i was told 1 1/2 years ago i'm bipolar. i was in denial & i'm just now realizing how true it is. i'm in a depressed state now, the past few weeks i've been so irritated & angry usually for no real reason at all. sometimes i do have a good reason to be mad but i just FLIP out. my family's in denial about my bipolar, & now everything's coming together for me but i have no one to talk to about it. to make it worse, i've been fighting w/my best friend. i do have a valid reason this time for the fight we got into today. but i wonder if i got too angry because of the bipolar? i completely freaked out on her & i'm usually not like that. i almost want to tell her about my bipolar so she at least understands why i freaked out (i was like a psycho person, really)... but i'm afraid she will say i AM psycho & then she'll really think i shouldn't be mad right now, i'm just making stuff up in my head & freaking out for nothing. i really wish i had my best friend to talk to right now. i feel so lonely, but i really cant trust her w/this information now. next time i fight w/her about something she'll say "oh its just the bipolar talking". ugh! sorry i know i sound so juvenile. its hard to compile all my feelings into words right now. does anyone else get like this? IS it the bipolar that's making me over-react to things? i'll be completely fine & one little thing happens & its a whole different side of me that comes out w/out warning. i hate FEELING so angry especially when i don't have anything to even be angry about! & when i am validly mad about something i cant stand not being in control & going psycho on everyone. i want to explain myself to everyone, but when i have a tantrum again i'm afraid they'll say "oh its just the bipolar" & blow it off. is anyone else going through this? is this normal for bipolar? any support would be helpful
Hi. I was diagnosed 1 month ago and it is very difficult for me to undrestand what is part of bipolar and what is not. The tantrums and phsycho episodes happen often for me and now after being diagnosed they are happening more often as I ma frustrated with myself and dont trust what I am doing as I dont know why. What is helping me through this tough thime is my family reminding me to be patient and take one day at a time and be honest with how I am feeling and what might happen because of what I am feeling. We are on a tough road but I do believe that with a trustworthy support sytsem who is wanting to learn about bipolar and help you on the life path through it, we will be able to get more control over our illness.
Hi! The uncontrollable anger and fury is a large part of BP for me. I am fairly stable right now, but find that both that and lingering depressive feelings are my hangover symptoms.
I tend to find that the anger is partially hormonal, and so some parts of the month can be worse than others for throwing a tanty. I have also found that when things don't go the way I was expecting them to I lose it big time. Other peoples inconsiderate behaviour (and this is mostly where I need to loosen up and try to remember the state of humanity) really drives me up the wall too- to the point where I get ridiculous and know that I need to shut my mouth but still can't. I'm still learning to differentiate between what is legitimate to get get angry about and what's not, and what is deemed to be appropriate in getting rid of it. I know I get so angry because I spent a good 20 or so years doing everything I could to not get angry or lose my temper- I just used to push it down. I've always had a bad temper and I have never learned to handle it in a useful way. I did used to play a lot of sport when I was younger and that did help. I have started playing softball again this year, but I am finding that a real challenge because now I have to interact with people- something I had unconciously stopped doing. I am finding I get upset over the stupidest stuff and big time.
So basically I find that mostly I have to debrief when I chuck a wobbley- first I go over the situation in my mind and try to brutally honest with myself about whether I should have gotten upset, did I over react, how I could have handled it better etc, then I talk to my mate, and/or boyfriend about it and they usually put me straight on anything I have taken a singulaurly bp approach to. They both have different views on things so sometimes I have to figure out which view is the right one for the situation- sometimes it's somewhere in between. I tend not to talk to my pdoc about it too much because he blames everything on me, and has very odd place of standing in this world.
So far as not telling your best friend... I find myself wondering, if you can't tell your best friend, who can you tell? I find it makes things so much more bearable to have someone to talk to. My answer to my partner when I get the "that's just because you have bp" is that either "yes, it probably is this time", or "no, this is me", or "well it may be that is, but then again it may not be, but doesn't everyone have times when they don't make the best move?" It's their choice to make as to how understanding they are going to be, but I usually lean toward the view that people can't make a good desicion without being in full view of the facts, but you do need to temper that with protecting yourself.
