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Old 04-06-2009, 03:11 AM   #1
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Have Any of You Felt This Way Before?

Hi everyone,

I'm hypomanic right now and my moods are cycling all over the place. I started out feeling happy earlier tonight, but now I feel lonely.

I was watching a movie on TV where people were laughing in the company of friends and I started thinking about how long it's been since I was able to laugh with my friends. Then I started to cry. I held Tigger close to me and cried for a good hour and a half.

Since I've withdrawn from school for the spring semester, I no longer see my friends. Many of them live on the other side of town and because of that, I don't see them very often. I don't want to ask them to drive to my home because it's 15 miles away. I could call them, but I hate talking on the phone.

I can't stand the way I'm feeling right now. I'd rather be depressed because at least I know how that feels and it doesn't last long.

Sometimes I wish I could take everyone I know here and invite all of you to my home so we could have a huge party.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

 
Old 04-06-2009, 06:16 AM   #2
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Re: Have Any of You Felt This Way Before?

Aww Dreams, yes i have felt that way, and feel that way. Well, not the manic part, but the depressed and lonely part... I know it sucks to really miss friends, and to have no one close to you. All of my friends currently live at least one state away, and since my diagnoses of depression and start of treatment i have lost a very good friend. I'm sorry dreams. <<hugs>>
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Old 04-06-2009, 06:54 AM   #3
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Re: Have Any of You Felt This Way Before?

I felt like that hundreds of times...lonely, sad and crying when depressed. When I lived in NY I had no friend and my Lives in Alabama. Now I am living in Arkansas close enough I could drive but that is 10 hrs and I am scared to try it alone. Because of racing thoughts and my attention span is not very long. Since my sister moved Lousianna I have only my husband who at times works 12 hour shifts.
Hope your feeling better soon hun. And you know ...some of those friends may not find a 15 minute trip too bad and they would love to come see you.
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Old 04-06-2009, 02:51 PM   #4
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Re: Have Any of You Felt This Way Before?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dreams in neon View Post
Hi everyone,

I'm hypomanic right now and my moods are cycling all over the place. I started out feeling happy earlier tonight, but now I feel lonely.

I was watching a movie on TV where people were laughing in the company of friends and I started thinking about how long it's been since I was able to laugh with my friends. Then I started to cry. I held Tigger close to me and cried for a good hour and a half.

Since I've withdrawn from school for the spring semester, I no longer see my friends. Many of them live on the other side of town and because of that, I don't see them very often. I don't want to ask them to drive to my home because it's 15 miles away. I could call them, but I hate talking on the phone.

I can't stand the way I'm feeling right now. I'd rather be depressed because at least I know how that feels and it doesn't last long.

Sometimes I wish I could take everyone I know here and invite all of you to my home so we could have a huge party.
Its great to hear dreams that you at least have friends. My anxiety is so strong that its been hard for me to make friends. I lost all of my old ones ever since the depression and the psychosis started. Along with the social anxiety ofcourse. Just wondering but whats so bad about calling someone. You can at least be able to keep in touch with your friends and if you don't want to have to cause them the trouble to drive 15 miles how about you ask whether you could visit them. Just a suggestion thats all.
__________________
Diagnosis: social anxiety disorder,PTSD, schizoaffective disorder, avoidant personality disorder, panic disorder

Meds: Clonazepam 4mg, Seroquel 200mg

 
Old 04-06-2009, 03:54 PM   #5
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Re: Have Any of You Felt This Way Before?

dreams, I know it is easier said than done, but could you try to call a friend? I am sure that they are missing you just as much as you are missing them. But maybe they feel like they wouldn't know what to say. But once you guys get together again it will probably just be like any old time and as if things had never changed. I hope you will try to email or call them, even though I know it is very scary at first.

 
Old 04-06-2009, 03:58 PM   #6
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Re: Have Any of You Felt This Way Before?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dreams in neon View Post
Hi everyone,

I'm hypomanic right now and my moods are cycling all over the place. I started out feeling happy earlier tonight, but now I feel lonely.

I was watching a movie on TV where people were laughing in the company of friends and I started thinking about how long it's been since I was able to laugh with my friends. Then I started to cry. I held Tigger close to me and cried for a good hour and a half.

Since I've withdrawn from school for the spring semester, I no longer see my friends. Many of them live on the other side of town and because of that, I don't see them very often. I don't want to ask them to drive to my home because it's 15 miles away. I could call them, but I hate talking on the phone.

I can't stand the way I'm feeling right now. I'd rather be depressed because at least I know how that feels and it doesn't last long.

