-01-2009, 02:58 PM   #4
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Re: You Are Not A Disorder

Unfortunately I think that you're going to get alot of these types of responses. I'm sure you mean well, but you don' get what were here for it seems.

I know you've posted here before and I thought you had BP, but now I'm wondering if my memory is correct.

99% of us don't have people in our "real time" lives that we can go to and talk about our BiPolar problems because they don't understand and even if they read books and research the internet, they will never understand. 80% don't go to support groups in "real time" because we have some kind of social phobia or social anxiety and we can't be around groups of people. So this is were we come to meet with others who have BiPolar and share our thought, our joys, our sorrows, our battles with doctors, medicines, therapists, types of therapies, etc. We come here to talk about our victories and our defeats.

We don't consider ourselves a "DISORDER" we know that we are seperate from the Disorders that we have no matter what they are, but we also know what if we did not have these forums, for which to discuss said disorders alot of us would be far worse for wear.

kat

Last edited by katlin09; 04-01-2009 at 07:40 PM.

 
Old 04-01-2009, 07:35 PM   #5
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Re: You Are Not A Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by katlin09 View Post
Unfortunately I think that you're going to get alot of these types of responses. I'm sure you mean well, but you don' get what were here for it seems.

I know you've posted here before and I thought you had BP, but now I'm wondering if my memory is correct.

99% of us don't have people in our "real time" lives that we can go to and talk about our BiPolar problems because they dont' understand and even if they read books and research the internet, they will never understand. 80% don't go to support groups in "real time" because we have some kind of social phobia or social anxiety and we can't be around groups of people. So this is were we come to meet with others who have BiPolar and share our thought, our joys, our sorrows, our battles with doctors, medicines, therapists, types of therpies, etc. We come here to talk about our victories and our defeats.

We don't consider ourselves a "DISORDER" we know that we are seperate from the Disorders that we have no matter what they are, but we also know what if we did not have these forums, for which to discuss said disorders alot of us would be far worse for wear.

kat
I couldn't have said it better myself. Good post, Kat!
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

 
Old 04-01-2009, 07:41 PM   #6
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dreams in neon HB Userdreams in neon HB User
Re: You Are Not A Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrwilkey View Post
Friends,

This is just a thought, hopefully a constructive one, that I keep coming back to as I read a lot of posts. I know it is conducive to easier communication to have abbreviations and shared glossary terms. However, it also really makes it sound as if you are limited or restricted to expressing yourself in terms defined by not just the illness but the even narrower scope of medicine and doctors. I see a lot of posts with long accompanying threads where it seems instability of health/treatment always comes up along with an almost obsessive focus on the disorder in a vacuum along with meds and doctors.

Try to remember these things. The tool used to perceive illness is the very thing that is ill. This is what sets our predicament apart from most others. Second, we are not the illness. The illness is part of us. There is nothing wrong with us. There isn't even anything wrong with our mind. It is the brain, the tool, the instrument, the organ, the machine, etc. Granted, this organ is tied to much of our existence. But it is JUST the tool and it is ALL that is disabled. Since we are led to believe that our brain is the center of life, it's being disabled easily derails our lives. However, is it really so hard to consider that perhaps our mind and/or our emotions are not exclusive to any thing or place on this physical plane. Im not suggesting or limiting this to any particular spirituality or philosophy. I simply think it is reasonable to consider ALL of our components when one is malfunctioning, ESPECIALLY if it is something so commonly placed at the center of everything as the brain.

Consider this: Our heart, the entity, has nothing to do with our actual heart, the organ. So, who's to say our mind, the entity, is tied to our brain, the organ. Once again, the brain is the tool which we use to perceive everything in our finite existence as well as anything infinite and beyond. It is limited and finite to begin with. No one can claim different, mentally ill or not. This perspective can truly remove this disruptive disorder from popping up everywhere in our lives to taking its own limited and REAL place in our lives. Take it from me, every day we wake up, it will try again to demand all of our attention, like a child. But our mind sires many children. All are entitled to our attention. You can tell this one to wait its turn. Trust me. I know it takes over our lives. But its YOUR life. Not the disorder's. You're the boss.

I was inspired to write this because in some way, I recognize patterns in people and in systems. A messageboard for people with bipolar disorder can be a highly effective weapon in the arsenal we all must build to fight this nuisance. However, if it seems to be serving the illness, we must step back and realize that that is just what the illness wants. It wants all of our attention and energy until we have nothing to give and start to lose whats left of our hope and willpower. Let's not ever let these boards be entirely taken over by fruitless dwelling on meds and doctors. They ARE a part of the illness which, like I said, is part of you. But just as the disorder is not you, meds/doctors are not the disorder. They are one facet. To survive and flourish, I have built quite an arsenal against my disorder and meds/doctors is just one of many weapons/tactics. It is my sincerest hope that any insight I have gained into this bipolar experience will take on its own flight into the worlds of others fending off similar demons. My support and best wishes to you all.

John Wilkey
I had difficulty understanding some parts of your post, but let me say this in response to the sections I understood: I come to this board for support. I don't have anyone in my family who understands what it means to have BP except for 2 individuals. I don't have alot of friends who understand BP either.