Sorry for going on, I hope there is something in there that can help you.
Thanks for posting your current situation ROXEM. You're entitled to all the help and appreciation anyone else is entitled to. You've come to the right place for advice on this matter. I hope somewhere in all of the replies to your post - something resonates with you.
To be honest, I completely understand where you are coming from. No matter what you do from here on in - you NEED someone to talk to. Everyone needs to vent; the last thing you want to do - is hold everything in. That in itself; can cause illnesses to come spewing out - and unfortunately; for, "US," it usually comes out in the form of anger that we neither WANT to expell, nor NEED to expell... We deserve to be listened to - and if you're already worried about your, "FRIENDS," listening to you - then using the whole, "You're bipolar," line against you - DONT EVEN BOTHER sharing you're personal issues with them... Take my word for it (Along with anyone else who understands pain) that friend does NOT, "DESERVE," to know you're inner secrets and pains... As far as I'm concerned - you deserve to be listened to. I'm not talking about someone whose willing to sit there and listen to you're rumminations and ramblings of negativism... I'm talking about someone - whom is genuinely interested to listen to you. Whose willing to help you and give you advice. And even if its advice you're not readily prepared to hear - atleast you can, "EXPECT," to get some form of, "OBJECTIVITY..." And with these illnesses, "OBJECTIVITY," is EXACTLY - what we need - in order to maintain a healthy balance of mental stability, and the capacity to know - for a FACT; what is ACTUALLY going on around us. And not feel the need to suspect people think and do things behind our backs.
SO - go and find a therapist. That should be your top priority. I'm assuming you've never had one, but if you have - find one thats right for you. Every therapist is trained to act according to the psychiatric chain of command... But - sometimes; you'll find a therapist that is both willing to set aside all that they know - and simply be, "PRESENT," and, "ATTENTIVE," to your struggles; as a genuine caring, loving individual - whom is not going to brand you and diagnose you... Everyone whose, "HUMAN," should understand the definition of pain. And if you run into a therapist whose only interest is to diagnose and medicate you - get out of that ASAP. There is no excuse as to why a therapist shouldn't feel the genuine NEED, and or; WHAT - to get to know you on a personal level. A session shouldn't just consist of symptoms, or thoughts. It should consist of expressing your, "FEELINGS..." It should be a, "SAFE, LOVING ENVIRONMENT," through which you feel you can be yourself... A place - where you can remove your mask(s), (the same mask(s) we ALL wear throughout the day - residing within the manipulative societies that make up our daily lives) and simply; be present.
See - it is a therapist's job - to diagnose and prescribe medication... BUT - it is also human being's duty - to listen to those in need; and give back what little wisdom they have to share; that has allowed them to live life and function. A GOOD therapist - has a BALANCE - between being a, "DOCTOR," and an insightful, "HUMAN..." Please look for the right therapist. It will make the world of difference.
I've got a small technique to share with you - my therapist had shared it with me... Luckily I found a good councillor - who happens to be opposed to medicating people; and giving false promises of hope through popping a pill once a day. She cared for me - and when I told her I get extremely upset sometimes and freak out. (And called crazy by those who witness these outbursts) She said....
"When you're getting upset, and it seems like everyone is getting after you - and you've become, "CORNERED..." Walk away from the situation. Do something that calms you down... Something that you thoroughly enjoy... Something that, "GROUNDS," you... Take some time doing this, "THING," until you're mind is at peace... Then come back to the situation - and, "RESPOND."
THAT - was such a vital thing for me... The simple choice; to, "NOT REACT..." But to take some breathing time, come back to the situation and instead of reacting, I choose to, "RESPOND..."
