Hi my name is jason and I am in serious pain. I was diagnosed over 10 years ago with Bi polar disorder but went unmedicated the entire time..just self medication. My life has gotten worse and worse over the years to the point of me beating my own face black and blue to burning myself . I am an exploder with a serious temper and anger problem. I am also ADHD, obsessive , and suffer from lots of Anxiety issues . I worry constantly. i feel up and down and all over the place . I have suicide thoughts almost daily. I AM NOT A SUICIDLE person by nature , it goes against everything I believe in but I feel like I am running out of time fighting off my demons. I finally went and saw a DR and was brutally honest with him .....He has me on seroquel , lithium and depakote . I have been on the meds for over 2 weeks now and I take them as directed . He gave me the seroquel for when I get angry or agitated but I am hurting myself still on it when i have episodes..... Do I have Borderline personality disorder or something else maybe? I have a great heart and a lot to offer when I am stable but it is getting out of control .....
Have you considered asking your Dr. to put you in on a 72 hr. hold so that you could properly be evaluated and given the right medicine that might work well with your mind and body right now? They could probably get you something fast to control the agitation an that would probably make it easier to calm down and relax. Can you call your pdoc and let him know whats going on and suggest this to him? From what your posting you seem to be in real crisis mode and I am very concerned for you.
i was diagnosed about 5 yrs ago , have always taken some sort of medicine perscribed. but i have never been fully better, never really felt normal, way better some times lasting a few months, then bang, depressed badly again, and relized i have never gotta truley better becuase i have been up and down continously for about 5 years. and i beat my self up with stress, i stress so bad my hair thins out , and i wear a wig, my face breaks out, just dont feel good, but as soon as i feel way better more manic , those thinggs disapear and i feel great. like i can only handle so much too , my running out of ideas to make myself normal , before i feel i totally lose it .
and i have really bad aniexty , always nervous, jumpy, sometiems when i talk i feel like im talking strangley and get uncomfortable, other times, i have so much confidence and feel normal, but really i dont know what normal feels like, ||
so im going off in left feild, im just glad i can write this stuff down .
i feel like i have some sort of personality disorder in a way , becuyase i change my life style all the time, go from one extreme to the next with everything. example, llived the life being a stripopper, to now working in a professional atomsphere , like just change so much , with everything , i dunno how to edxample , ,you message related to my thoughts but not sure how to example, hope this response helps lol ... im rambling ...
You need to contact your pdoc or go to an er. If you go to an er please make sure they have a behavioral health unit. It's more traumatic if you need to be transfered by the police (this is what they do in my area so i only go to one specific hospital). In a medical unit they can change your meds much quicker than if you are just seeing your regular pdoc. There is also something comforting about being safe in a medical unit.
im on the same tablets and they dont work strait away i have been on them for 4 months now and they have only just started to work .i still think of harming my self every day but i do feel a lot better if you ever need some one to talk to just leave me a note on here . take care your not alone any more
Please understand that you need support right now. Your meds will take some time to work, but it sounds like you need immediate help. You should find a mental health facility, even if it is State funded, and get the help you deserve.
I was diagnosed in 2001 with BP1. I know I have always had problems with depression and rage and such though. It has taken me a very long time to find the right meds for me. Don't give up on your meds and keep taking them the way you are supposed to, other wise it could complicate things even more if you have withdrawals and such.
I am 36 years old and still feel like I need help from counselors and family to manage my disease. Also know that depression can take you to very dark places...please hang in there and fight for your life, don't give up...never give up. Always keep in the back of your mind that everything will be okay! Take it one minute at a time if you have to. Please get the help you need, meds are not the only part of getting well. Educate yourself and keep your doc informed. Let your family and friends know that you need their support right now.
If you ever need to talk...please know you can talk to me.