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Old 01-15-2012, 10:06 PM   #1
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Sick of being manic....

God I am sick of being manic.....3month, 16 days and counting...I would like a good bout of depression right about now...sick of trying to force my brain to slow down for just an hour out of a 24 hour day...sick of watching the world spin off it's axis at full tilt. I know the meds are right, know they should be working...what's the deal? I've been playing this bipolar game for 23 years and it gets so freaking old.....1 slip, 1 stupid decision to be my own person and manage my own self.....screw it all, screw the meds....and man I'm paying for it....I am so tired of pdocs and tdocs and meds and all of it...just sick and freaking tired of it....

oh well...it's been a long weekend, trying to keep it all in check, trying to keep me in check...had to vent a bit. Hope all you other BP'ers are faring a bit better these days!

kat

 
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Old 01-17-2012, 04:47 AM   #2
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Re: Sick of being manic....

Hi Kat -

So sorry to read of your bout of mania - I am bipolar II and so the worst I've ever been is hypo-manic - is there anything that helps (e.g. cognitive behavioral therapy, strong mood stabilizers)? Believe me I know how tiring enduring depression/mania is - as difficult as it is, you will feel better eventually - now is the time to take care of Kat - that is, doing whatever you need to help you feel better.

Also, try to remember that the meds can help - let your doctor know that you are having problems - perhaps you need something more or different.

Yours,

John B.

 
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Old 01-17-2012, 08:02 AM   #3
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Re: Sick of being manic....

Bless you Kat,
I'm sorry your going through the manic stage,
For me when I get the hypomanic stage I actually enjoy it at first, I feel like anything is possible, I'm so high on life! The higher manic stage I don't like, I feel so anxious and so worn out from not being able to relax. I've had this Bipolar condition since being a kid and I myself feel worn out from it at times. I've had those days when I do not want to experience it no more, then I think about my fellow friends who go through the same thing and I appreciate being alive and being there for them which helps me mentally...
Please hang in there my friend,
David

 
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Old 01-18-2012, 12:39 PM   #4
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Re: Sick of being manic....

Hi Kat,
I would gladly exchange a little of my depression with your manic. I stay in the depressed mode more than anything. When I do hit manic though, it is a doozy, it just doesn't stay long but that is ok cause I am completely worn out when it leaves.

I know what you mean about all the medicines, I am still trying new things and I HATE taking medicines especially trying new ones because I am very sensitive to a lot of medications and I have to go through a lot of sickness to find what will work for me.
Hang in there maybe some slower times are ahead (depression is no fun either).

Lisa

 
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Old 01-18-2012, 08:04 PM   #5
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Re: Sick of being manic....

Hey Katlin my name is mike Ive been in a mania since thanksgiving I know its irritating because not one 'normal' person understands we look like were not mentally disabled I'm bi polar as well...... What you need to do is find what your trigger is in your million thoughts a a second and i know it seems unbelievable that one thought out of the millions is what may be keeping you manic. I'm 20 years old and am having a hard time keeping my anger in line i know how you feel
You will come down soon the only reason i say that is i hope i will to this no sleep thing is getting old really fast

 
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Old 01-18-2012, 08:05 PM   #6
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Re: Sick of being manic....

Hey Katlin my name is mike Ive been in a mania since thanksgiving I know its irritating because not one 'normal' person understands we look like were not mentally disabled I'm bi polar as well...... What you need to do is find what your trigger is in your million thoughts a a second and i know it seems unbelievable that one thought out of the millions is what may be keeping you manic. I'm 20 years old and am having a hard time keeping my anger in line i know how you feel
You will come down soon the only reason i say that is i hope i will to this no sleep thing is getting old really fast

 
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Old 01-19-2012, 07:15 AM   #7
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Re: Sick of being manic....

Mike,

Yeah for me that's the deal...my trigger is not something I can control. I have cluster migraines and Grand Mal Seizures...the seizures kicked up last year, 8 in 3 months, so I had to up my seizure meds in October, this caused the manic phase...so now it's just trying to play catch up with the psych meds! I take 13 meds and 2 injections everyday for various diseases and conditions...and it's just one big balancing act....so...hopefully we can get things balanced soon! But thinks for taking the time to answer back!

Have a great day and hope your BP stays settled!

Kat

 
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Old 01-26-2012, 09:32 AM   #8
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Re: Sick of being manic....

I'm sorry you have been struggling with Bipolar for so many years and your mania lasts so long. My 1st mania episode was in 2007 and lasted several months requiring multiple hospitalizations.

I find dealing with mania is the most difficult because of external aspects affecting the internal, such as having to go to work while manic, having physical health issues conflicting as well, stressful environments or other factors.

I find I go manic or hypomanic after a bout of depression. I recommend keeping track of your mood so you can try and predict the next swing. This has helped me greatly as I know if I am depressed or chronically depressed, there is a danger of mania or hypomania after it releases and I can prepare or be more aware of my symptoms.

I hope you find a way to come down from your mania soon and it isn't causing too much damage to your life. Hopefully you find peace soon

 
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Old 02-01-2012, 03:29 PM   #9
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Re: Sick of being manic....

trust me I keep track of my moods....my pdoc has me keep diaries of my moods daily, my sleep daily, my food intake daily, umm...whatelse....lol....every single thing I do, think, eat, sleep, or feel is kept track of daily on paper....it's a blast...keeping every aspect of your life on paper in a notebook....

Whatever, such is life. or the life of a hardcore bipolar.....luckily the med adjustments have kicked in and the mania has settled down some....one of these days it might just go all the way back to stability, we'll see. For now, at least functionability is at least attainable...well without the sleep part....I still haven't managed to master the sleep part, but hey, I never needed much sleep anyway.

I've been doing this for so many years that I keep "safety precautions" in place so that my mania's don't reek too much havoc on my life....a good friend steps in and controls my money, so I don't blow through it, I'm self employed, so I can work at 3:00a.m. and there's nobody to gripe about it, I'm allergic to alcohol so I can't party and go nuts.....and I have a ton of other health problems that keep me from being able to go out running around doing spur of the moment crap too much.

So, such is life...we go on, and do the best we can I guess......

 
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