This has proved so useful... And after I took all those medications for years - my psychiatrists never once taught me anything like this. I'm not saying this was an answer for me issues. I still freak out - and by GOD; do I have, "EVERY RIGHT," to get upset from time to time... But like MOWGLI said; sometimes, it is our illness that brings up anger, and sometimes its not... Its a matter of gaining the insight into ourselves - and simply, "ADMITTING DEFEAT," for the soul purpose - of preventing uneeded negative situations from arising...
The best method of neutralizing tension - is to remain calm.
Even if and when; the other person yells straight in your face. Seriously - try it. Why not try being calm - let the other person freak out. Its actually kind of insightful - seeing what its like; when other people are the ones REACTING... (Freaking out at the top of their lungs) It gives you perspective of what its like when you're on the other end - yelling at those you are mad at...
Anyways, I'm rambling... Just know - that sometimes - you have a reason to be upset. Sometimes you don't. Either way, one thing my councillor helped me to understand... IS...
"NEVER - be ashamed of your emotions... You're emotions; whether they be good or bad; can be an eye of insight - into our fears, our anxieties, and our unconscious insecurities..."
(WE CAN learn something from our emotions, because they are ALWAYS honest... We are mad - because we are mad... We are sad - because we are sad... We are confused - because we are confused... IF - we ACCEPT our emotions, and stop blaming ourselves for feeling the way we do; and come to realize the most important question of all... "WHY; DO I FEEL THIS WAY..." We can being to work on the VERY CORE - the foundation; of all our insecurities, and issues...)
That - is what therapy is supposed to tackle... The, "REASONS," why we feel the way we feel. Not the symptoms or the emotions themselves. Symptoms are the by-product; of internal issues that have been neglected - and abandoned / ignored... The longer we choose to ignore them; the more they'll take hold of our lives; and create more obstacles for us - on our journey - and search for, "COMPLETENESS..." (Our destination)
I have also found that when things don't go the way I was expecting them to I lose it big time. Other peoples inconsiderate behaviour (and this is mostly where I need to loosen up and try to remember the state of humanity) really drives me up the wall too- to the point where I get ridiculous and know that I need to shut my mouth but still can't..... I know I get so angry because I spent a good 20 or so years doing everything I could to not get angry or lose my temper- I just used to push it down..... I have started playing softball again this year, but I am finding that a real challenge because now I have to interact with people- something I had unconciously stopped doing.... So far as not telling your best friend... I find myself wondering, if you can't tell your best friend, who can you tell?
I lose it too when things don't go my way, I don't know if I just want to be in control or if its just that I have a view of how things should go & I get irritated when it doesn't work out -- i guess those are really the same things lol. Inconsiderate & ignorant people TOTALLY annoy me & I don't keep my mouth shut either! Sometimes I have to realize w/the situation that its really not a big deal & just let it go, but that is hard! I think I just speak my mind, but there are times when I really didn't need to point out someone's mistake or stupidity. When you said you used to always hide your anger, I was exactly the same way. I tried to please everyone & I don't like confrontation so when someone would make me mad or backstab me or something I would just "forget about it" & not make a big deal of it. Maybe that's why we have so much anger now? We kept it bottled-up so long, now its time for it to come out. Although when I was younger & kept things bottled up, a lot of the time I would take my anger & frustration out on my family (parents & sisters)... they're your family, you know they'll always be there for you. Unfortunately they took a lot of crap. As far as unconciously being anti-social.... for probly 7 years I did the same thing. All I really did was work, college, hang with family & sleep. I didn't even have the usual "college experience", I didn't go to parties, I barely even talked to any of my classmates. People just annoy me. To be honest. I now realize I had a MAJOR manic stage between age 17-20, I was very social, partied all the time, a lot of alcohol, & I did a lot of things that I would never admit to now. It didn't seem wrong at the time at all, but it definitely is lol! After that period I must've went into a depressive state - when I was anti-social... & I don't know why people annoy me now?? I had a manic state again for the last year & god I wish it lasted longer! I was at the beginning of my recent manic state when I