| | Do I have Bipolar Disorder?
I seriously doubt my diagnosis. I tried to kill my self when i was 14 andwas diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder (im currently 19)
when im with close friends or complete stranger i just met i feel all crazy and that i have energy that could last for days and i just talk and laugh and am super outgoing, but when im at collage with people i see every day and know me or at home i feel like **** sometimes.
I can feel like no words can hurt me and im just so awesome and something tiny happens or mabye even just a memory and everything will quickly spiral into i suck, im usless and just bad. this change can happen in 30 minutes. I feel like i don't know who i am. Do I like this? Do i prefure this?
Im studing design now and when i enterd i felt so sure of it and so "this is what i want". Its been 3 moths in the career and i feel like i made the wrong decision and my pasion is singing and dancing and not drawing and im just... lost. Mabye im lazy and i just want to find an excuse for someone else to deal with my lazyness. i don't know!
Im fatigued all the time. I go to sleep at about 3 in the morning basicly because i deside to becuase im never tierd at night, but in the morining i don't want to get out of bed and i feel tierd, like im missing sleep.
If no one wakes me up i can sleep up to 12 hours. i mainly funtion on 5 hours.
I want to eat heathier and do exercice but i lack of will power and my emotional rolercoster is not helping me.
I think i may have cyclothymia... in two days I'll see my psychiatrist for my monthly check up... so i want to be sure.