Waiting for the meds to catch up - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

Shazzi · 05-12-2009, 09:40 PM

I'm hitting a low and can't seem to get back to normal. I hate my life, I don't exist in this world anymore, I'll never succeed in this life, and i can't think of anything to get out of it. I don't want to do anything or be anywhere, I don't want to see or talk to anybody, nothing matters to me like it did before. I feel so alone and just want to run away, but i don't know where to go.

I'm 38 years old and i feel like I'm living the life like a 90 year old just waiting around to die. I'm so bored and i have no motivation to do anything about it. I'm even too bored to drop dead. I don't wanna do anything, but I don't wanna do nothing either if that makes any sense. I know it's a mood and i know it will pass... But that doesn't help me right know. it's like Knowing you’re leg is broken, but it's still gonna hurt when you walk on it. So all I do is wait, and wonder what’s gonna come next Am I gonna go up? or am I gonna go down? Maybe I might have to deal with the struggle to stay stable. I spend my whole life either waiting or struggling. I’m so tired

BipolarPrincess · 05-12-2009, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shazzi

I'm hitting a low and can't seem to get back to normal. I hate my life, I don't exist in this world anymore, I'll never succeed in this life, and i can't think of anything to get out of it. I don't want to do anything or be anywhere, I don't want to see or talk to anybody, nothing matters to me like it did before. I feel so alone and just want to run away, but i don't know where to go.

I'm 38 years old and i feel like I'm living the life like a 90 year old just waiting around to die. I'm so bored and i have no motivation to do anything about it. I'm even too bored to drop dead. I don't wanna do anything, but I don't wanna do nothing either if that makes any sense. I know it's a mood and i know it will pass... But that doesn't help me right know. it's like Knowing you’re leg is broken, but it's still gonna hurt when you walk on it. So all I do is wait, and wonder what’s gonna come next Am I gonna go up? or am I gonna go down? Maybe I might have to deal with the struggle to stay stable. I spend my whole life either waiting or struggling. I’m so tired

(((((hugs))))) I feel the exact same you do. I can't really offer advice seeing I am in the same boat right now.. but I hope you start feeling better, I really do.

dreams in neon · 05-12-2009, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shazzi

I'm hitting a low and can't seem to get back to normal. I hate my life, I don't exist in this world anymore, I'll never succeed in this life, and i can't think of anything to get out of it. I don't want to do anything or be anywhere, I don't want to see or talk to anybody, nothing matters to me like it did before. I feel so alone and just want to run away, but i don't know where to go.

I'm 38 years old and i feel like I'm living the life like a 90 year old just waiting around to die. I'm so bored and i have no motivation to do anything about it. I'm even too bored to drop dead. I don't wanna do anything, but I don't wanna do nothing either if that makes any sense. I know it's a mood and i know it will pass... But that doesn't help me right know. it's like Knowing you’re leg is broken, but it's still gonna hurt when you walk on it. So all I do is wait, and wonder what’s gonna come next Am I gonna go up? or am I gonna go down? Maybe I might have to deal with the struggle to stay stable. I spend my whole life either waiting or struggling. I’m so tired

I know how you feel. I was where you are last week when I had a mixed episode. My pdoc increased one of my meds and now my moods are back to being level again.

In regards to stability, I can relate with you there as well. I've been unstable for the past 1.5 years due to rapid cycling and mania. My previous pdoc refused to treat me which is why I struggled for as long as I did. I'm now working with a wonderful pdoc who put me on a new med regimen that is working great.

If you don't mind my asking, are you on any meds? What is your diagnosis? Do you have Bipolar I or II?

If you are feeling as bad as you are, I would suggest contacting your pdoc so that your meds can be tweaked (provided you are on meds).

In the meantime, continue to vent anytime. We are always here to listen.

Shazzi · 05-12-2009, 10:32 PM

I’ve been diagnosed as Bipolar II almost 5 years ago and have been on a lot of different meds in which a majority of them work wonders for a while, Then it seems like my body starts to build a tolerance and I have to try something different. It’s been a continuous cycle. Right now I’m on Trileptal, Wellbutrin, Abilify, and I’m getting weaned off of lamictal

dreams in neon · 05-13-2009, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shazzi

I’ve been diagnosed as Bipolar II almost 5 years ago and have been on a lot of different meds in which a majority of them work wonders for a while, Then it seems like my body starts to build a tolerance and I have to try something different. It’s been a continuous cycle. Right now I’m on Trileptal, Wellbutrin, Abilify, and I’m getting weaned off of lamictal

Have you ever considered ECT?