Sometimes I wish I could take everyone I know here and invite all of you to my home so we could have a huge party.
Dreams,
I totally sympathize with you...and yes a huge party is what we all deserve! Together! I have noticed when I'm hypomanic, tv hugely affects my mood. If I watch a sad episode of any show, I'll be crying for a half hour, like you did. If I watch a really funny show, I'm laughing my a** off! I'm a hugely effected by what type of show I'm watching. It's almost as if I compare my life with that of the character and feel their pain. I know...it's strange, but what I seem to connect emotionally with what I watch....maybe that means I watch too much T.V...lol. Anyway, feeling lonely is one of the worst feelings, and I hope that feeling leaves you soon, as no one should have to feel alone. You are never alone here, you always have us.

 
Old 04-06-2009, 04:03 PM   #7
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Re: Have Any of You Felt This Way Before?

Quote:
Originally Posted by under View Post
Its great to hear dreams that you at least have friends. My anxiety is so strong that its been hard for me to make friends. I lost all of my old ones ever since the depression and the psychosis started. Along with the social anxiety ofcourse. Just wondering but whats so bad about calling someone. You can at least be able to keep in touch with your friends and if you don't want to have to cause them the trouble to drive 15 miles how about you ask whether you could visit them. Just a suggestion thats all.
Under,
I'm sorry you feel so lonely. No one should ever have to feel that way. It's sad that your old friends could not see past the disorder and be there for you to help. I know what you mean about having a hard time making new friends. Anxiety really stinks. I dislike meeting new people because of my anxiety. I always have very irrational thoughts running through my head about what they will think of me. I put way too much thought into and energy too. I always look at outgoing people and know that they don't have these thoughts, and how easy it is for them, and it makes me so jealous. But the friends I do have are wonderful and supportive. If you can get out there and meet a few people and you find good friends...hold onto them tight. Maybe joining a support group in your area would be a good way to make a few new friends...I know, the thought of going to the support group is anxiety causing, but if you can get past the first time going and feel comfortable, it may be worth if for you. And like I said to Dreams, you always have friends here.

 
Old 04-06-2009, 04:57 PM   #8
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dreams in neon HB Userdreams in neon HB User
Re: Have Any of You Felt This Way Before?

Quote:
Originally Posted by under View Post
Its great to hear dreams that you at least have friends. My anxiety is so strong that its been hard for me to make friends. I lost all of my old ones ever since the depression and the psychosis started. Along with the social anxiety ofcourse. Just wondering but whats so bad about calling someone. You can at least be able to keep in touch with your friends and if you don't want to have to cause them the trouble to drive 15 miles how about you ask whether you could visit them. Just a suggestion thats all.
under,

You may not know this, but I have 7 different types of paranoia, so it's very difficult for me to make friends too. If truth be told, I haven't made a new friend in 4 years. Most of the people I know are those who've known me for 20 years or more. I've lost alot of friends too after I started feeling severely depressed and hearing voices in 1991. I've also had friends leave me after I lost my hearing in 1995. I don't dare tell anyone about my bipolar for fear of them leaving me just like everyone else has.

What's so bad about calling someone on the phone is the fact that I don't like talking on the phone. I hate it and avoid the phone whenever possible. I keep the answering machine on 24/7 and don't answer the phone unless I know who is calling.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

Last edited by dreams in neon; 04-06-2009 at 05:00 PM.

 
Old 04-06-2009, 05:03 PM   #9
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dreams in neon HB Userdreams in neon HB User
Re: Have Any of You Felt This Way Before?

Quote:
Originally Posted by caitlin122 View Post
Dreams,
I totally sympathize with you...and yes a huge party is what we all deserve! Together! I have noticed when I'm hypomanic, tv hugely affects my mood. If I watch a sad episode of any show, I'll be crying for a half hour, like you did. If I watch a really funny show, I'm laughing my a** off! I'm a hugely effected by what type of show I'm watching. It's almost as if I compare my life with that of the character and feel their pain. I know...it's strange, but what I seem to connect emotionally with what I watch....maybe that means I watch too much T.V...lol. Anyway, feeling lonely is one of the worst feelings, and I hope that feeling leaves you soon, as no one should have to feel alone. You are never alone here, you always have us.
Thanks, caitlin!

