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worried about finding love

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Old 08-03-2010, 07:13 AM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2010
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jmt03 HB User
worried about finding love

i have recently been diagnosed with bipolar 1 and im scared of being alone, is their anyone out there that is in ahappy relationship? also i had a gambling problem for 7 years it started after i lost my first child and have stopped completely in the last 2 months but now im shopping nearly everyday and feel guilty is this normal? this medication seroquel makes me tired, how many medications do people go through until they find the right one? im so lost and scared my family isnt close and i dont have any good friends just my ex boyfriend and i feel like he doesnt want me around, i have no one to talk to my three sisters dont understand please help me by answering atleast one of my questions it would help alot thanks Jess x

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Old 08-04-2010, 08:04 PM   #2
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Re: worried about finding love

hi jess,
i am worried about the same thing. i got divorced two years ago and my ex was the only person who really understood my illness. he has actually been pretty supportive even after we got divorced but now he has a girlfriend and is moving on. my family tries to be supportive but most of the time they don't understand and it always causes fights between me and my sister. also, my family all lives in different states than me so i don't see them that often. i have friends around here but nobody really understands my illness even though i try to explain to them. they're not mean about it, they just don't get it. i just feel like i'm alone. i feel like if i start dating someone, when do i tell them i'm bipolar? i am expecting that anyone will just run away. so i'm scared to even put myself out there in the dating pool. i want to have a family but i am afraid that i won't find anyone who wants to deal with me or have children with me. i didn't have children with my first husband. it worries me too. it's not just you. i hope that makes you feel a teeny bit better.
Bipolar I Disorder with Mixed Episodes & Anxiety Disorder

Lexapro 20 mg
Lithium ER 900 mg
Lamictal (Lamotrigine) 300 mg
Xanax (Alprazolam) 0.5-1.0 mg

Old 08-05-2010, 06:39 AM   #3
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Re: worried about finding love

My parents have been married over 50 years and love each other with all their hearts. My Dad is bipolar. They have had issues because of it over the many years
but their love is strong.
I would not recommend that you tell someone you're bipolar on the first date.
In time, as comfort levels grow, you will know what time "feels right".


Old 08-05-2010, 06:49 AM   #4
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jmt03 HB User
Re: worried about finding love

it seems like everyone with bipolar cant find real love its a sad and scary thought, im 26 and i have a 5 year old son but he lives with his dad and the person i love is an ex partner but he doesnt love me. Im wondering if i will ever find someone that will love me in return i cant seem to move on from my ex and we are still friends but im scared of what will happen when he does meet someone, im very close with him he is my only real friend and what will happen when he meets someone will i be depressed for a long period of time?

i would love to have another baby but i need to find the right person but im thinking no one will love someone like me. How long until you except the fact that you have bipolar? i dont know who i am anymore and thank you for replying is it hard to know that your ex husbands moved on? thanks again Jessie

Old 08-17-2010, 02:23 PM   #5
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frontline82 HB User
Re: worried about finding love

everyone is scared of being alone, i know i am.
i have alot of problems, never been diagnosed coz i am worried i will get sectioned and feel very alone.
could be worse, dont know how but thats what they say

i am up and down like a yoyo, happy one minute and depressed the next.
would love to find someone that could love me for me, but worried no one ever will if they get to know me, so i never open up.
hard for people to love you and trust you if you cant even tell them that you are crazy in case they run...

always wanted a daughter, but worried i wouldnt be able to show emotion or give her the love she would deserve and need.
downside to being emotionally detatched and manic.

never had friends, had a couple of guys i hung around with at school.
never liked them and they were horrible people, most people are and that scares me more than myself.

Old 08-17-2010, 03:14 PM   #6
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Re: worried about finding love

happiness is out there for all of you.Dont become a victim of your illness.You have an illness,just like others do-not a certificate to doom.Your illness is trestable and a many a people function at the highest levels in life with bipolar is not a one way ticket to lonliness and misery.

You have to start adding a little positive thinking into your lives.Like yourselves.Like life.Understand your illness.Just dont read the negative on it,for all illnesses have good and bad sides.Many people in high positions are bipolar.

Many bipolar peole are married and have families.You have to make time for yourselves to be in a good place in life.With this i think relationships that are healthy follow.All people arent meant to be married.All people arent meant to be married,and that is fine too.I am not!I am happy!Make room for change and failure,happiness and joy,peace and acceptance in life.:0)

Old 08-19-2010, 12:14 PM   #7
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skeerdykat HB User
Re: worried about finding love

Newbie/first post alert: leonap, thank you so much for your encouraging words of hope. Lurker here...just got back from my pcp with new prescriptions for Effexor and Geodon to help combat the depression, and was curious about the Geodon.

I had taken myself off all meds in May in a misguided attempt to fix myself (manic, compulsive spending...) and was feeling very lost and overwhelmed by the whole process. It seems I'm danged if I do (take meds) and double-danged it I don't...

Even though I have a DH who has stuck with me so far, I worry about the future. He's much older than me, he deserves more than to have to buy his own TV dinners because I'm too zombie-fied to cook, or shop, or function right now...

