I know live alone and must do things on my own. I plan to do things the next day. I have my list prepared all stores neatly close by so everything will will only take an 1 hour.
I dont know what to do, I will sit here with no food no drink.
this cant go on.
I know it's wrong, the family is up north.
the ex really let me be fully dependant on him.
long story there.
I dont like it, knowing he rides by knowing I havent left this house.
I need to get out of here.
Thank you
Joyce
The following user gives a hug of support to joyca64: Cementbrains (05-10-2011)
Re: bipolar for years help me get out of this house
Make a list of what you need. Then just go for a ride to a nice place, or a place that is fun for you. If you pick up a thing or two that you need great. Beats me going to the same darn store way too many times because I forgot something. I am such an airhead any way. Thank God anything really important was tied on a birth. et
Re: bipolar for years help me get out of this house
Are you seeing a pdoc or therapist? how long ago did your ex move out, is that what triggered your not being able to leave the house? Or have you always had this problem, are you agoraphobic? Sorry for the questions, but this doesn't sound like bipolar and I'm curious what your actual diagnosis was?
Re: bipolar for years help me get out of this house
well i was dianosed in 2003 w/ bp and treated with this ever since with a doctor psychitrist.
many meds many bull, but i keep on doing as i need to .
I have had alot of changes in my life good and maddd in the past 4 yrs.
and well i guess i've shut down, a man 13yrs. this past friday. pulled a weapon and was using my b/p in away it would work for him. because i had so much on my own plate i never did realize. needless to say he's gone and will never return again.
Imay forgive from my heart but i never forget.
i was told years ago i have agoraphobia, never new much about that.
Re: bipolar for years help me get out of this house
Well it honestly sounds like you are an agoraphobic, as being afraid to leave ones home is not a typical symptom of BiPolar. I'm sorry that you've been abused so much by your ex. Do you see your pdoc for therapy also, or just med management? If you do see him for therapy, it really seems like you and he need to come up with a plan to start dealing with these issues. Make a list and tackle them one at a time. It's all about "baby steps", with the 2 diseases that you have you can't rush either one for a cure, all you can do is learn tools on how to deal with them. If you don't do therapy with your pdoc, then I would ask him for a reccomendation for that immediately and get started. I would almost consider it malpractice of him if he's not your therapist as well, and hasn't ever sent you to one. This is very hard and you won't be able to do it on your own, so you really need someone to talk to and someone that will teach you tools to deal with these things.
I hope today is a bit better for you today. In the meantime, is there a grocery store nearby where you can order groceries and such either by the phone or over the internet and have them delivered to you? Things like that are things that you can do yourself. Once again, make a list of all the things that have to be done around your home, things you need to do to take care of yourself, etc. and then research on the internet on possible ways to get them done. Start small, but try to do at least 1 thing a day, and the next day add 1 more thing, so on and so on.
Re: bipolar for years help me get out of this house
Wow, I am the same way. It's been like this for 5 months now. I think it's severe depression. I have always been kind of an isolator, but never this bad. I have to force myself to go out & I only go for food(I have a child, I have to). I only can do the basic care for my son, changing, feeding, all needs met, but I spend days in same pjs & have to force myself to shower, brush teeth, clean, laundry. It's horrible. I have the best intentions, like you do, BUT I JUST CAN't! He is almost 2 so I know this isn't PPD. I was fine, well for me anyway until December.I am on my meds, thanks to refills, but I am running out & need to go to dr. I should of went months ago, to tweak my meds, but can't even bring myself to pick up phone to make appt. BTW, I'm single too
So, I think the only suggestion that will help you is to get to dr asap for therapy, meds, or to change them if ur already on them. You should call a friend & ask them to come over and help you make an appt. & then drive you on that day so you will have no excuse not to go. That's what works for me when I feel like this. I'm going to follow my own advice now. It's absoutlely horrible & not fair to my son. I just kept thinking it would go away, lol.
Just wanted you to know I feel ur pain, it is absoloutely bipolar, major depressive episode & maybe agorophobia too. Get prop dx'd & on right meds, me too! Let me know.
Re: bipolar for years help me get out of this house
I think agorophobia is probably diagnossed way 2 often. It goes hand & hand with depression. Sometimes my main goal is getting showered, shaved, and teeth brushed. I have a business to run so I just can't go into the public as a slob. I also will stay in my office and keep the windows closed.
