Dating Bipolar - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

19jennifer84 · 07-07-2009, 10:08 AM

My name is Jenn, and i have been dating my boyfriend since Feb. 2008, about 1 and a half years,and i want out of the relationship because ive been hurt to much and can not handle the stress. he just found out he has BiPolar Disorder, and is mad at me because i took him to the hospital to be evaluated and treated, after he threatened to kill himself and tried taking a bottle of aspirin. He is not the same person I fell in love with, and i am at the end of my rope, i don't know how to deal with it anymore. he has hurt me mentally so many times, that i didnt know i could cry as much as i have. I feel in my heart that I Love Him, but I don't Like him anymore, and i want to end our relationship, because i can no longer cope with him like this anymore. I am afraid everyone will look at me as, 'She found out he has bipolar, and dont want to be with him anymore' and thats not the case. I have been hurt to much for too long, and he doesnt want the help of the doctors, and I don't know how to tell him... HELP ME PLEASE, I'm Scared and afraid.

He is pulling me into a depression, and i cannot handle it myself... I have noone to talk to and he has no family here in North Carolina, and he has no friends here, because he thinks he does not need friends in his life, only me, and that scares me. AM I WRONG FOR FEELING THIS WAY?

Llama · 07-07-2009, 02:28 PM

Hi Jennifer. Welcome to the boards.

Just because your boyfriend is bipolar does not give him the right to hurt you over and over again. I am not sure of the hurt he has caused you, but if it is verbal or physical abuse get out of the relationship now!

He is not taking responsibility for his disorder by not taking meds and not listening to the doctors. It would be a whole other story if he were taking meds and really trying to get control over this disease.

Also, he seems sort of manipulative for what he did for you to make you take him to the hospital.

MOST importantly, don't let him drag you down with him. He is in an unmedicated state and will only get worse most likely. He probably needs to hit rock bottom in order to realize the seriousness of his condition and get proper treatment for it. If you are feeling depressed yourself it is time to leave. No one should judge you and if they do then they do not know what they are talking about.

Please consider talking to a counselor to help ease your depression and help you get through this tough time.

I wish you all the best.

19jennifer84 · 07-07-2009, 04:26 PM

Thank you Llama, I just talked to him a bit ago and i told him how i feel, and he kept saying he doesn't want to lose me and that he wants me to give him another chance. I think i want to see how he does on the medication and if he keeps going to a therapist. If he does i might give him another chance. but if he doesnt keep up with the meds and therapy, i cant do it any longer.

Neesie267 · 07-09-2009, 06:35 AM

Jenn, I dont think you're wrong for feeling that way. My partner is bi-polar. We've been together since 2000 and she was diagnosed in 2005 after we split up briefly.

Like your boyfriend, my partner wont seek medical help. She was on meds previously and said they made her feel worse.

My advice - hang in there. If you love him, you can do it.

electric blue · 07-11-2009, 08:32 PM

Hi Jenn,

I feel so sad for you being in this kind of relationship. Bp is such a horrible disorder and affects the people you love so much, but it can't get to the stage where it's hurting you!! You sound so down, i'd get out now before waiting on tenterhooks looking for the signs of another attempt - because, most if not all, of us know, it will happen again and none of us would wish that on you to have to be in the position of having to cope with it and for you to be let down.

No one really should advise you to leave, but it's so obvious in your case that this is an unhealthy relationship especially if he's ignoring the doctor's advice and not taking his meds.

Do you have a good relationship with your mother or siblings or friends? If so, maybe you could talk to them about what's happening and get their opinions.

Good luck

Electric blue