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Old 04-20-2009, 08:40 AM   #1
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Help...bewildered and overwhelmed

I have been missing work due to the crushing depression that makes me incapable of doing anything. I almost feel paralyzed and as if I'm watching all these disasters unfold in my life from in a dream. I can't seem to shower regularly (gross, I know) get to work or do anything. Work is probably going to fire me so that upsets me too which just ADDs to the depression. I saw the dr. on Friday. We are trying some new meds (again) which only made me stay up all weekend even though all I was able to do was read books.

I finally went to sleep after 3 days...I guess I have to call dr. again today, tell him about it all and ask about advice 4 work. I've somehow managed fairly corporate jobs successfully in the past but I just moved back to the east coast after a ton of trauma//drama and I think that's when I lost what little I had left...

I've been struggling now for at least a year. I don't know if the rains make it worse and the cold....

Anyway, I am rambling, what I really wanted to ask was if anyone else has dealt with BP and their corporate workplace?

Thanx,
Opal

 
Old 04-20-2009, 10:45 AM   #2
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: Help...bewildered and overwhelmed

Opal,

Reading your story, it was like reading my own. I suffer from BPII w/severe med resistant suicidal depression, so there are many, many times that I cannot get out of bed, or shower, or brush my teeth or anything. I also have been through at least 10 med changes in the last 4 months, changes, tweaking, more changes, etc. Up until 2 months ago I had a career dealing in Finance and Stocks....but then I lost my job, and my world fell apart.

The best advice that I can give is do call your pdoc when things are really bad, or are not getting any better after a med change. Have you thought of taking medical leave under the FMLA act for a while until you and your pdoc get you a little more stable, that way your job would be protected. Does your company offer short term disability as a benefit, that may also be a way to go...

I have been med compliant for the first time in a long time for the last year and a half and it seems like it's been one very long struggle, but there are a lot of past issues resulting in ptsd. My pdoc and tdoc also have me on several different types of therapy and it can get a bit overwhelming sometimes.

The best thing to do is see about the leave to protect your job, but call your pdoc first about the meds and sleep. I only go to sleep at around 4 in the morning and average3 hours a night it's been like that for over 2 months now, and it drives me crazy...so you definitely don't want to let that get out of control.

Welcome to the board and know that we are here for you and will give all the support that we can.

kat

 
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Old 04-20-2009, 12:27 PM   #3
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dreams in neon HB Userdreams in neon HB User
Re: Help...bewildered and overwhelmed

Opal,

I know how you feel.

I've had severe suicidal depression since 1991 and was IP 6 times between 1991 and 1995 as a result.

My pdoc recently added Fluoxetine and Clonazepam to my regimen. The former addresses my depression while the latter helps control my rapid cycling.

I haven't felt severely depressed since December when I experienced psychotic depression following a manic episode.

I also haven't rapid cycled in 6 days although I've been able to go as many as 9 days in the past.

When I get depressed, I can't move, think or speak.

I also self harm and start to hear voices. My voices command me, talk about death/dying, tell me what an awful person I am and try to convince me that I'm in h*ll and have died in an auto accident.

Fortunately, my bipolar tends to fall more on the manic side except for the autumn/ winter months when I'm 80% depressed and 20% manic.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

Last edited by dreams in neon; 04-20-2009 at 12:29 PM.

 
Old 04-20-2009, 12:59 PM   #4
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Re: Help...bewildered and overwhelmed

Thank you all for your kind words.

 
Old 04-21-2009, 01:59 AM   #5
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Re: Help...bewildered and overwhelmed

Opal,

I work in a corporate type setting at the moment and I hadn't told any of my managers that I was BP..... I dropped into a very severe depression was missing work a lot and my meds weren't working. My doctor and I elected to try ECT so I ended up having to tell my immediate manager as I was going to need 4 weeks off and I did not have the leave time to cover.........I have to admit they were great as I thought I was going to have to do it without pay which just made me more depressed and worried, but they have a program at work (not sure what it is called) that you can use once that is like a disability where you get paid I think at 80%. I may got lucky as I know there are companies out there that just don't care and do let people go.

Kat has offered some great suggestiions... I would check into them.

 
Old 04-21-2009, 12:22 PM   #6
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: Help...bewildered and overwhelmed

Quote:
Originally Posted by tigger5150 View Post
Opal,

I work in a corporate type setting at the moment and I hadn't told any of my managers that I was BP..... I dropped into a very severe depression was missing work a lot and my meds weren't working. My doctor and I elected to try ECT so I ended up having to tell my immediate manager as I was going to need 4 weeks off and I did not have the leave time to cover.........I have to admit they were great as I thought I was going to have to do it without pay which just made me more depressed and worried, but they have a program at work (not sure what it is called) that you can use once that is like a disability where you get paid I think at 80%. I may got lucky as I know there are companies out there that just don't care and do let people go.

Kat has offered some great suggestiions... I would check into them.
Tigs,

That was great of your company to give that benefit. My old job was like that I had to take 3 months off a few yrs back due to a botched hysterectomy and 2 additional bladder surgeries and my job paid me for the whole time. It was a major relief. I know nowadays alot of companies don't offer short term disability anymore as a benefit, they think it's too expensive.. I'm sure whenever I find a new job (keeping fingers and toes crossed hoping it's soon) that benefit won't exist.

kat

 
Old 04-22-2009, 01:07 AM   #7
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Re: Help...bewildered and overwhelmed

Kat,
I think you are right.. I was so shocked when they told me. Most companies these days are about bottom line and if you can't do it they can hire someone who can/will which makes it even harder for us here when we can't always control what's going to happen.

Hope all is well with you!
Trish

 
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