Ruining my Relationship - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

Llama · 06-27-2009, 08:20 PM

I feel as though I am ruining my relationship with my boyfriend. I've been depressed and lately irritable so that is not helping matters. I don't want to be around him. I don't want to see him or have him see me. I don't want to be touched or looked at. Is this part of the bipolar or am I just falling out of love with him?

Llama · 06-27-2009, 08:22 PM

Also, I don't want to sleep in the same bed with him. I am starting to think I want my own room in our apartment. Right now we share the bedroom, then the second bedroom is like his other room. It has his couch and his computer in it. I can't stand him anymore!

seaturtle · 06-27-2009, 10:01 PM

Hi, Llama,

I think there's a good chance it's the bp. Falling out of love is one thing, not wanting to be touched or seen bespeaks something else.

I guess a way to find out would be to ask yourself if you'd feel this way about another man (or woman, for that matter).
Does the feeling extend to your friends?

In my own experience, I have had (and still do) have times when I don't want to see anyone, speak to anyone, don't answer the phone, etc. It is at those times that I feel as if I hate everything in the world.

Would your bf understand if you asked him to bear with you and accept a temporary absence?

Hugs,

Seaturtle

dreams in neon · 06-28-2009, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Llama

I feel as though I am ruining my relationship with my boyfriend. I've been depressed and lately irritable so that is not helping matters. I don't want to be around him. I don't want to see him or have him see me. I don't want to be touched or looked at. Is this part of the bipolar or am I just falling out of love with him?

This could definitely be part of BP. When I feel depressed, I have the same issues when it comes to my boyfriend. I don't want to be around him, I don't want to talk and I certainly don't want to be touched (although I have separate issues in regards to that due to my PTSD). I think once your moods improve on the right med combo, you'll feel differently about him and become closer. Right now you're going through a difficult time because your moods aren't stable. If I were you, I'd explain to your boyfriend how you feel and let him know that how you're reacting has nothing to do with him as a person -- it's the depression talking. You may even want to give him a card or treat him to a nice dinner as a way to show him he's loved. It would also be a good opportunity for you to explain exactly how BP is affecting your relationship. This is what my boyfriend and I do whenever I've done something inappropriate because of mania. I apologize for my actions and we use that experience to move forward in our relationship.

Llama · 06-28-2009, 03:43 PM

seaturtle, yes the feeling extends to my friends and also my family sometimes. I don't want to talk to or be seen by anyone. Plus, I know you'll understand this one, I recently put on 10lbs and that is partly why I don't want to be seen. I can't stand the way I look and look at old photos of myself and just feel disgusted. Eating disorders never really leave us totally, do they? I think the weight gain is from the meds and I'm working hard at the gym to try and take off the extra weight.