its been two months since i last saw my pdoc and to know that i will never see him again is devestating. i feel lost, deserted, afraid, lonely, hurt, and sad. i want to cry and scream. i want to call him, hear his voice again, talk to him. how am i going to get through this? why did he have to leave? so what i have another pdoc. it isn't the same. i've been seeing my pdoc for three years every three weeks. i miss him, i need him and i want him back. i have no idea where he is, only that he took another job elsewhere. i've known that he was leaving about four months before he did but i kept denying it to myself. now he is gone and i don't know how to deal with it. i feel miserable.
when i went to my knew pdoc all i did was cry but i didn't tell him it was because i missed my old pdoc. instead i blamed it on other things. i don't know why i didn't tell him, i think that i'm imbarrassed to feel this way.
if i don't stop here i will go on and on with this. just needed to let everything out.
sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time...that is precisely why we have such strict ethical boundaries here in south africa..doctors make sure that patients don't get the opportunity to become dependant on them..i know it probably feels like you will never get through this, but trust me, you will, it's gonna take time though...
i urge you to take this experience and learn from it..i beleive that it is very important for bp people to have a drawn up chart of all people in your support network with clearly defined roles and you should stick to it, this will give you the opportunity to not get dependant on your new pdoc and rather rely on close friends or family for personal support, pdocs are there to diagnose and prescribe in a medical capacity...
this is just my opinion and how i would deal with similar situation...
DId your pdoc go out of state? Or is he still in the same town. Just a thought. I got a letter once when I was seeing this psychologist that he was leaving and it didn't say where to. I don't know how I came across it, but I found out that he was just at a different clinic in town. I never did go back to see him though lol.
Last edited by moderator2; 04-13-2009 at 06:35 PM.
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I feel for you I know how awful the transitions can be.
over the summer my pdoc had to take over my therapy because my tdoc was on med leave for 4 months, when it came to changing back, I was so anxious, stressed and haing panic attacks, it was awful....and this was my normal tdoc that I was going back to. It took a while to ease me away from my pdocs way of doin thing to getting back into my tdocs way of doing things, but after 2 months things were pretty much back to normal.
thanks everyone for responding, i will somehow get through this it would help if i at least saw my pdoc more often, i saw him once and won't see him again for six weeks.
im glad im not the only one to feel this way. i thought that maybe i was alone. your not supposed to get so attached to your pdoc.
anyway im feeling better today at least for now
I know exactly how you feel.
My old pdoc recommended that I find another pdoc because he thought my case of bipolar was too difficult for him to treat.
I ended up calling his office yesterday to find out if I could see him again and he agreed, so I have an appointment on Monday.
I don't think there's anything bad about having a close professional relationship with your pdoc. This is certainly the case for me when it comes to my old pdoc. He's compassionate, caring and is one of the best pdocs I've ever had which is a large part of the reason why I called to find out if I could start seeing him again.
By the way, I feel the same way about my tdoc. When the day comes that I need to find another, I will feel depressed and my next tdoc will have a very tough act to follow.
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN
Last edited by dreams in neon; 04-10-2009 at 07:27 AM.
thank you i really appreciate all your understanding. it means alot to me. although i don't believe that i will ever get over him, hopefully it'll at least get easier. my heart aches just thinking about him. i really really miss him.