A manic phase for me is just paying bills, getting business done and etc. I have my meds tweeked now and don't want any changes. We all know what that's like. --et--
Re: bipolar for years help me get out of this house
Possibly, but there is a big difference between "agoraphobia" and "not wanting to leave home because your depressed". I know easily, my depression gets so bad at times that I don't leave my home, or eat, or talk, or basically move from whatever spot i'm in for days. But during that time I never feel like I can't leave the house. So it just depends on the diff. between how your feeling. Generally if you truly cannot step outside your home without feeling threatened or a fear so intense you honestly believe it can cause you harm....you're suffering from Agoraphobia.
Re: bipolar for years help me get out of this house
Wow I know how hard that is because I was that type but I also had a agoraphobia, I did some exposure therapy with my therapist because I needed to get out more, so maybe that will work for you.
Re: bipolar for years help me get out of this house
I also suffer from bi-polar and major depression and yes there are ALOT of days I don't want to leave my house because of this. It's not that i am afraid to go out it is just i don't WANT to and once my mind is made up that i'm not going i don't go. This has put a strain on my marriage but i can't help it. I DO take my meds everyday but sometimes i still just want to stay home and that's what i do. It is easy for someone to say WHY? because they have never walked in our shoes even though they live with us and know all about our health issues there is just simply NO way for them to completely understand how we feel. I hope this helped some because your post helped me out also so thank you very much and until next time TAKE CARE!!!!
The following user gives a hug of support to tinkerbell45: bippygirl (05-02-2011)
The Following User Says Thank You to tinkerbell45 For This Useful Post: bippygirl (05-02-2011)
Re: bipolar for years help me get out of this house
I'm glad I'm not the only one. I just really feel like a freak. I'm often glad that I don't date or live with anyone so they don't see how weird I am. But sometimes I feel I would be better motivated if I lived with another adult(I have a toddler) Now that the weather broke, I have been FORCiNG myself o take my son out for walks at least an hour a day.
Re: bipolar for years help me get out of this house
bipolar 2 with serve depression, diagnosed 5years ago
sometimes i think bipolar is a learning process.... once we fall into an eposide we must learn how to live each day productively again.....
when im really depressed i dont want to be in public, i think i fear that everyone is looking at me, and they know how im feeling.... but you know what thats so stupid, its all in my mind.... i find i have to force myself to get up and shower, once i hit the shower, my mood changes...... its like a chore to start my day.. but once im showered and ready to go , i force myself to even go to the convience store, and once im there, i actually feel better, its all about making urself do something... if you let your feelings take over, u will swim in depression, and if you dont try, you wont fix your problem.....
its hard for me to go to the grocery store, i even hypervenalate sometimes, but hey .... i can do it
i work full time mon through friday 8-5.. and i do it , i feel good ... but you know whats strange.. on wknds, i usually accomplish nothing ,and dont shower till 3 in the afternoon, becuase im not being forced to do anything.... after work i clean, shower, go for a walk, even go out for dinner sometimes, i feeel so motivated, but the wknds are so hard for me, becuase i dont have really any friends, so im all on my own, but i been taking baby steps to improve this........... its all about steps, and faith, believe in yourself, only u can do it.. no one else can fix your life, not a doc, meds, nothing, they help, but arent the souls medicine!!! good luck
Re: bipolar for years help me get out of this house
i know what it's like to not want to go out of the house for weeks at a time. i am totally dependent on my husband for everything and i can't drive for 6 months because i have seizures. he does everything. i understand what you feel and how you feel i just wish i could tell you when it would get better. please know you are not alone.
Re: bipolar for years help me get out of this house
Hi all
once again I'm exactly the same,totally dependant on hubby,I also need him to help me bathe and cook. When I look around this site there are so many of us in the same boat.
I can't believe the lack of free publications here in the *UK* that can be mailed,I'm teying to educate my family on bipolar but its really difficult and my parents don't use a computer.
Re: bipolar for years help me get out of this house
Thank you SOO much for your words of encouragement. People that don't live with this diease have NO idea just how hard it is. I also rely on my husband for ALOT of help and i am VERY blessed to have a wonderful sister that will do anything to help me. We just need to try to hang on but it SOOOO hard sometimes. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
TAKE CARE!!!!
Last edited by Administrator; 05-12-2011 at 12:01 AM.
Re: bipolar for years help me get out of this house
i'm just a bit relived to know there is someone else out there like me. i'm glad what i said was of some comfort to you. thank you for the prayers. i also send prayer your way. at this stage in the game i rely on it quite a bit. i hope you'll let me know how you are doing.
The following user gives a hug of support to bldkie: jacq42 (05-21-2011)