finally went to a pdoc & he said I'm bipolar, so of course I thought he must be crazy! I felt great!! How could I be bipolar?? Maybe that's why my family doesn't believe it, & they're just uneducated about it. I only saw my pdoc 3 times cuz of insurance issues & then I haven't had insurance at all this year. He didn't really explain what bipolar is, I've learned more by reading message boards & reading what other people w/bipolar have gone through & the different emotional stages they have. Its like looking in a mirror, its nice to know other people are going through the same things I am. I never did tell my best friend... she's going through a lot of crap in her life & she's not been a really good friend lately so we actually got in a huge fight & I told her I'm done w/her because I can't trust her anymore. I was probly bitchier than I needed to be, but this time I know I have a valid reason to be mad. She's been an alcoholic for the past year, went through a divorce & dealing w/her 2 kids on her own. She's been really selfish, a really bad mom to her kids (I can't even explain the things she's done, neglet, leaving them home alone to go drinking, etc), she's been really slutty & the last straw was when she went after a guy I like.... keep in mind she's already seeing like 3 OTHER guys! At least I have everyone here on this website, everyone is so open here & its nice to be able to talk about what we're all going through. I live in a fairly small city (150 thousand people), I wish we had a bipolar support group here that would be really nice!
I agree, it is frustrating when you're diagnosed. No one really tells you what is normal & what is the bipolar. It might be a long road, but I'm glad you have the support of your family!!
Thank you for responding, it was very helpful! & I'm definitely going to try your technique... it might be hard sometimes tho! I'll admit, I've been a bit unpredictable lately. I did go to a psychiatrist, only 3 visits tho. All he wanted to do is medicate me, & he didn't even explain anything to me. So I guess it worked out, glad I didn't waste anymore money on him! I'ld love to see a therapist, but I don't have insurance right now... hopefully I will soon. Thanks for all your encouragement =)
My parents were in total denile for years about my bipolar. When I was hospitalized, they finally realized the illness is real. Bipolar is difficult to deal with, but not impossible. If you take your meds, see a good therapist and confide in friends and family, you can manage it.
Things will be ok. Give it some time, but don't put too much pressure on yourself.
My parents were in denile for years about my bipolar disorder. When i was hospitalized, they finally saw that the illness was real. I know it is hard to deal with at times, but you can get through it. Take your meds, see a good therapists, keep your friends and family in the loop.
My parents were in total denile for years about my bipolar. When I was hospitalized, they finally realized the illness is real. Bipolar is difficult to deal with, but not impossible. If you take your meds, see a good therapist and confide in friends and family, you can manage it.
Things will be ok. Give it some time, but don't put too much pressure on yourself.
it always takes a sad sitution to make people finally open their eyes its hard for people to believe something they can't actually see.... except god...??? when i told my family that the doctor said i'm bipolar & they kind of laughed it off & didn't believe it, its been over a year & we haven't talked about it since that day so i don't know how to bring it up again.
Hey, I hope you're doing well Roxem. I'm glad your getting support that you both need and deserve from life. This place is a great community. Glad you're here.
One thing you might want to check into... I don't know if you have access to this - but there ARE drop in clinics available almost everywhere. Places you can go - that are government run - (unfortunately) but places where you can go and get therapy for free. I think its covered under health insurance... I know you say you don't have insurance; but its something you might want to look into more...
Or - the alternative. (Which is RARE; but is, in alot of ways; preferable) Is to find a really good, kind, loving; family member or friend - whose willing to take the time to listen to you and reply with honesty; and with your best interest in mind.
I understand fully - what its like when you try telling your family something; and they continually deny it possible. In all honesty - that is a normal reaction. And in brutal objectivity - its not that they think you're trying to find an excuse for your actions... (Although it could be for some) Its that they don't want to believe you have an illness... Because; with illness - comes stigma. And like you said, "THEY ARE UNEDUCATED..." They don't know enough about it - for a proper understanding... No one wants their family members to have illnesses. Its brutal.
