All is fair in love and war they say. For me it is, all is fair in mania and depression. It is like belonging to a club with out monthly club fees. Every day we battle against feelings of depression or mania and we do anything, every thing to survive it.
It is sad that people who call them self friends be so cruel to expect some one with bipolar to use alcohol. For me it was exactly the same as for 8800gts. When I was drunk (I am sober for a while now) also wanted to talk to people all about problems or anything that came to mind. I do not do it no more because my feelings are to precious to shear with people who donít care about me. I was so bad that my name was synonymise with bad things when ever people was talking. The so called friends are no more friends at all.
Yes you can be more depressed as mania as it is with my self.
The tides come and goes, But deep in the sea the Bottom is far down and on top the Waves high with the winds So my you have a windless top side.
I too am glad to be a member of Club Bipolar. I was saying to someone with Bipolar on another site yesterday that I was so glad to relate to what he was going through (not that I like to hear about other people's suffering) because last night, I was off to my Friday night AA meeting and while I love my AA, people there DON'T understand what it is to be Bipolar, the massive life losses the illness brings and the relentless suffering. I am a nearly 11 years sober member of AA and would be dead without AA.
But there is one man there who has Unipolar Depression and he thinks because of that he knows what it is like for me. But Bipolar Disorder is way more complex than Unipolar Depression and sadly, that is reflected in double the amount of lives that are lost to Bipolar. Those are real statistics.
So, as much as I have a great deal in common with my AA buddies, they can never really understand what it is like to live in my shoes. But you guys certainly do. And I note that there are several members of the Bipolar Topic on HealthBoards who also have had alcohol or drug problems. I think Dual Diagnosis, ie a substance abuse history plus mental illness is more common than people know. It's hard enough to face up to having one of those problems, let alone the two. But of course we have to get to that point of admitting we had a problem to start to look at solutions. I was three years sober in AA when I surrendered to the fact that I had mental illness as well. Unfortuntely psychiatrists mis-medicated me for 6-7 years and I lost everything in my life and nearly my life itself as a result. But I am now medicated the best I ever have been and things are changing for the better. Catch you on the Boards!!!!
I was diagnosed bipolar eleven years ago after I suffered from depression. What you are all saying is so true--that no one understands what it feels like except someone else who has the illness. I have several close friends who I can discuss my depression with, but not the extreme mood swings of bipolar. I attend Al-Anon and Families Anonymous because I found out my son inherited my bipolar, added drugs and alcohol to the mix to escape having to acknowledge the mess it causes in our lives. I love this forum because many of you have bipolar. The philosophy in my support groups mentioned above is taking care of yourself despite the chaos caused by others who haven't taken steps to help themselves. Luckily for me, I wanted to get my cycles under control and have spent many years trying different anti-depressants and at last, have a good combination without horrible side effects on Zoloft. Also I found a warm, loving psychologist, who doesn't really know bipolar first hand, but works well with me. My son is quick to point out to me that there are many famous people that were bipolar and very creative; therefore, there is nothing wrong with having it and going untreated. He is yet to realize the chaos, pain and heartache we go through watching him self-destruct. He hasn't asked for help, but we stand ready to offer it if he ever does. Meanwhile, I accept that I am a lifer on medication and psychotherapy talking. But I lead a happy and basically stable life. It took years, but was worth it to me. There are plenty of us out there who are happy to share our bipolar experiences in your Bipolar Club, so keep reading and writing on this forum. Good luck!
Wow, there are some really profound threads going on this site at the moment. Author, thank you for saying it like it is, even with the terrible pain you must go through about your son. But where there is life there is hope. My Mum suffered terribly watching me going down and down and down in alcoholism and she was terrified I would die like my Dad did (and many of his relatives). I was clearly an active alcoholic but I was as-yet undiagnosed with mental illness at the time - and I was an utter ***** to my Mum - I would cut her to shreds with my mouth. I am an Atheist but I reckon that Mum's prayers for me must have got through because she was to see me get sober nearly 11 years ago and I was to make amends and we re-claimed a relationship as Mother and Daughter. I lost her two years ago.
Thankyou for talking about your success in dealing with Bipolar, even though it is a life-long endeavour. I nearly died at my own hand last year due to my mental illness and also terrible mis-prescription by psychiatrists (5 day coma and extensive medical interventions to save my life). I have been on Lamictal a few months now, went into the psych ward to increase the dosage more quickly to the therapeutic range and I can't believe what is happening to me. I am getting more and more functional every day, I am planning for the future and I have HOPE (I'm crying now - in a good way). I haven't had hope for years and years and years. My life has been rent assunder from end to end by the illness and the mis-prescriptions, but I want to claim a NEW life - totally different path to what I would have wanted, but a good, valuable life nevertheless. You know, you could blow me down with a feather - I never thought this day would come - I never thought I would see my way clear.
Please keep posting about you success because I think people need to see that it really CAN happen.