I'm the same way when it comes to TV. That's why I can't watch the news because it affects me way too much. The movie I was watching that made me cry was actually a happy movie, but it saddened me because everyone was having such a good time with their friends. It made me miss the good old days of high school when I used to attend Homecoming, Prom as well as school dances with my boyfriend and girlfriends -- and sit around the lunch table laughing as if I didn't have a care in the world. If I could go back to my high school days, I would in a heartbeat. That doesn't even include all of the extra-curricular activities I participated in. High school was one of the best times of my life.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

 
Old 04-06-2009, 05:25 PM   #10
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Re: Have Any of You Felt This Way Before?

Dreams, I can understand that. I do have a fear of using phones too. Although it has gotten better since I was put on anxiety meds. I still get a bad fear feeling in my stomach though sometimes.

 
Old 04-06-2009, 05:34 PM   #11
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Re: Have Any of You Felt This Way Before?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelinchat2 View Post
I felt like that hundreds of times...lonely, sad and crying when depressed. When I lived in NY I had no friend and my Lives in Alabama. Now I am living in Arkansas close enough I could drive but that is 10 hrs and I am scared to try it alone. Because of racing thoughts and my attention span is not very long. Since my sister moved Lousianna I have only my husband who at times works 12 hour shifts.
Hope your feeling better soon hun. And you know ...some of those friends may not find a 15 minute trip too bad and they would love to come see you.
Jenay,

What do you do that you have to move around so much? That must be really really rough on the BP front for you?

kat

 
Old 04-06-2009, 05:42 PM   #12
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light the world HB User
Re: Have Any of You Felt This Way Before?

Quote:
Originally Posted by caitlin122 View Post
Under,
I'm sorry you feel so lonely. No one should ever have to feel that way. It's sad that your old friends could not see past the disorder and be there for you to help. I know what you mean about having a hard time making new friends. Anxiety really stinks. I dislike meeting new people because of my anxiety. I always have very irrational thoughts running through my head about what they will think of me. I put way too much thought into and energy too. I always look at outgoing people and know that they don't have these thoughts, and how easy it is for them, and it makes me so jealous. But the friends I do have are wonderful and supportive. If you can get out there and meet a few people and you find good friends...hold onto them tight. Maybe joining a support group in your area would be a good way to make a few new friends...I know, the thought of going to the support group is anxiety causing, but if you can get past the first time going and feel comfortable, it may be worth if for you. And like I said to Dreams, you always have friends here.
Thanks for being understanding. It is true that I could join a support group. I do know of one that involves people with depression and anxiety in the area. I could always try it.
__________________
Diagnosis: social anxiety disorder,PTSD, schizoaffective disorder, avoidant personality disorder, panic disorder

Meds: Clonazepam 4mg, Seroquel 200mg

Last edited by light the world; 04-06-2009 at 05:42 PM.

 
Old 04-06-2009, 05:45 PM   #13
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Re: Have Any of You Felt This Way Before?

I can't watch the news either...the stories are either sad or bad. Everything on the news is negative. I wish I could say the same about high school, but I hated high school. I made a lot of bad choices, which was propably due to my bp, which was undiagnosed at the time, so high school was ruff for me. But I do know what you mean about going back to the time of innocence where we didn't have to deal with this disorder and we could enjoy life, have fun, and not too many worries. Those days are long gone. But, we deal the with cards we are dealt, and to be honest, we are probably so much more emotionally stonger than any normal person out there for what we have been through. We have all been to hell and back, but we wake up everyday, and keep trying. I feel your emotions Dreams, as I have felt the very same thing many times.

 
Old 04-06-2009, 05:52 PM   #14
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light the world HB User
Re: Have Any of You Felt This Way Before?

Quote:
Originally Posted by caitlin122 View Post
Under, Maybe joining a support group in your area would be a good way to make a few new friends...I know, the thought of going to the support group is anxiety causing, but if you can get past the first time going and feel comfortable, it may be worth if for you. And like I said to Dreams, you always have friends here.
Has anyone ever been in a support group. Just wondering but what exactly is it like. Is there a therapist there or is it completely just people with what your going through?
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Meds: Clonazepam 4mg, Seroquel 200mg

 
Old 04-06-2009, 05:54 PM   #15
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Re: Have Any of You Felt This Way Before?

I haven't been, but I know Dreams recently went to one, and she said it was good, and she really like it and felt comfortable. I was thinking of going to one, but anxiety overcame me, but after chatting with Dreams, I am seriously reconsidering my attempt at going. She said everyone there was nice and supportive. I think at support groups there are moderators, those who start the meeting and moderate, but mostly the group members do the talking and the supporting. I would ask Dreams for more advice on this, as she went to one last week.

 
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