I think you're onto something - when you said...
Quote:
I tried to please everyone & I don't like confrontation so when someone would make me mad or backstab me or something I would just "forget about it" & not make a big deal of it. Maybe that's why we have so much anger now? We kept it bottled-up so long, now its time for it to come out. Although when I was younger & kept things bottled up, a lot of the time I would take my anger & frustration out on my family (parents & sisters)... they're your family, you know they'll always be there for you. Unfortunately they took a lot of crap.
That right there is a good word of insight. I think you're correct. Its basically internal issues we've neglected / ignored. And these feelings that you have - are normal; but the fact that you didn't act on them for so many years - for the sake of OTHER people's well-being... That takes a toll on anyone willing to do that. Its like - you sacrifice for everyone; willingly for the RIGHT reasons - and for everyone to maintain happiness - and to minimize confrontation... And in the END; everyone denies that you ever did such a thing - and thinks you're using that as a way to gain attention / appreciation... You end up alone - while all along; you DID take alot of negativity from the group - and let it disappear within yourself. When really; it didn't disappear - it just got all bottled up inside...
IT SUCKS, and I understand. I'm sorry you did this, and I'm sorry you've been afflicted with these feelings / thoughts... No one should ever take other's issues upon themselves. Unfortunately - for some of us; our purpose in life is to help other people. We help people so much - that we stop helping ourselves... And ironically; in order to help others - we must first help ourselves... Interesting.
So you've been diagnosed with bipolar? How many sessions did it take until your pdoc said you had it? You mentioned (From what I remember) that you only did 3 sessions? At what point did he tell you bipolar? Did he ask if you wanted to take meds? Any treatments...?
ya i thought about checking if there's any government run therapies or something, i doubt it. i thought about maybe trying to start a bipolar support group here, maybe put a post on craigslist & see if i can get some people together. i did only see the pdoc 3 times, & he diagnosed me on the 1st visit. i explained different things that i've been through in my life. so when he diagnosed me the 1st visit i kind of thought he was just full of it, but after reading everyone else's bipolar experiences & thinking back about my life its the same. so i don't doubt anymore that i'm bipolar. the only med i really wanted was something to help me sleep. i take xanax & seroquel to help me sleep (i switch between the 2 meds), if i don't take them then i'm up all night & my brain won't shut off. it really is like there's voices, i'll literally be up ALL night. so he did give me rx for that.
Thats good that you're getting help to sleep with the medications. I see that you're taking seroquel...
What dose are you on if you don't mind me asking?
Reason why - I was on seroquel; and BOY - does it put you to sleep! I sort of miss it actually... When you said you can't get to sleep because your brain wont shut off; do you mean that you constantly rumminate thoughts when you're falling asleep? Like - things that occured throughout the day? The past week? The past month? These things that go through your mind - do they have to do with any particular event? Any particular theme? Does it revolve around positive or negative attacks on you? What people think of you?
Sorry for asking so many questions... I'm curious. When I was having trouble with these same thoughts - I would sit up for a few hours - sometimes all night... My mind would start racing thoughts. I would get extremely worked up and be unable to stop rumminating about something bothersome... It usually had to do with what people thought of me. Things from the past week - even the past month would suddenly come in pieces - forming a puzzle that I would quickly become emotional attached to. Sometimes - I remember... I would sit there; in bed... Thinking about something specific - unable to stop myself from indulging in all kinds of messed up realizations and theories... And I would get myself out of bed - feeling the need to make phone calls in the middle of the night to people whom I couldn't stop thinking about.
Finally - I was prescribed seroquel - and it pretty much put me to sleep instantly. Especially the NON - XR version. (NON Extended Release tablets) The same ones that you're taking.
Thats good that you're getting help to sleep with the medications. I see that you're taking seroquel...
What dose are you on if you don't mind me asking?