I guess the important thing to remember is, This too shall pass. Eventually, hopefully, one way or the other, we will all be in a better place; hopefully, spiritually and emotionally.

Unintentional randomness & rambling. What I mean to say to you, leonap, is this: Thanks for the words of encouragement. You never know what kind of poor, lost souls are listening in, and "out of self, into others" is the most important thing to could really, truly, help save us all. Peace, joy, love, happiness to you

Old 08-19-2010, 07:34 PM   #8
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Re: worried about finding love

OH wow, ya..........I'lll chat with ya girl. Yes, you will find love. I have been married three times. This time to a wonderful supporting man. I found the right meds and things are pretty good for the most part.
I was sick for over thirty years till I found the right meds and that took a few years for the doc to find.
I Also take seroquel. U should take it at night. I believe it is a bit of a sedative and a mood stablizer if I'm not mistaken? I take lamictal in the AM. A must have drug. All I know is it works for me. Dont give up, ok? It will alll work out and you are never alone. There are alot of people in the world! You cant miss them. They are everywhere!

Old 08-25-2010, 12:47 PM   #9
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Re: worried about finding love

Hi braveheart226. I appreciate your comments, but I would have to disagree with your advice about when to "let the cat out of the bag."

Get it out of the way as soon as you feel you want to do more than just hang out with someone...better to know that they can deal with it sooner than later. If they run because you tell the truth, they aren't someone you need in your life anyway.

Just my 2 cents.

Old 08-29-2010, 01:06 PM   #10
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doraki HB User
Re: worried about finding love

Oh baby have you been that far? I m so happy for you and i mean it
Be patient. Everything will soon change for the best and you wont believe that such a miracle happened to you. If you really want love you will find it but love is not outside of you. Its inside you. Acceptance is outside and if people don't accept you that much believe me there will be one day that the opposite will happen. Its a circle thats why it has two poles. Have you ever been west or east? This is where your partner lies

Old 09-01-2010, 09:29 AM   #11
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chennuk HB User
Re: worried about finding love

Hi, i thought id add that i think we all have thoughts of loneliness, i feel im lucky in the fact that seroquel has had a major impact on me. I was really in a bad place for a long time, the fact that people who haven't had it or don't have it makes it all the more frustrating. Luckily for me, i have a close family, my dad is bi polar and they have been there to help, since i was put on seroquel, i feel im getting there. I also have my worries about finding someone who understands it, however, now im on medication, i feel much more confident and hopeful about the future. It is an illness, but a treatable ilness, i look back and think of the terrible times i couldn't get out of bed to work, the self hate, the paranoid state i was in, the rambling. People think your some kind of nutcase, you start to believe it yourself.

I feel im a stronger person for it, just because we have an illness doesnt
mean we have not got so much to give. I have gone from not being able to leave the house to going back to work, joining a gym, ive made friends, all normal stuff to your everyday person, but huge if you have suffered from bi polar. I try to look on the brightside now, i still worry about things, but worrying about things is nothing to the place i was at. Its normal to worry! i feel confident that i will meet someone who loves me for the person i am. There is light at the end of the tunnel, sharing your problems on here is always a help, because your talking to people who understand it. My dad came through it, i am on my way, its something we all have inside us. You have to learn to love yourself first and foremost.
Take care

Old 09-11-2010, 03:41 PM   #12
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ackybreaky01 HB User
Re: worried about finding love

Frontline...I know exactly what your saying,depressed people never seem to have friends, we are bummers. Sometimes I dont even like being around me. I am afraid that i will never have anormal relationship with anyone.

Old 09-12-2010, 05:28 AM   #13
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Esha HB UserEsha HB User
Re: worried about finding love

I have lost a few friends telling them I am bipolar and some others because I began to shy away from them. I am a loner but I dont like being alone. I need someone to love and someone to love me back. I understand what you mean. Sometimes I feel that I will never be loved because my self esteem is so low (because ive gained massive weight due to meds) I dont even love myself. So yeah, I totally understand you. Hopefully things will look up for us. Hopefully life gives us a chance or we get some luck. Hugs.

Old 09-12-2010, 09:15 PM   #14
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Re: worried about finding love

New to this so I first want to say hello. Anyway, I was officially diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in 2005. I am married to an awesome husband. It took a lot of counseling and support for us to make it through the first couple years but, 6 years later we are still together. We have our own relationship that is different from most but, we are best friends and that's all that matter. I take my meds regularly and see my doctor as well and this helps out!

Last edited by UmI3; 09-14-2010 at 11:06 AM. Reason: I didn't realize that BPD was an acronym for Borderline Personality Disorder. I meant it to mean Bipolar Disorder

Old 09-13-2010, 03:17 PM   #15
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doraki HB User
Re: worried about finding love

I would like to agree with Leonap but my condition right now does not allow it. All that I have learned is that we have to be good with each other. We all fight the mystery of life whether ill or not and what gets up gets down and what makes circles oneday stops.

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