I hate hiding being bp. I'm a very open person, but this is not something "unsafe" people should know. I've not even told a few close friends. The only ones I'll tell are the ones who also struggle. No one else gets it. Esp the older generation, at least the ones I'm related to by marriage... Of course, I'll not tell many relatives. Thankfully, there are a handful of safe ones.
The problem is, I'm under a lot of demands right now, and I'm starting to crack. Something's gotta give. But what?
At least I'm sleeping OK the last 2 nights. Off riserdal. But will I continue to?
My positive hypomania is changing into edginess. I'm feeling squirrly.
What I really hate is that if people find out, they might not take me seriously. Also, they'll give me a wide berth. I still have something to say, to add, etc.
I know how you feel. It is very scary telling anyone that you have bp because you don't know how they will respond. With the stigma out there attached to mental illness, you never know who believes what. Being under a lot of stress is so hard to maintain a "normal" sense of being. I would at least let others know the demands you are under so they can at least understand stress. Hang in there! Hopefully things will get better soon.
I hate when you mention to someone that you're bipolar and they say, "Oh, everyone's bipolar."! I've heard this from several people. It's like our illness is nothing.
I also don't tell anyone. It's my mom who tells people. I even try to keep it from my stepdaughter. She's only 9. I try to explain to her about my moods and she knows I take alot of meds, but I tell her it's to remain in the family. I don't want it geting back to her mom. We don't mention the word bipolar in our house.
Elf Ears, I understand what you say about people not taking you seriously if they knew.
Know that your not alone and we're all in the same boat. Unfortunately I know this doesn't solve the problems you face, but know that you can come here and vent with us.
Sometimes I regret that I've told my tdoc, *lol* how twisted is that, just because I don't want to talk about it.
at least you know not to tell "unsafe" people as you call them. For the first 4 yrs after I was diagnosed, I told everyone. I was so open and wanted to educate people about it since it is becoming treated as the "next ADD" and overdiagnosed. Especially when I was hypomanic- I was on a crusade to change public opinion and be the face of mental illness in young people! I laugh about it now, but a lot of pain resulted from my openess.
I honetly don't think you can educate people about BP or the other mental disorders that stem from it...they don't want tobe educated, they just want to be "right" in their psychosocial mentalities that we are all "nuts".
This is exactly why I don't tell people I have bipolar. Only 3 people in my family know (my 2 sisters and a neice) and 2 friends whom I've known for over 20 years. I'm afraid that if I tell others about my bipolar, they won't understand and will simply regard me as a "friend who has bipolar" rather than seeing me for the real person I am.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN
I hate hiding being bp. I'm a very open person, but this is not something "unsafe" people should know. I've not even told a few close friends. The only ones I'll tell are the ones who also struggle. No one else gets it. Esp the older generation, at least the ones I'm related to by marriage... Of course, I'll not tell many relatives. Thankfully, there are a handful of safe ones.
The problem is, I'm under a lot of demands right now, and I'm starting to crack. Something's gotta give. But what?
At least I'm sleeping OK the last 2 nights. Off riserdal. But will I continue to?
My positive hypomania is changing into edginess. I'm feeling squirrly.
What I really hate is that if people find out, they might not take me seriously. Also, they'll give me a wide berth. I still have something to say, to add, etc.
You are so right, family don't understand and just want me to be 'fixed'. i lost two good friends (of many years, one thirty years) over it. one told me i was just 'silly' and the other just did her best to ignore it and doesn't talk about it at all. only one sister understands and another tries but doesn't really succeed no matter what she reads or studies about it. they all find the sh impossible to deal with. it is like not talking about the elephant in the middle of the room! good post. thanks.
at least you know not to tell "unsafe" people as you call them. For the first 4 yrs after I was diagnosed, I told everyone. I was so open and wanted to educate people about it since it is becoming treated as the "next ADD" and overdiagnosed. Especially when I was hypomanic- I was on a crusade to change public opinion and be the face of mental illness in young people! I laugh about it now, but a lot of pain resulted from my openess.
This is what I would have done had I learned this prior to my 30's. I was way too open about stuff, and it really bit me in the butt.
Evangeline, how are people treating you now? Have any of them "forgotten" - truly or on purpose that you said you were bp before?
Thanks for the affirmation, folks At least we can be open about it here.
I do understand how you're feeling. To tell or not to tell is a very real and cruel dilemma to be faced with. I only told my fiance that I have BP a few days ago, and we have been together for a year and a half. I had no choice but to tell him though, as I was acting like a madwoman at the time and he needed to understand why I was screaming at him like a banshee and why I couldnt stop when he hadn't done anything wrong. He is now weighing up whether he can handle it and whether he will be able to make me happy in the long run, whilst making sense of the past year and a half together. I suspect that he may run for the hills, but I desperately hope that he won't. I havent told anyone at work though because I'm too scared that people will never look at me in the same light again once they know I have BP. Not telling people causes a huge build up of pressure, but telling them has its major risks too. Good luck
At least we can be open about it here.