Reason why - I was on seroquel; and BOY - does it put you to sleep! I sort of miss it actually... When you said you can't get to sleep because your brain wont shut off; do you mean that you constantly rumminate thoughts when you're falling asleep? Like - things that occured throughout the day? The past week? The past month? These things that go through your mind - do they have to do with any particular event? Any particular theme? Does it revolve around positive or negative attacks on you? What people think of you?
Sorry for asking so many questions... I'm curious. When I was having trouble with these same thoughts - I would sit up for a few hours - sometimes all night... My mind would start racing thoughts. I would get extremely worked up and be unable to stop rumminating about something bothersome... It usually had to do with what people thought of me. Things from the past week - even the past month would suddenly come in pieces - forming a puzzle that I would quickly become emotional attached to. Sometimes - I remember... I would sit there; in bed... Thinking about something specific - unable to stop myself from indulging in all kinds of messed up realizations and theories... And I would get myself out of bed - feeling the need to make phone calls in the middle of the night to people whom I couldn't stop thinking about.
Finally - I was prescribed seroquel - and it pretty much put me to sleep instantly. Especially the NON - XR version. (NON Extended Release tablets) The same ones that you're taking.
Thanks,
8800gts
i only take 50mg of seroquel at night. i have 100mg pills but i cut them in 1/2. if i'm really having trouble sleeping sometimes i'll take the whole 100mg but that's not often. i've always been sensitive to drugs, it doesn't take much to affect me. which is good i guess, & is why i never really got into illegal drugs.
when i sleep w/out taking my med my mind races w/thoughts about anything & everything. i'll go over diff things that happened (good & bad), i'll make up like stories of how i would react to diff people if certain situations came up or how i would confront them about something, i'll repeat song lyrics in my head, diff realizations & theories like you do, just anything really. not really much about how people think of me, but a lot of confrontational stuff, like what would i say to so-and-so about something they did or said or a way they're acting, stuff like that. its like my mind doesn't like the quiet so it just won't shut off.
seroquel works pretty quick on me too. sometimes i'll take it & NOT go to bed (i wait for it to kick in & make me tired, then i go to bed), & i'll be sitting watching tv or on the computer & won't realize the pill has kicked in until i get up to get a drink or something & i can feel my blood pressure DROP & feel really light-headed & like i'm going to faint. i try not to let it get to that point but i get distracted sometimes lol. all sleeping pills do that to me though - i've tried ambien & xanax, they both do that.
My sister is bi-polar and anger is a sympton of it. Your medication may need to be adjusted. My sister had to have hers changed several times until they right dosage was given.
when i was finally diagnosed last year, my first reaction leaving the Psych's office was anger resentment mainly because of the stigma attached. i had hidden my illness so well, that most everyone i knew had no idea, except those closest who were in the firing line of my moods and uncontrollable choice making. I knew myself i had an illness but denial was my drug to keep going, to pretend it was everyone else that was different, not me. My working life has mainly been nursing and in recent years working for the government in disability, meaning that i looked after bipolar sufferers and would listen to my uncaring co workers make fun and mock them. Little did they know or still know that they were working next to one. Im very lucky to have an understanding partner that has helped me to accept thats its a part of who i am, and with proper medication and support, it can be controlled very well. I spent a long time thinking im so alone and no one could ever understand what my mind does to me, but once i began to accept that its a part of me for the rest of my life, it was actually a huge relief. Im now glad that i know that im not alone, and finding this website has actually helped me to realise that having bipolar is not my fault and my bad days now have a name, instead of me denying who i really am. Ive told some of my family and friends, but am still weary of what i say to others who have no idea. Most have been great and it has answered questions they were asking themselves about me...the ones who werent so accepting ive learnt that maybe they werent true friends to begin with..
whatever you do and where ever you are, just remember that YOU and the most important person, and people who truely care for you will love you for who you are and not what they want or expect you to be.. honesty is the only way to have peace, even though its much harder than denial.. i hope i have helped in some way...take care and remember you are not alone ever..
