i got diagnosed like 3 years ago tried lots of meds doc told me i just had to find best cocktail for me.Thing is meds made me not me i hate feeling drowsy all the time.I have been of meds for a year now feel great run my own buisness and couldnt be happier.Thing is doc wants me to try taking meds again but i dont want to this sounds mad but i like the racing thoughts and feeling high i get all my best ideas when im this way.If it wasnt for these racing thoughts i wouldnt have buisness.I suppose im scared if i take meds ill lose my drive and ideas!! I love the high side of bipolar ok i dont like the lows but you have to take the good with the bad.Im bi polar for a reason and i wouldnt change it for the world it makes me me.All you hear about is the bad side of bi polar dosent anyone see the good side? Does anyone else like the highs n racing thoughts ? And do you think taking meds will stop me being me?
Hi, it is really good to hear that you have accepted that you are you and BP doesn't define you. I won't bang on about the the research that has shown trait of genius amongst BP sufferers but look it up it makes great reading.
I had all the reservations that you mentioned, the thought of turning off my ability to mentally multitask for 48 hours straight was unnerving. I now have CBT which allows me to plan and be more proactive and control the spikes I have. Looking through this type of measuring I wasn't as successful as I thought I was during a manic stage. I reluctantly started the Lithium journey with in-trepidation, it took a good 4 months to see the differences based on getting the measures correct for me but now I am (At the moment) functioning really very well. The Lithium tops and tales the main and depressive swings leaving you more in control. I quit drinking at the same time which is easier than it sounds. Altogether I would recommend Lithium on the basis that you can control your thoughts and actions without killing the creative buzz! Good luck and keep me posted!
To my way of thinking, if the meds make you feel like "not you" then you are either on the wrong mix or they need backing off a bit. I hate medication- I really do and it's an ironic thing that I've ended up looking at the probablility of meds forever; but the crashes aren't worth it. Each time I crash it gets worse and harder to get back up again, I don't know how it is for you? I've been on meds for nearly a year now and I still find it difficult- I'm still trying to sort through stuff, and in the beginning felt like a zombie, but then realised that one of the neds I was on was too higher dose. That sorted, things have come along in leaps and bounds. I still have my ups and downs to an extent, but they aren't as drastic. I know what you mean about the buzz you get from being manic- but as I get better I am finding I have more energy to do stuff in a more real and sustainable way. I have my bad days- everyone does, but I still have days when I'm full of energy, but I don't get the irritation and tears and then crash at the end of it.
It is possible to control Bp without meds, there are threads dedicated to it here, but it takes a lot of dedication.
I cant imagine my life if i had to live it without meds is just too hard and painfull, after 8 years of trying different meds i am getting closer to get them right and i get to feel human, withouth meds it feels like living in a horror movie , just a nightmare all the time and it hurts so badly...at least for me.
To comply or not to comply? Medication has also been a huge issue for myself as well and I can understand exactly what you are saying; particularly about being afraid of losing "yourself" and your creativity. I guess what it comes down to is...are you prepared to face the consequences if things spiral a little too far out of of control? Its a dilemma that I know only too well. I wish you luck and hope it works out:-}}]]
I can relate....I have suffered with ultra-rapid cycling bipolar for 27 years now, and have never taken any medication for it -- but not because I like the highs (though I do!), but mostly because I'm afraid of the negative side effects.
In the same boat. I like the high side too, and I worry I'll change if I'm on meds. Can you tell me about your drug experience when you were medicated? And how do you cope with the crashes when you're drug free?
I think everyone with bipolar understands where you are coming from. Once you have hit the pits or the ceiling in episodes, you realize you have to take this seriously and that means medication. From what I understand, the older you are when you begin treatment, the worse you can get. I think there are many reasons we don't want to take the meds, and let's face it, the cocktail mix of drugs are always changing. There's the money/insurance, stigma of taking drugs, weight gain, the drug mood of zombie land, a lot of other side effects, etc.
Our loved ones and friends cannot understand what we are going through on any level of this disease. Even friends or family members who may be bipolar may have a different perspective from us because their issues may be different -- if everyone with it reacted the same, etc. it would be easier to come up with an answer for it.
There can be disastrous results for people who quit their meds and I know I cannot quit my meds.
im 23 years old and i was diagnosed with bipolar last december. since then, ive been medicated and through one behavioral therapy. i blame the meds for so many problems in my life. ive gained weight, i cant carry a conversation, and i feel like a zombie. to be honest, i miss my mania. i've been medicated for 7 months now and they were the 7 months of zombie land. ive lost my life. i am seriously thinking of stopping my medication and hoping to see where it takes me.
Hi! I just wanted to say that I have racing thoughts still and I am on a mood stabilizer, anti-depressant, and anxiety meds. It helps to level me out and remain calm and objective. I just have to force myself to keep going if I am tired (b12 helps). I am a retail Manager and multi-task all day long. I am constantly thinking!!! The meds keep me from sadness, loss of intrest, and anger.
I am Bipolar 1 and have had some serious episodes, even mixed episodes. I think for a while I was different when first starting meds, but that was because my body was getting used to my meds. I'm still funny and joke alot and I love to smile, it's how I get through my day. So yes, it may change you for a moment, you just need to find the right meds for you. Is your depression bad? Mine was severe before the Wellbutrin xl! Meds saved my life and brought me back to ME! I also have alot of support from my Parents. I feel better in the past two years than I have since I was a little person knowing I was different than everyone else. My change has been for the better. Good luck to you and your journey of thoughts! Have a good one!
maybe if i get to retire and be a real
cranker i will consider not taking meds anymore.
I guess if you have no responsibility, no friends, no family then it's ok to not manage your illness. Personally I feel that I owe it not just to myself, but to everyone that depends on me to continue to stay on top of things indefinitely.
Last edited by Administrator; 09-09-2010 at 04:50 PM.
Reason: inappropriate subject
You've answered your own question. If you dont want to take the meds - then don't.
It IS fantastic being high. Is it wonerful being low? For how long are you low? How low will you be next time?
For me, there came a point where being too high or too low was more than either they or I could reasonably be expected to cope with. So I started on the meds.
I still manage to get manic but not hyper. I still get depressed but not suicidal.
Its a trade off. The meds allow me to near enough blend in without causing too much consternation - mostly.
They're not really comfortable with either of my states or the shades in between BUT at least, on the meds, it enables them to relax a little.
You know I think honestly it's a "Too Each His Own" situation. Some BP'ers can go without meds and still manage to handle a pretty normal life and not get themselves into trouble all the time with the ups and downs. Some of us can't. My lows come with extreme self-harm issues and suicidal issues that being off meds is not an issue. I've spent too much time in-patient and doing ECT to even risk it. So I guess you just have to step back take a look at the big picture and do what you think is best. But, having said that, if your pdoc/doc wants you on meds, there must be a reason. Maybe you should pole your friends/family and make sure you're not acting out during your highs more than you think you are. Just a thought....
It is entirely my decision to take meds. When I'm manic to hypermanic, there is but one choice. Do I want to be sectioned under the Mental Health Act, arrested or worse or would I far rather bring myself back down and thereby avoid all that inconvenience AND retain all of my friends or not? I can't do that without medication. There very well might be a bigger picture but I prefer to avoid being locked up because I really do hate it. Whether or not its my fault, is really of no consequence because they always treat me as if it is anyway. Meds generally prevent that eventuality from happening, which is good enough for me.