Thanks to this board, I've made many wonderful friends who know what it's like to have BP.

No offense, but I consider my pdoc, tdoc and meds to be a vital part of my disorder. If it weren't for my meds, therapy or meetings with my pdoc, I'd never survive.

There's a difference between constantly focusing on our illness vs. taking an active role to deal with it the best we can. I think most people on the board are doing the latter.

I too, am curious to know whether or not you have BP. If so, I would hope that you'd have a better understanding of how significant a disorder BP is and how much of an impact it can have on someone's life. If you don't, I suggest that you educate yourself on what BP is.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

Last edited by dreams in neon; 04-01-2009 at 07:42 PM.

 
Old 04-01-2009, 07:48 PM   #7
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caitlin122 HB User
Re: You Are Not A Disorder

Kat, Dreams and Llama,
All great posts!

 
Old 04-01-2009, 07:53 PM   #8
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dreams in neon HB Userdreams in neon HB User
Re: You Are Not A Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by caitlin122 View Post
Kat, Dreams and Llama,
All great posts!
You wrote an excellent post as well, caitlin!

I hope the OP will let us know if he has BP because I'm curious.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

 
Old 04-01-2009, 07:56 PM   #9
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caitlin122 HB User
Re: You Are Not A Disorder

Dreams,
I'm very curious at this point too. I think many people in this world still need so much more education than they think they have about BP and mental illness in general.

 
Old 04-01-2009, 07:59 PM   #10
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dreams in neon HB Userdreams in neon HB User
Re: You Are Not A Disorder

I agree, caitlin. I've been in the mental health system for 18 years and although many things have improved for the better, we still have a long way to go.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

 
Old 04-01-2009, 08:33 PM   #11
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: You Are Not A Disorder

Guys here is a post he put under a thread titled, "guess i'm out of my league"

irony: ive made a few posts addressing the topic of boundaries, something taught to me the first time I was ever in a clinic. the idea that each individual's plight is valid and not to be compared with others. Well, I have a feeling this board and its posters dont understand that concept. Im out of my league. I take Lithium, Klonepan, Seroquel and Paxil. Thats the first time Ive listed my meds and Im doing it to get a response. But it's not enough, huh? My case is not colorful enough. No cutting or hallucinations. ill try and do better. I drank and verbally abused the woman I love. i may have lost her for good. im just going to wade through the pain and sadness. maybe im just a masochist.

John


He's posted several times before....

Last edited by katlin09; 04-01-2009 at 08:33 PM.

 
Old 04-01-2009, 08:41 PM   #12
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caitlin122 HB User
Re: You Are Not A Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by katlin09 View Post
Guys here is a post he put under a thread titled, "guess i'm out of my league"

irony: ive made a few posts addressing the topic of boundaries, something taught to me the first time I was ever in a clinic. the idea that each individual's plight is valid and not to be compared with others. Well, I have a feeling this board and its posters dont understand that concept. Im out of my league. I take Lithium, Klonepan, Seroquel and Paxil. Thats the first time Ive listed my meds and Im doing it to get a response. But it's not enough, huh? My case is not colorful enough. No cutting or hallucinations. ill try and do better. I drank and verbally abused the woman I love. i may have lost her for good. im just going to wade through the pain and sadness. maybe im just a masochist.

John


He's posted several times before....
Hmmm...very interesting. I guess he just views things differently than us here. To each it's own...I guess.

 
Old 04-01-2009, 08:44 PM   #13
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Re: You Are Not A Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by katlin09 View Post
Guys here is a post he put under a thread titled, "guess i'm out of my league"

irony: ive made a few posts addressing the topic of boundaries, something taught to me the first time I was ever in a clinic. the idea that each individual's plight is valid and not to be compared with others. Well, I have a feeling this board and its posters dont understand that concept. Im out of my league. I take Lithium, Klonepan, Seroquel and Paxil. Thats the first time Ive listed my meds and Im doing it to get a response. But it's not enough, huh? My case is not colorful enough. No cutting or hallucinations. ill try and do better. I drank and verbally abused the woman I love. i may have lost her for good. im just going to wade through the pain and sadness. maybe im just a masochist.

John


He's posted several times before....
Like caitlin says, to each their own.

I happen to strongly disagree with John, but that's my opinion.

What I have difficulty understanding is why someone who feels the rest of us are so engaged in our illnesses posts on a board like this in the first place.

Hmmm...
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

 
Old 04-01-2009, 08:45 PM   #14
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Llama HB User
Re: You Are Not A Disorder

Thanks! You had a great post as well caitlin!

 
Old 04-01-2009, 08:48 PM   #15
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Llama HB User
Re: You Are Not A Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by dreams in neon View Post

What I have difficulty understanding is why someone who feels the rest of us are so engaged in our illnesses posts on a board like this in the first place.

Hmmm...
Exactly!


And btw his other post is a strange post. But who am I to judge I guess! To each his own, you guys are right on the money.

Last edited by Llama; 04-01-2009 at 08:48 PM.

 
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