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Old 04-16-2009, 04:57 PM   #1
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laurash988 HB User
Need help!

My brother has been going to the same dr on and off for about 4 years. He started going back to him 6 months ago because he was talking of killing himself. He still talks about suicide, how he is a burden, worthless, should just hang himself, etc. He also has cut himself which we just discovered. I don't know if this therapy is helping or not. Everytime he comes out of there he doesn't seemed helped. My mom has to make an appointment with his doctor soon but this is becoming increasingly frustrating. He is 18 now so she can't force him to do anything or go to a treatment center. Should he stay with this dr even if results don't appear to be coming?

I'm just so frustrated because this is a daily thing...talking about hanging himself and whatnot. It breaks my heart. I don't know what to do. My mom is just sick over it.

I just need some advice.

 
Old 04-16-2009, 05:47 PM   #2
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katlin09 HB User
Re: Need help!

Well as somone who suffers with BPII with severe med resistant Suicidal Depresion I can go to my tdoc for weeks and not get any better regardin my suicidal ideations or "wants", "needs", or "desires" to kill myself. Just because your going to therapy doesn't mean you automatically start getting better. Many times it depends on what you and your tdoc talk about during your sessions. The hard part is since he's an adult, y'all can't find out what they are discussing. Has anyon asked your brother if he likes this therapist or if he wants a new one? Maybe he just doesn't "click" with this one. And believe me getting on with one's therapist is of the utmost importance, otherwise he probably won't discuss the important things with her. You said he "cut" himself, do you mean 1 time, or that he is cutting himself constantly to deal with his emotions? Self harm is not unusual for we suicidal depressants, as we don't have clear ways to deal with our emotions and use this as a coping mechanism. So, for starters I would check in with your bro and see how he feels about his tdoc, if he doesn't care for him/her, get him a new one. If he is self harming daily then he probably needs to address this with his tdoc as this can easily get out of control and end up in a suicide attempt. Next don't hassle him about his emotional externalizing, talk to him if he wants to talk, but don't pressure him to tell you what he and his tdoc discuss. If you really think that his threats are serious and not just ways to harrass you and your mother (you didn't mention what your relationships are like), call 911 and have him taken to the ER for a Suicide Threat. These are about the only this that you can do, unfortunately.

Good luck...and let us know how thngs turn out.

kat

 
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Old 04-17-2009, 03:31 AM   #3
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irishwriter HB User
Re: Need help!

Quote:
Originally Posted by laurash988 View Post
My brother has been going to the same dr on and off for about 4 years. He started going back to him 6 months ago because he was talking of killing himself. He still talks about suicide, how he is a burden, worthless, should just hang himself, etc. He also has cut himself which we just discovered. I don't know if this therapy is helping or not. Everytime he comes out of there he doesn't seemed helped. My mom has to make an appointment with his doctor soon but this is becoming increasingly frustrating. He is 18 now so she can't force him to do anything or go to a treatment center. Should he stay with this dr even if results don't appear to be coming?

I'm just so frustrated because this is a daily thing...talking about hanging himself and whatnot. It breaks my heart. I don't know what to do. My mom is just sick over it.

I just need some advice.
could he get dr to recommend a psychiatrist? is he on any meds? maybe he does need to see someone else if this person is not helping at all. it is so important to find someone who understands and is kind about the whole thing. suicidal ideation is v,. common and maybe if he understood that he is not alone it would help him to come to terms with it all. there is a v, good book which makes one feel less alone called 'the mindful way through depression' you can find it online and it talks about all the negative symptoms being normal for a depressed person as much as a cough is to a cold. i found this v. helpful and also some of the relaxation exercises in the book helped. if he is willing to read it, it might help him and you and your family. good luck with it and don't hesitate to come on here with any problems you might have in dealing with it.

 
Old 04-17-2009, 03:48 AM   #4
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tigger5150 HB User
Re: Need help!

Like Kat said, you can go to a tdoc or evenn a pdoc and that doesn't help your SI or self harming. I am and have been a self harmer for years and my docs just got tired of talking about except to ask if I knew why I did it this time. It hasn't been until the recent months that the SI has popped up and despite my pdoc and I talking about and it being a bit "jokey" - as I'm a nurse and told him what was really stopping me was I wanted something that was absolute and I knew that was not always the case and he looked at me, smiled, said you're right I can tell you of a guy who threw himself of a train platform two different times in front of a train and is still living. So just talking doesnn't always help. It does help to "click" or have a good working relationship with the tdoc and pdoc if he has both, otherwise I have just found it disasterous.

If you're in the states (I used to live there) I'm pretty sure you can call 911 like Kat said and put him in on a 5150 psych hold or suicidal hold.....

Good luck

 
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