ya i know my meds need to be tweeked, but i don't have insurance right now. once i have it again i'm going back to the pdoc & see what we can do w/my meds.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fordchic08
Hi Roxem,
when i was finally diagnosed last year, my first reaction leaving the Psych's office was anger resentment mainly because of the stigma attached. i had hidden my illness so well, that most everyone i knew had no idea, except those closest who were in the firing line of my moods and uncontrollable choice making. I knew myself i had an illness but denial was my drug to keep going, to pretend it was everyone else that was different, not me. My working life has mainly been nursing and in recent years working for the government in disability, meaning that i looked after bipolar sufferers and would listen to my uncaring co workers make fun and mock them. Little did they know or still know that they were working next to one. Im very lucky to have an understanding partner that has helped me to accept thats its a part of who i am, and with proper medication and support, it can be controlled very well. I spent a long time thinking im so alone and no one could ever understand what my mind does to me, but once i began to accept that its a part of me for the rest of my life, it was actually a huge relief. Im now glad that i know that im not alone, and finding this website has actually helped me to realise that having bipolar is not my fault and my bad days now have a name, instead of me denying who i really am. Ive told some of my family and friends, but am still weary of what i say to others who have no idea. Most have been great and it has answered questions they were asking themselves about me...the ones who werent so accepting ive learnt that maybe they werent true friends to begin with..
whatever you do and where ever you are, just remember that YOU and the most important person, and people who truely care for you will love you for who you are and not what they want or expect you to be.. honesty is the only way to have peace, even though its much harder than denial.. i hope i have helped in some way...take care and remember you are not alone ever..
people are so inconsiderate. its a shame that the very people that take care of us at our worst (nurses) go behind our backs & make fun of us if i were you i would be hesitant telling them of your bp, but it doesn't sound like a big loss. they don't sound like they're even worth having as friends.
i try to hide my feelings from everyone too. the funny thing is, on new years eve (while quite tipsy) i FINALLY told my best friend that i have bp. i was soooo surprised at her reaction! she just kinda laughed & said "i already know" like it was no big deal! i asked how she knew & she just explained that she knows other people with bp & she could tell by my mood swings. she was completely understanding, & i finally started getting my family into the idea of me having bp. now that i have the closest people to me getting on my side... it makes me less weary of telling others. i started seeing a new guy & last friday i had a bad night, my new cell phone was stolen & i got so emotional it hurt me so bad. so it was a bad night, when i got home & got my old cell phone re-activated my guy called me & still wanted to hang out. but i told him i had already taken my seroquel & it would knock me out soon. when he asked what the seroquel was for i told him about the bp. i'm not sure if he took it very well, but if a guy can't handle my bp then he can't handle ME!! so i'm happy with my decision to tell him. as long as i have good people on my side, then if the new people in my life get scared away because i tell them i have bp then fine with me. hahaha, we'll see how this goes....
thanks for your reply. its great to hear your acceptance of who you are and how you are coping with it. I like to think we are special, for we have to cope with what most NORMAL...lol people couldnt do for one day...every day of our lives and we are still able to contribute extrordinary things in our lives.
thanks for your reply. its great to hear your acceptance of who you are and how you are coping with it. I like to think we are special, for we have to cope with what most NORMAL...lol people couldnt do for one day...every day of our lives and we are still able to contribute extrordinary things in our lives.
take care
your friend in aussieland..
hey! sorry i didn't respond earlier, this mania has got me running around all over the place!! you're right we deal with sooo much more!! most people couldn't handle our lives! we ARE special!
i was diagnoses with bipolar four years ago and recently i had a psychotic that lasted two years which had me driving to the border four or five times to escape to Thailand and looking for baby stuff because i thought i had a telekinetic baby
realizing i'm bipolar 
its hard for people to believe something they can't actually see.... except god...??? when i told my family that the doctor said i'm bipolar & they kind of laughed it off & didn't believe it, its been over a year & we haven't talked about it since that day so i don't know how to bring it up again.
Re: realizing i'm bipolar 
