i have been seeing shadows of people staring at me and see shadows out of the corner of my eyes. i started hearing people talking and i eve hear myself talking over and over in my head. i repeat words and things over and over in my head. i want to be left alone and not bugged by anyone even my children. for about two years i left my family and lived on the streets and my family never knew where i was. i do that sometimes.
i get so fustrated with my loved ones. i chased them, beat them up and other mean things. i tried to kill my self many times i even ran my car off the road.i have a hard time trying to work and i tried to go back to school but i was suspended for bad grades and i am 26 years old. when i would do my homework it would take me hours to try and understand it.
i have no feelings. i laugh at diasters and i am mean to people that don't even know me i have no friends and i dont care to have any either. i take care of myself now but iam stil sloppy about it. when i was young i had two imagany freinds when i was little. i lose sense with reality when i think about stuff too much and when i come too i am chewing on my tongue.
i have bad memory where i can't remember some of yesterday. they diagnosed me with bipolar 1 but i think i may be something else because when i start to feel better i stop taking my pills and causes me to relapse and do something psychotic and now i am commited to see my doctor 4 times a year. please help and respond thanks.