Brought myself off meds.. - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

NutshellNutter · 07-05-2009, 01:45 AM

I go through this phase every couple of months, and more noticably I go through it BIG style at the start of every summer - bring myself off all my meds.

I just feel so strong and good about myself at this time of the year every year. I feel I can fight anything, and win. I feel so happy I could sell my happiness to people and make money from it. If I could patent my feeling I would be worth a fortune. I don't need alot of sleep and am happy happy happy.

A little hypo? Probably - but its great. It makes me angry to think that the meds make me not able to feel like this.

I know my psych will be horrified when I tell him, but I'm starting to think they're in a conspiracy against me. I had just chnaged from Amisulpride to Zyprexa again, and was about to change from tegretol to lithium.

I hate the meds!!!! It is only when I am off them that I feel I have my body and mind back.

The Nut.

irishwriter · 07-05-2009, 04:00 AM

hi nutshell, i understand completely., sometimes i would love to be manic again as this deep depression is v. difficult to shift and being manic while depressed is no fun! the last time i was manic, i had dinner parties, was the 'life and soul' of the party and got loads of stuff done. however, i was speaking too fast, i spent all my money etc.. have been depressed big time since then. that is the danger that each return of depressive mode is more severe than the previous one. like you sometimes i just want to give up on the pills particularly when it has been so hard over many years to try and find the right combo for me. the current lot seems to be the best so far. i have said to pdoc that i just 'want to be happy without being ecstatic and sad without sinking into the depths'.

hope you get to enjoy your summer and if you are going off your meds to do so gradually!

Llama · 07-05-2009, 06:48 PM

Oh no nutshell! I really hope you don't crash. Be careful, and as iw said, go off your meds gradually under your pdoc's supervision if you really really want to do so.